AITA for not telling my girlfriend that my parents are gay?

A Reddit user shared a situation involving his parents and his girlfriend. His parents, both men, have been together for years, and he’s always been close with both of them. When his girlfriend came over to meet them, she was surprised to find out that his parents are gay. After a brief conversation, she was uncomfortable, and she and her parents left. The Reddit user wonders if he should have told her about his parents’ relationship earlier. Was he wrong for not mentioning it? Read the full story below…

‘ AITA for not telling my girlfriend that my parents are gay?’

I’m 25M, i have two parents. My birth dad (John) who’s 48M and my other dad Dwayne who’s 45M. I call my birth dad John, “Dad”. And I call my other dad Dwayne, “Pops”. My birth dad John was married to my mom for a few years, then she left my dad and yeah. They ended up divorcing and now she’s somewhere in California, idk where or what she’s doing. Haven’t talked to her in ages.

So dad, and pops i’m super close with. They are the best parents any child could ask for. I love both of them and they’ve always been with me. My dad introduced me to pops when i was a little boy and they had told me they were in a relationship (and i was all for it because i had saw my dad become lonely/sad when he was single) so seeing the fact that my dad loves someone and has a life partner made me super happy.

Pops & Dad got married, and we’ve been living an amazing life. I’m probably more to close to Pops then my own dad haha. Due to the fact that Pops is really cool and he’s laid back. I love both of them equally and they love me as well, and i’m blessed to have them as parents.

For a few months i’ve been dating this girl bella who’s my age. I thought she’s pretty cute and i liked her. So we kicked it and recently she told me “My parents want to meet your parents and want to come over for dinner” I said sure. I’ll tell my family.

So yesterday, Friday night. Bella comes in. Pops greets her and says “Come on in sweetheart, dinner is ready”. She says “You must be \_\_\_\_ dad so good to meet you” and she shakes his hand and she sees Dad come out of the kitchen “He’s holding the mac n cheese tray” with the mittens and is putting it on the table.

Then bella says “Who’s he?” i said, “Oh that’s my dad”. She said “I though he’s your dad” she’s referring to Pops. I say yeah. That’s my pops? And that’s my dad? She pulls me to the side and says “I didn’t know your parents are gay? Oh my god? why didn’t you tell me?”

I genuinely didn’t know why, that’d be an issue or so. Because your dating me, not my parents and all. So it shouldn’t matter. But i guess it’s a concern for her. Her parents come at the door after they parked the car and bella tells her parents “let’s leave” and they left. I told my parents i’m sorry and they said “son don’t worry this is nothing new haha” and then we all sat down and enjoyed dinner and went to sleep.. So AITA for not telling?

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Djorgal −  NTA, did she ever tell you her parents are straight?

lonelyspren −  NTA. But perhaps naive. Unfortunately it’s probably better to let a girlfriend know you have two dads so you can weed out the homophobes BEFORE you accidentally bring them home for dinner.

pineboxwaiting −  INFO: You’ve dated this girl for months. How has the subject of parents never come up? After my parents divorced, Dad met Pops & Pops raised me as his own. Seriously, what did you two talk about?

[Reddit User] −  NTA, although I’m surprised this hasn’t come up in conversation with her in the past few months. Discussion of family (parents, siblings) is fairly common in early dating.

WoolaCalot −  NTA. But… While this is definitely not a situation that warrants an “Oh my god, why didn’t you tell me?” reaction with her showing her ass and leaving (disgusting, I hope you’ve ended things with her). I’m a little confused how you guys were at the point in y’all’s relationship where parents meeting parents is happening yet you haven’t had enough conversation about your lives, etc. that would allow your gf to at least connect the dots re: your parents.

Is it vital information that you owe a significant other? Absolutely not. Families obviously come in endless compositions. You should never have to slap a disclaimer on anyone’s sexuality, jeez. But parents meeting parents is usually a sign that you’re at least *entering* a pretty serious stage in your relationship, and for that to have never come up in any way is kinda wild.

Then again, your gf sounds kind of obtuse anyways… maybe you’ve mentioned things like “I’m going with Dad and Pops to the store” before and she just thought you were talking about your dad and grandpa or something… IDK. Definitely NTA though.

LtDan281 −  NTA. The only part that I found confusing about your story is that you’re referring to her as your girlfriend, and not as an ex.. Eff homophobia.

madelinegumbo −  ESH. Obviously you dodged a h**ophobic bullet here, but you should consider “prescreening” this information so your parents don’t have to deal with unnecessary bigotry. Just tell women ahead of time and if they object then you don’t bring them home. It’s the considerate thing to do for your parents.

Riyokosan −  NTA but I find it strange you never talked about them on front of her… Don’t you usually say a few things abbout your parents before the meeting like xx likes this and you should avoid that, while yy loves this and dislike that?

NidorinoBeano −  INFO you never told her your parents names? Ok.

melonlady13 −  This reads as very fake. If it’s somehow real, you gotta work on making it sound less like a bedtime story.

Do you think the user should have told his girlfriend about his parents’ relationship before introducing them, or was it unnecessary for her to know? How would you handle this situation in a new relationship? Share your thoughts below!