AITA for not wanting to hide that my moms are gay to my girlfriend’s parents?

A Redditor (17M) is facing conflict with his girlfriend over her request to hide that he has two moms when introducing them to her parents. While the user is proud of his family and doesn’t see why it should be a problem, his girlfriend insists it would make her parents uncomfortable and asks him to bring only one mom to their dinner. The user feels this is disrespectful and unfair, but his girlfriend and even some friends think he should comply to avoid awkwardness. Is he wrong for refusing to hide his family dynamic? Read the full story below.

‘ AITA for not wanting to hide that my moms are gay to my girlfriend’s parents?’

The article has the next update at the end.

I’m 17 and started going out with my girlfriend 7 months ago. We were already chatting before school went online and I asked asked her out after. So her parents wants to meet mines when it’s safe to do that and have dinner at their house. I’m cool with that and my moms are too.

But girlfriend told me that her parents don’t know I have 2 moms and she don’t want them to because they’re not raging homophobes but they don’t like that. She just says it will make them feel weird and uncomfortable and asked if only one of my moms could go.

Idk I just don’t see why I gotta lie. If we stayed together obviously they will find out and also that would be mean to ask my moms if one of them not go. I never been embarrassed about it or weird so don’t see why it even matters.

My girlfriend has been pissed at me ever since and she just tells me to do it so it’s not uncomfortable for her parents. Even my friends r saying it’s not a big deal and it’s not like I’ll get grounded for asking my moms to do this. I’m caught in the middle here cause I don’t wanna lie about my moms or exclude one them but everyone is acting like I’m being the ass for not doing this thing.

Next update: https://aita.pics/XSlIG

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

kdsexologist −  NTA and I think you should consider whether this girl really values you if she wants you to hide your family. She’s concerned about how her parents would feel, but she doesn’t seem to mind hurting yours.
Your parents may not ground you for asking, but they are likely to be hurt. It doesn’t sound like that’s something you want.

bitternerdette −  NTA. The embarrassment your gf is fearing now will be 1000% more when they find out you lied about it. From her parent side, you lied about something major, and arent now trustworthy. From your parents side, annoyance to the gf about her wanting you to lie.

From her parents, anger that your gf pulled this s**t. From your parents, sadness because you went along with it, they’ll be asking if you are ashamed of them. Thats a whole bunch of crazy that can be avoided.

shebanat −  NTA. Your girlfriend seems to have an issue with your moms. What if you two have kids and one of them is queer? Would you need to hide that from her parents too? This is your family and if she and her family can’t accept that then she’s not the one for you.

ChemicalParfait −  NTA. My mom is gay and the second my partner asked if one one of my moms could attend a dinner that would have been the end of the relationship. That’s never, ever, going to be okay with me.
She has shown you where she stands on this. In you can talk to her but honestly it is unlikely to change in my experience.

No-Long5784 −  NTA. This a very telling situation of some of your girlfriends values. There’s no spectrum of homophobia, either you are, or you’re not. Saying they’re not “raging” is her way of trying to say they don’t condone it, point blank. Your girlfriend is asking you to deny your family and deny part of who you are.

Anyone that does that does not deserve your time, at least in my opinion. This is a time for you to decide if this is someone you want to continue to have in your life.Think about this, if you were to get married, would she ask one of your moms to not attend to make her family comfortable?

[Reddit User] −  NTA. Your girlfriend is h**ophobic, full stop. She’s clearly uncomfortable and projecting that onto her parents– or, they actually are “raging homophobes” and they’ve passed that on to her. You are not the a**hole and you are right to stand up for your family. If she can’t deal, she can gift.

PinkedOff −  NTA, but your gf and other friends certainly are.

happylittleclouds4 −  Oh hey, it’s my time to shine! I am an 80’s baby who had two Moms growing up (and I still do, although I am not currently growing up just growing old). Having two moms back in the day was super unusual, odd, irregular and some might have even said extremely weird.

I was terrified of people finding out and treating me differently. Obviously when I was little, I had less of an idea that my family made some other families really uncomfortable, so my friends & classmates from young childhood knew about my moms. By middle school though, I would go to great pains to conceal the truth- even so far as lying, begging my parents to lie, and not inviting them to functions where I thought people would see them together.

Suffice to say I have great guilt over this, and even though it was a different time in our culture it was still cruel to treat my parents like they were ruining my life. I learned the hard way that if you’re getting red flags that someone might not be accepting of your family, it’s for good reason.

I’m grateful that I have my amazing parents in my life, and equally grateful that I no longer accept anyone who finds them “weird” or has a single mean word to say about my family unit. Don’t allow anyone in your life who you can’t be yourself around- period.. NTA.

DecodingSerenity −  she don’t want them to because they’re not raging homophobes but they don’t like that. She just says it will make them feel weird and uncomfortable. Sounds like your girlfriend is the homophobe here. NTA. Also, rethink the relationship please.

photosbeersandteach −  NTA. This is a huge red flag. Why is it okay for your parents to feel uncomfortable or disrespected, but not her parents? Especially since her parents are the one’s who are in the wrong. You should never have to hide a fundamental part of your family identity (race, gender, s**ual orientation) if you don’t want to.