AITA for ordering a giant steak against my MIL will, actually eating it and refusing to cover the entire bill?

A woman shared how her mother-in-law criticized her for ordering and eating a large steak at a family dinner, even though she was starving after a busy day. The situation escalated when her MIL demanded that she and her husband cover the entire bill, claiming the meal was excessive and attention-seeking. Now, she’s questioning if she handled the situation poorly. Read the full story below:

‘ AITA for ordering a giant steak against my MIL will, actually eating it and refusing to cover the entire bill?’

I (f27) have been together with my husband Nate for over 10 years and married for 4. I don’t have the best relationship with my MIL as she always seem to police what I eat. Everyone in my family have fast metabolism, I am also working with horses so due to this burn a lot of calories (talking about 2.5-3k a day) and usually have rather large meals to get the energy back and I still remain skinny.

Now to the event. My in-laws invited me and Nate for dinner last Friday. I was very busy back then and haven’t eaten since about 6-7am and also didn’t have a chance to have a snack before heading to the restaurant so I was starving (I usually have something to eat before seeing my MIL to avoid her comments).

Due to this I have ordered a large steak at the restaurant which was meant for 2 people, it also came with prawns, bacon and 2 sides. Please note it was not the most expensive item on the menu as some of my in laws had significantly pricier dishes and we were all splitting the bill anyway.

My MIL started making comments how I shouldn’t be ordering what I can’t eat since even her husband wouldn’t be able to finish the dish, let alone someone my size. I smiled and said I haven’t eaten since early morning and am starving, if I don’t finish the steak I will take the leftovers home. I have easily finished the steak and was waiting for my dessert, when my MIL flipped.

She said I am attention seeking and was putting on a show, she also said I have made my FIL and BIL feel uneasy and that a woman shouldn’t eat that much, it is unhealthy and something is wrong with me. She has then demanded me and Nate to cover the entire bill as she wasn’t planning on “such a big expenditure”.

I said we are absolutely not covering the entire bill since it was meant to be split equally and reminded her of the dishes she ordered, that were significantly more expensive compared to my steak (including her starter).

As a result I was called an a**hole who has ruined a family dinner. Nate is on my side but most of my in-laws are making very passive aggressive posts on social media about it and keep sending me different articles of “what might cause excessive eating”.

Check out how the community responded:

JoeyShabadoo79 −  NTA. I hope you stared your MIL dead straight in the eyes as you took the last bite of your steak.

Kris82868 −  NTA. MIL needs to chill out and mind her own business. May I ask why you even pondered if this makes you the a**hole??

[Reddit User] −  NTA. Girl, eat whatever you want.

ImNiceOccasionally −  NTA put some distance between you and these people. Youll be better off. You didnt do a damn thing wrong. I sincerely hope that steak was delicious

PsychologicalBit5422 −  NTA. Eat what you need and want. My Mil only eats about 2 things at restaurants. I was expected to follow the family food thing and only order certain things to keep her happy. Nope, I’m sorry but I eat this and this especially if I’m paying.

Narrow-Initiative-80 −  You know what causes excessive eating? Hunger. Honestly, I wouldn’t go to dinner with someone who wants to police my food and wants me to order less food so I’d get stuck subsidizing their expensive dishes. In fact, I’d ask for separate checks and let them pay for their expensive dishes on their own and then not go again…with any of the passive aggressive in laws. NTA

vaimeeee −  NTA what u eat is your choice, I always find this spliting equally bill very unhelpfull, it is often source of resentments, so better if everyone payed for their meal, that would avoid others policing who orders what and how expancive.

Texmaryfornia −  Your husband needs to grow some nuts and tell his mother off. No way my mom would be talking to my wife like that

Crafty-Gardener −  What kind of monster orders food they are paying for and going to eat. NTA your MIL is being ridiculous and sounds like the menfolk need therapy if they are triggered by a woman with an appetite.

My nephew who is as thin as a rake can pack away some serious food. When he was around 7 I watched him eat a Sunday roast bigger than my dads (6’3 200+lbs), ask for extra mash potatoes and then still have room to devour pudding. Some people can just eat and not put on weight. Me I only have to look at a cake and pile on the pounds.

No_Tumbleweed_7240 −  NTA – anyone policing what you eat in that manner is incorrect. You are a grown adult that can make her own decision and don’t need the input of other people. It seems like your calorie intake from what you describe is NECESSARY for the work you do. Being a former horseback riding instructor/show rider I know how exhausting that can be.

So not only is this rude but also shows a clear lack of ignorance in your field of work. It seems like you already know the answer to your post but NTA at all. If I were to guess it almost seems like the MIL is used to traditional values where the woman cant eat more than the man because thats unwomanly, and that is such a load of bull.

Probably makes her feel insecure second hand and thats why she has this reaction. Almost like a “why can she do that but I can’t?!” Totally my own interpretation and I could be wrong but thats just what I think. God speed and good luck out there! 🐎

Was the woman wrong for eating a large meal that suited her needs, or is her MIL overstepping by making demands and comments about her eating habits? Share your thoughts and let us know who you think is in the wrong!