AITA for not telling my boyfriend i could understand his language this whole time?
A Redditor explains how they’ve been in a two-year relationship with their boyfriend, who speaks French with his friends. The user has always understood the language but kept it a secret due to insecurity about speaking it.
However, the situation took a turn when they overheard their boyfriend confessing to cheating during a phone conversation in French. When confronted, the boyfriend was more upset about the language issue than his infidelity. The user is left questioning whether they’re at fault for not revealing their language skills earlier. Read the full story below.
‘ AITA for not telling my boyfriend i could understand his language this whole time?’
I (18F), have been with my boyfriend (19M) for 2 years now. This all started when we first met 3 years ago. I was new at our high school and he introduced me to his friend group, which had mostly french speakers.
I’ve never been confident with my french speaking due to insecurity about my accent, but i can understand the language perfectly, I was just too embarrassed to let them know because I was scared they’d ask me to try speak french with them.
I got really close with the friend group, and my boyfriend and I got together after one year of speaking. My not speaking french had never been a problem because he would speak english around me and always made sure his friends did the same, and it went on for so long than I just didn’t have the heart to tell him that I could understand them anyways.
The problem started in uni. We both got a house off campus together, but my boyfriend was always coming back really late. I had convinced myself that he was probably occupied with uni stuff but the other night I overheard him talking on the phone to one of his french friends about how he’d hooked up with 3 different girls at the same time and I was completely baffled.
I confronted him, but instead of being apologetic, he got mad that i could actually understand what he was saying. I tried to come up with an excuse and say i managed to pick up the language after all the time we’ve been together but he doesn’t believe me since he never speaks french around me and he said he can’t trust me anymore.
He’s staying at a friends house right now and I don’t know if i’m at fault here for not telling him i understand french or if the real problem is him cheating… AITAH, and if yes, what do i do?.
Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:
BungCrosby − He’s absolutely double fucked. Not only was he f**king cheating on you, but he was flaunting doing so **in front of** you in a language he didn’t know you understood.. You are NTA.
Flirty_katrina − It’s so unfair that he’s trying to twist this to make it your fault. You deserve way better than that kind of treatment.
Hottie_HollyBaby − girl. He’s trying to deflect from his cheating by making it about your French skills. Don’t fall for it! You deserve someone who’s honest and faithful, not someone who blames you for their own mistakes
Flangian − oh no he cant trust you after he accidently admitted to cheating, you are an awful person for catching him out 🤣🤣 YWBTA to yourself if you even think of blaming yourself for anything in this situation.
Vikashar − He’s g**lighting you! He has no room to speak of trust when he cheated.
rottywell − NTA, Your boyfriend is using a m**ipulative tool called DARVO. Be thankful you never let him know and just move on. You are not at fault in anyway. BE VERY THANKFUL YOU FOUND OUT AND DO NOT ENTERTAIN HIM ANYMORE.. Be thankful he left.. “I can’t trust you anymore”
Sir you fucked 3 different women in one night while in a relationship. Thank you for leaving. Do not come back. Moving like a stray mongrel. You know he was bullshitting you, just be thankful he left and don’t entertain any further argument from him. He will likely try to lie to other people about why the relationship ended.
Just ignore them and him. Don’t make him try to argue his way into a relationship with him again. Don’t apologize for not telling him you know french. That isn’t an issue and will never be. He’s just a c**ater
Lambsenglish − Girl you just got gaslit to within an inch of your life. It doesn’t matter how you found out that he hooked up with 3 girls at once, it matters *that* you found out.
Working_Movie2027 − NTA. DARVO is at play here. He’s good at it, and he’s telling you who he is. Believe him.
grsk_iboluna − 💯 f**e
Strangr_E − You’re joking. He cheated and you’re on here asking if you’re the AH?
Do you think the real issue is the Redditor keeping their language skills a secret, or is the boyfriend’s reaction a distraction from the cheating? How would you handle the situation if you were in the user’s shoes? Share your thoughts below!
