AITA for not wanting my son to literally be named “John Doe?”
A Redditor, whose last name is Doe, shares a disagreement with their pregnant wife over naming their future son after her late grandfather, John. The user believes naming their son “John Doe” would lead to significant problems in the future, while the wife sees it as a meaningful tribute. Read the full story below…
‘ AITA for not wanting my son to literally be named “John Doe?”‘
So my last name is Doe. It hasn’t affected my life much apart from occasionally being called “Dodo” while growing up or friends spelling it “D’Oh” as a joke, and I’m generally pretty neutral about it.
My wife is six months pregnant and wants to name our future son after her grandfather, who died of cancer in September. His name was John.
I liked her grandfather, and I know he and my wife were very close, but I won’t even consider it, not even for our son’s middle name.
I feel that’s just setting him up a world of problems, especially when he grows up and has to apply for jobs. Nobody’s going to believe “John Doe” is his real name. My wife thinks I’m being an a**hole for vetoing a name with a strong family connection and says I’m exaggerating the issues he would face. AITA?
Here’s the comments of Reddit users:
shakeywasher − Nta. I think it’s pretty important that you don’t actually! (EDIT 2: IF I GET ONE MORE COMMENT XXX IS THE IRISH FOR JOHN ILL BE RATHER ANNOYED… IT SEEMS THERES LOTS OF VARIANTS OF JOHN – TO QUOTE GOOGLE
“Eoin (Irish pronunciation: [ˈjoːɲ], sometimes spelled Eóin, or Eoinn) is an Irish name. … In the Irish language, it is the name used for all Biblical figures known as John in English, including John the Baptist and John the Apostle.)
Edit 3: lots of people are quoting different “Irish John’s… As above.. I’m aware. As above, searched the name verified online it’s used for the biblical version of John … Now back to… With regards to John Doe. People will think it’s a faux / fake name.
It’s going to cause him major problems with passports and ID as well as job and college applications. He may have issues with medical stuff etc as .. well you know exactly what it’s used for. This could seriously f**k up his life
I think even a middle name or Jonathan would be problematic and I’d avoid all names that begin with a J. Having worked in an official public sector job for a long time… I’ve seen problems with people’s names like these cause major issues that would make your hair curl.
As an example only: Look for other languages version of John for example Eoin is the Irish way of spelling Owen. Eoin in itself is the Irish version of John… Edit; guys this isn’t the perfect solution name wise but an idea to run with….
KnowTheDifference − NTA. Naming your kid John Doe is a stupid f**king idea. He’d share a name with unidentified male corpses.. Maybe grandpa had a middle name?
jasminel96 − NAH. That child will have that name for a lifetime. Don’t make a baby’s life difficult from the start by naming him that. Suggest that you name him after the grandfather’s middle name. I get why your wife wants to recognize her grandfather but she has to know how much trouble this will cause in the future.
strawberry − **John Doe is literally the name given to every unidentifiable male m**der victim.** That’s not the name you want to burden your child with.
bitchy_badger − NTA – please don’t subject a child to this. Honor the family member with a middle name
not_cinderella − NAH. I don’t think she’s an AH but she’s not thinking rationally. God forbid, if when he’s older, he gets in an accident & needs to be identified & his name is literally John Doe. How tough would that make things?
ramsey5349 − Name him Dill. Thanks for the Platinum/Silver kind redditors! I’ll be here all week. Try the veal.
[Reddit User] − NTA. You absolutely shouldn’t name your kid John Doe. But why all you people have to look at the world in black and white?. Other options for names: 1. Have your son use your wife’s last name. (It’s not the Middle Ages anymore)
2. Name your son’s first name after grandad’s last name: Grandad is George Parker, name your kid Parker Doe. 3. Middle name is John. Nobody really cares about middle names and most of the time he can use an initial. 4. Name son after a hobby or interest of Grandad’s. If he liked hunting, name the kid Hunter.
Ladylochnessa − NTA I have a friend who’s name John Doe. It’s caused him a world of trouble growing and even worse now as an adult. He almost got arrested once when a police officer asked him for his name after a serious accident and he didnt have identification on him. He also mentioned that he doesnt get interviews as often as his twin with a normal name.
ScienceNotKids − NAH. I do think John Doe would be problematic but also get why she wants the name. I assume she took your last name so the child can’t have hers or a hyphenated one? I do think you could compromise on the middle name. No one shortens those so Something Johnathan Doe wouldn’t raise a lot of flags.
Is the Redditor right to worry about potential challenges for their son, or does the significance of honoring a beloved family member outweigh those concerns? Share your thoughts and opinions below!