AITA for ordering meals for my children when we go out with friends?
Every family has its traditions, even when it comes to dining out. For one couple, the long-standing routine of bringing home takeout for their kids has never been an issue—until now.
While they’ve always ordered separate checks and made sure the extra food didn’t inconvenience anyone, a newly added couple in their friend group found the practice “trashy” and embarrassing. The resulting tension has left the original couple questioning if their routine is inconsiderate or if this is just a case of overly sensitive newcomers.
‘AITA for ordering meals for my children when we go out with friends?
Expert Analysis:
What’s the Big Deal?
From an etiquette perspective, ordering takeout at the end of a meal isn’t inherently rude—especially if it’s done quickly and paid for separately. According to culinary etiquette expert Maggie Oldham, “as long as the extra order doesn’t delay the group or cause confusion with the bill, it’s generally acceptable.”
The issue here seems less about timing and more about personal preference. The new couple’s reaction likely stems from differing cultural or social expectations rather than any actual breach of etiquette.
Why Do People Take Issue With Small Things?
Social psychologists suggest that newcomers in established groups may feel insecure or overly sensitive to differences in group behavior. Dr. Susan Heitler, a clinical psychologist, explains that “when joining a new social circle, people often seek a sense of control and may overreact to small differences as a way to assert their place.”
In this case, the new couple’s discomfort might have less to do with the takeout and more to do with adjusting to the group’s existing dynamic.
Can Long-Standing Habits Stay Sacred?
Every social group develops its own norms over time. If the original couples have always had this routine, changing it because of one dissenting pair can feel unfair. Sociologist Dr. William S. Hamblin notes that “long-standing group traditions help maintain stability and predictability in social interactions.”
By asking the family to stop their established practice, the new couple is challenging a norm that has worked for years. The original couple’s reaction is a natural pushback against altering something that has always been well-received by their friends.
Here’s what Redditors had to say about the situation:
Most users agreed that ordering takeout for the kids was a non-issue and that the newcomers’ complaints were unnecessary. Many questioned why the new couple felt entitled to dictate group behavior and suggested that the original family stick to their tradition.
At the heart of this conflict lies a classic clash between established habits and new perspectives. While it’s always polite to consider others’ feelings, long-standing traditions shouldn’t be dismissed just because one person finds them unusual. As long as the practice isn’t inconveniencing anyone, it’s perfectly reasonable for the original couple to continue ordering takeout for their kids.
What do you think? Should they change their routine to accommodate the newcomers, or stand firm in their established tradition? Let us know in the comments!