AITA for not watering my wife’s plants?

A Redditor shares a dilemma about refusing to water his wife’s plants while she’s away on vacation. Despite being asked to take care of them, he objects on moral grounds, citing her neglect of the plants and his unwillingness to participate in what he feels is “plant torture.”

His wife views it as an easy favor, but he’s conflicted. Read the full story below to decide if the Redditor’s stance is justified or if he’s overreacting.

‘ AITA for not watering my wife’s plants?’

Me (42M) and my wife (41F) have been married 3 years. My wife has many good qualities, but she is quite disorganised and more than a little lazy. She ‘loves’ gardening but I think it’s more that she likes the idea of gardening because she is terrible at it; she is the Saddam Hussein of plants.

She not only has a poor idea of how to garden (what plants need what kind of care etc) but mostly because she is so lazy, her plants die from n**lect. The amount of care needed to keep her plants alive is probably no more than 5-10 mins a day, but she can’t even manage that.

Her position is that it makes her happy and it doesn’t really affect me so what do I care, and my position is that it’s slightly psychopathic to claim to love plants but not put in even a very modest amount of effort to keep said plants alive. It doesn’t make sense to me.

Our compromise on this is that we just agree to disagree. I turn a blind eye to her wanton plant torture/m**der so long as I don’t have to participate, and she goes on happily throttling mother nature to d**th in the backyard. Our problem is that my wife is going on vacation for 3 weeks and now wants me to water her plants.

I can do this very easily (so could anyone) but I have a moral objection: I don’t want to be involved her cottage industry of d**th. To me, I’ll be participating in keeping these tortured souls alive, maybe even giving them hope of a better life, only to have it dashed when she returns in 3 weeks to resume her reign of t**ror.

My wife is claiming I’m being dramatic (I am) but I don’t think I’m wrong, so we’ve decided to ask reddit and will abide by the crowd’s decision. AITA for not wanting to water her plants?

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Anxious-Marketing525 −  Info: Why are you married to someone you appear to dislike?  Married people who want to stay married do small nice things for each other.

BugGlad5248 −  Do her a favour and install some irrigation while she’s away. You could literally make her sooooo happy and have a productive garden. I mean that’s what I would do if I loved my wife. I wouldn’t make her feel worse about the things she loves

Worth-Season3645 −  YTA…It’s watering plants. Maybe show her how plants can thrive on well tended care. (Edit…I meant for husband to water plants and when wife gets back, she can see what they should look like.

But I do not think it is that big of an ask from your spouse. How hard is it to water the plants once a week? They may disagree on the plants themselves, but overall, spouses do things for each other).

DingleDongleDoongle −  I’m dying this is such a hilarious post. Saddam Hussein of plants 😭😭😭😂😂😂. YTA if you don’t care for them, but also NTA for not wanting to give the poor things whiplash. 

No_Entertainer6644 −  This is hilarious. But dude come on, water the plants. A small gesture in the grand scheme of things if you love your wife and want to make her happy. Im with the comment of seeing if you can automate the watering in some way.

Mammoth-Corner −  YTA. You’re mad she doesn’t look after them, and then you’re mad that she’s trying to look after them by making sure they won’t dry out over three weeks?

RuthlessBenedict −  YTA. All these people claiming this is so funny must also dislike their partners because that’s all I get from this- you think she’s lazy, you don’t agree with something that has  f**k all to do with you in the most dramatic way,

it costs you minutes (if that) to do one small nice thing (which very likely could put a stop to the thing you hate btw) that would make her happy and yet this is the stand you want to make. Let us know how that works out for you. Seriously.

I’m a gardner and nearly all of us killed a load of plants in our early days and many of us still do. It’s not that deep, but what is messed up is this ridiculous stance of being cruel to your partner for no reason. I hope you don’t need her help in the future. 

Sweet_Discussion_674 −  YTA. How much time does it honestly take? If this is the worst you two have to argue about, to the point where you need to ask Reddit, you must get along well. Does your wife happen to have ADHD? (Not saying it as an excuse, but maybe a reason that makes things a little harder than it would be for the average person.)

stmarystmike −  Hey man. My wife started raspberry bushes in the back yard. I told her do whatever you want but I don’t want to be involved with maintenance. I already take care of our i**ot cats and we have a kid and the nature of my job means I have the flexibility to do most of house work. So I didn’t want anything added to my plate.

You know what I do in the summer when she goes on work trips? Water the dang plants. Because she asked me to. I don’t touch them when she’s here, but if she shoots me a text “hey do you mind spraying the bushes?” I do it.

I’m gonna call you nta, because it is stupid that your wife won’t water them when she’s here but wants you to water them now. But like, they’re plants my guy. Just water them for you wife

aBun9876 −  YTA.. Just water the plants.. You must be a difficult person.

Do you think the Redditor was justified in refusing to water the plants, or should he have just done it to help out his wife? How would you handle a situation where a partner’s hobbies clash with your values or comfort? Share your thoughts in the comments below!