AITA for not telling my Dad he isn’t getting the inheritance he’s expecting?

A Reddit user shared a dilemma involving their father’s expectation of a large inheritance from the user’s grandparents. The father, confident about this future windfall, has neglected saving for retirement, only to be unaware that most of the estate will actually go to the user instead. Despite feeling guilty, the user promised their grandparents not to share this information. Read the full story below to decide if you think they should break the news.

‘ AITA for not telling my Dad he isn’t getting the inheritance he’s expecting?’

My mother died when I was 16. My dad married another woman two years later.

My grandparents, my dad’s parents, HATE my stepmother. I really don’t like her either.

Even after my half-siblings were born, my grandparents never warmed up to her.

My grandparents are quite wealthy. My father has been banking on this inheritance for a while. He has even been not paying into his retirement because he’s so sure that he will inherit the millions.

I just found out on Saturday that I’m getting the majority of my grandparents estate. My father is getting a token amount of $50000 so he can’t dispute it.

My grandparents made me promise not to give out any money after and I intend to keep my word.

But I do feel really guilty that my father just spends his money as it’s coming in because he’s relying on money he won’t get.

I also found out my dad is in a lot of debt.. AITA for not telling him?

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

andromache97 −  NTA. Your grandparents should be honest with your dad. By not telling him, they are setting you up for a LOT of drama after they die, and that’s not fair to you. Your dad shouldn’t be spending recklessly and counting on inheritance money to come in and fix everything. That’s ridiculously irresponsible. Everyone in this situation is an a**hole other than you.

medsizedtoberlerone −  NTA: But you should talk to your grandparents and *make sure they tell him before they pass and while they’re still in the right minds*. Maybe even have an attorney present.
If he’s as irresponsible as you say he is, then he will likely try to sue you for money when they pass. Families have been torn apart over sums totaling much less.. Please protect yourself here.

crushedcayenne −  If your grandparents aren’t giving your father a heads up, so he can plan better, they are the AH. They don’t have to say you’re getting most of it, but even saying “fyi we have plans for most of our estate. Don’t expect much.” Especially when children (even adult children) are involved, he and they might think their college fund or house downpayments might come from the inheritance. It’s fair they know what’s up.

purplesez −  NTA. Your grandparents know what’s up – it probably has a bit to do with the stepmother, but most likely your grandparents know what your dad’s like with money and they don’t want their hard earned and saved cash going to someone who will throw it away on dumb s**t and be broke again in no time. Your father’s irresponsibility is not your responsibility in this instance.

iconoclast63 −  NTA. But your grandparents are kind of cruel for letting him keep digging a deeper and deeper hole all the while knowing what he expects. They should go ahead and tell him so he can plan accordingly.

RememberKoomValley −  NTA. It’s not \*your\* fight, the argument that would happen the minute you told him, and frankly if he’s being so casual about his future I’m not sure he’d be safe to tell. Take him as an object lesson, though–work hard to ensure you have a safe future, ’cause nothing is certain.

Foxxma −  I think the anti-entitlement sentiment goes too far on this subreddit sometimes. Why exactly shouldn’t you expect an inheritance from your parents when they pass (assuming there is anything to inherit)? It seems a**hole-ish to me to give the money to anyone/anything other than your kids, or at the very least– your family, unless they’re already wealthy and wouldn’t benefit from it…

Change my mind. Granted, they *are* keeping it in the family but in this case, it sounds like the only thing their son did to p**s them off was marry someone they don’t approve of. Without further details explaining why they disapprove, that just isn’t fair/justifiable.

Ultimately, they’re free to give their estate to anyone they want, whether that makes them assholes or not. But they should at least tell him he’s not going to be the one receiving it so he can KNOW he needs to fix his current destructive financial habits. And if they’re not going to, you probably should. Why leave your father in the dark just to avoid drama?. **ESH:**

\- Your grandparents s**k for withholding money from their child and not telling him.
\- Your father sucks for making poor financial decisions in the assumption that it won’t matter when his parents die.
\- You s**k if you don’t tell your father the truth (if you conclude that your grandparents will not tell him themselves).

PugRexia −  NTA. I’d ask your grandpa to break the news to your dad since otherwise you’ll be left with the fallout. Very unfortunate situation.

OsirisReign −  All these NTAs are banking on principle (it’s not your responsibility to tell him), but in the real f**king world, if you do care about your dad you should let him know. ESH.

whynotbothey −  YTA.. … He’s your dad… You’d rather see his life ruined than just tell him once and for all? Oh my f**king god, some people here don’t know what family is. Holy f**k.