AITA for Paying Off My Wife’s Student Loans but Not My Sister’s?

A 34-year-old man recently won a large amount of money and used it to pay off his wife’s $65k student loans, bringing them financial relief. However, his sister, who has $50k in student loans, asked for help as well. He declined, citing her more casual approach to finances and his desire to save the remaining money for his future with his wife.

This decision upset his sister and parents, who feel he’s playing favorites and not honoring the family’s value of mutual support. Now, he’s questioning his choice. read the original story below…

‘ AITA for Paying Off My Wife’s Student Loans but Not My Sister’s?’

I (34M) recently came into a significant amount of money (I won on Stake, playing online slots), so I’m using a throwaway. It’s life-changing for me and my family. I’ve been married to my wife (32F) for five years, and we’ve been working hard to pay off her student loans, which were around $65k.

She’s always been super responsible with her finances, but the debt was a big stressor. With this windfall, I decided to pay off her loans entirely. It felt like the right thing to do since we’re building our life together and share finances. She cried when I told her, and it’s been a huge relief for both of us.

Here’s where things get complicated. My sister (29F) also has student loans—about $50k. She found out about what I did for my wife and asked if I’d consider helping her out, too. While I love my sister, I don’t feel the same responsibility to pay her debt.

She’s always been more casual about her finances, taking trips and buying expensive things despite having loans. I told her I can’t help her right now, as I want to save the rest of the windfall for our future (house, kids, emergencies, etc.).

Now, she’s upset and saying I’m playing favorites, especially since we grew up in a family where “we help each other out.” My parents are also weighing in, saying I could at least pay part of her loans to keep the peace. I feel like I’ve been fair—this money is about securing my future with my wife.

My sister isn’t entitled to it just because we’re related. But now I’m second-guessing myself. So, AITA for paying off my wife’s loans but not helping my sister?

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

TarzanKitty −  NTA Yes, you are playing favorites. Your wife is your favorite. It was right there in the wedding vows. Your wife is your nuclear family and the person you are building a life and a retirement with.

colicinogenic −  NTA you should play favorites and your wife should win. You aren’t responsible for any family except the one you create (wife and kids). That money is for your family’s future end of story

becauseofblue −  NTA, Your wife and you are financial partners, it only makes sense that you would pay off her debts as well. Your sister and you are not.

tedsangria −  NTA – maybe mom and dad can chip in to “keep the peace”

RoughZealousideal843 −  How many times do you plan to post this? Edit lol just realized you swapped sister and wife around this time For those reading, last time it was the sisters loans they paid off and he practically told his wife to f**k off. Evidently the OG sister helped raise him and he felt indebted.

Contribution4afriend −  Troll. Karma farmer. This same post is being posted almost every day. Same story.

CelebrationNext3003 −  NTA you are building your own family her loans are not your responsibility

DrPablisimo −  Playing favorites? It sounds like your sister has a lot of nerve. It’s great if a sibling helps pay off a student loan. If I were a multi-millionaire, I might help some relatives with debt. But your wife, not your sister, is your immediate family.

If your sister is single, you could suggest when she marry, maybe her husband could pay off her loans, also. You learned a lesson. You may have to be tight-lipped about your immediate family’s finances.

MikeReddit74 −  Even *without* checking your post history, I can tell this is fake. Any time any variation of “family helps family” or “to keep the peace” appear in a post, I automatically call b**lshit. Get your chatbot some new material.

BrownDogEmoji −  NTA. It’s your money and securing your future as a couple by paying off debt is responsible and sensible. You don’t owe your sister anything, but if “life changing money” is in the millions, then paying off her debt isn’t too isn’t that much of a stretch for you. If it’s less than a million, then you’re going to need every penny for the future.

Should financial windfalls come with an obligation to help family, or is it fair to prioritize one’s immediate household? Is the user wrong for focusing on his wife and future plans, or should he have supported his sister too? Share your perspectives below!