AITA for offering my daughter money for Christmas, and now she’s mad at me?
A Reddit user (34) is facing tension with their daughter after offering her money for Christmas instead of selecting a gift for her. The user had discussed skipping presents for themselves, and because the daughter lives far away with a postal strike complicating shipping, the user suggested that she pick something out herself and they would pay for it.
One daughter was fine with this, but the other became upset and is no longer speaking to them. The user is now questioning whether their offer was reasonable or if they overstepped.
‘ My Daughter is mad at me?’
So, here’s the situation. I’m 34 and my daughter is mad at me because I suggested giving her money for Christmas this year. We’ve been talking about presents, and she’s single, living far away, and not coming home for the holidays.
There’s also been a postal strike here in Canada, so I didn’t think sending physical gifts through the mail was a good idea. When we were discussing gifts, I told her that there would be no presents for us—her parents—this year, and she was fine with it.
But then, when my other daughter came to visit her, I asked them to go shopping, pick something they liked, and I’d pay for it. That’s when everything went south. My one daughter completely lost it. She was furious that I would ask her to pick her own presents and isn’t speaking to me now.
The other daughter, on the other hand, was totally fine with it, and we’re fine.I feel like she’s overreacting, but I did try to make it right by finding a store that offers courier delivery and sent her something she might like. I’m worried she might just return it, though. So, AITA for offering my daughter money for Christmas and now having her upset with me?
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
FarlerFive − NTA Your daughter is being a b**t. Your other daughter picked something out & you paid for it. That’s exactly what you’re doing with the b**t daughter.
Bitbatgaming − NTA, also being affected by the post strike here, it does remove a big aspect of Christmas and I don’t see how you had any other choice. You’re doing the best you can for Christmas and that’s what matters.
FarmhouseRules − NTA. She should be thankful she’s getting a gift at all. Most people in the world aren’t quite as fortunate.
StarmooonRadiance_22 − Looks like someone is on Santa’s naughty list this year. Maybe she’s just upset that she didn’t get to experience the joy of fighting through crowded malls and wrapping presents in a frenzy. You’re not alone, my friend.
allouthustle − I’ve been there. My kid was upset over a similar situation. Communication helped us understand each other better. Maybe try talking it out with her, focusing on feelings rather than gifts.
These-Record8595 − So she doesn’t understand the ‘get what you like and I’ll pay for it’ concept?! Just give her a Starbucks gift card
Wrong_Moose_9763 − It’s hard to follow this, which daughter is upset?
MD7001 − NTA. First off at this age I find gift giving kinda ridiculous. Most gifts are either not needed or not used. Your daughter is acting like a spoiled child
kaedemi011 − NTA. Your daughter is acting spoiled, entitled and a b**t… at that age, she should be thankful that she’s even getting a present… also… it’s much more ideal to buy something you will use than getting something you won’t even like…
RandomReddit9791 − NTA. Your daughter sounds entitled and self centered. She’s an adult for goodness sake. Don’t get her anything st this point.
Do you think the user was in the wrong for offering money instead of a traditional gift, or is the daughter overreacting? How would you handle a situation like this with your family? Share your thoughts and advice below!