AITA for not telling my best friend she smells?

A Reddit user (F25) struggles with whether to address a delicate issue involving their best friend (F24) and her sister (F27), who exhibit poor hygiene during visits. The user values their decade-long friendship but hesitates to confront them, fearing hurt feelings and strained relationships. Read the original story below…

‘ AITA for not telling my best friend she smells? ‘

I (F25), have been friends with my best friend (F24) for 10 years. We always had a beautiful friendship and we have been there for each other. Despite me moving to another country we still managed to become close and every few months we visited each other and after having my first kid it made me realise how much I appreciate her and love her.

Obviously, since I gave birth herself and her sister (F27) – who is also a very close friend of mine, have come to visit me more. Every time they come, we have a blast and they get along with my partner so well. I started noticing how bad their hygiene is.

Every time they took their shoes off, the smells coming out of it was disgusting, they would leave their room a mess and they will never clean up after themselves once they ate. Every time they showered I wouldn’t notice any difference, their hair was still greasy and rotting smells would linger.

I have been thinking to talk with them and let them know about it. But I am not sure how they will react to it as I know they will react very bad. My best friend gets offended very easily and her sister is very sensitive. Am I The A**hole for not telling them they smell?

See what others had to share with OP:

UpdateMeOnBear −  You wouldn’t be the AH but I think there should be a nice approach about the smell, such as creating a conversation related to her wellbeing and once appropriate, say “I am concerned about your hygiene. Is everything ok”? Maybe they have something going on with their lives

lavasca −  NTA. Tell them your sense of smell is still heightened. When they visit you need them to be freshly shampooed, showered (use deodorant) and they need to ziplock their shoes and wear socks.

PlayfulFinger7312 −  This doesn’t solve them being messy, but if they have a rotting smell it’s possible there’s something going on health wise. Certain conditions give of particular odours. I would try to mention it kindly although I appreciate how difficult that must feel.

HottieAngelXo −  NTA. It’s a tough situation, but addressing hygiene is important. If you decide to talk to them, do it gently, coming from a place of care. It might be uncomfortable, but friends should be able to have honest conversations.

Bold-Belle2 −  NTA. My girlfriend is similar in that she has to manually make herself do things (as in, it’s not a habit she grew up with) Telling them gently would work as long as you make it clear that it’s for their sake, not yours. Feeling clean and fresh should enlighten her and make her feel better.

fimbiod −  Suddenly smelling bad, even after a shower is concerning. There can be many factors, as many here has commented. It could also be a medical condition called TMAU. I have it, and it can smell rotten as you described.

Unfortunately there’s no cure for it. I doubt they have it tho, because it often occurs early years, but there’s a chance.. Could also be sibo. I think you should tell them, but be gentle about it because as I said, it could be a condition they can’t do anything about.

EllieLooPoo −  NTA, but it’s tough. Maybe it’s better to bring it up gently, but if you think they’ll react badly, it might be worth waiting for the right moment. You care about them, but it’s tricky.

OtterrWaterr −  If u want to, maybe u can try to indirectly get them to realize it by saying something like,”oh do u smell that? Something stinks… Is that me?” Then smell urself to try to get them to smell themselves.

Successful-Judge-428 −  Girl, tell them. You can’t be suffering IN YOUR OWN HOUSE!! Besides, those are grown ass women who should know proper hygiene.

ShoddyIntrovert32 −  NTA. Telling someone they stink can be very hurtful to some people. Since it’s them and they are used it, they don’t even notice it anymore. So you telling them, they would think you’re purposely being mean to them. It’s a tough situation.

Should the user bring up the hygiene issue with their best friend and her sister, or is it better to let it go to avoid conflict? How would you approach a sensitive topic like this with someone you care deeply about? Share your thoughts below!