AITA for not telling Mum and Step Dad I was saving money?

A 17-year-old girl (17F) has been saving money from her part-time job for three years, mostly to buy necessities like hygiene products, as her mother and stepfather have not provided these. After her younger sister (10F) found the money and told their parents, the mother and stepfather angrily confronted the girl,

accusing her of illegal activities and threatening her with being kicked out when she turns 18. Despite the girl explaining her actions, her stepfather called her a “degenerate” and refused to return the money. The girl has since left to stay with a friend, and she doesn’t blame her sister for the situation.

‘ AITA for not telling Mum and Step Dad I was saving money?’

I (17f) will be 18 in a few days. My dad died when I was 7 and my mum married my step dad a year later. He was never mean to me. He just never bothered about me until my mum had my half sister(10). My mum decided to stay at hom with my sister. would do everything for her.

Buy her things and take her places. I didn’t even get pocket money anymore. At first it hurt so much, especially when the 3 of them went out and they left me with neighbour’s or friends but eventually I stopped caring. When I was 15 I got a part time job that got me out of the house and I hardly saw any of them.

I started buying things I needed including hygiene products because those were limited. I also saved most of my money. I have been saving most of my money for 3 years. My sister came into my room the on Thursday while I wasn’t home. She said she was looking for a charger.

She found the money I had been saving and took it to show it to my mum and her dad. When I got home they blew up at me. They wanted to know where I had gotten so much money and if I was selling drugs. When I tried to explain, they wouldn’t listen to me.

My step dad said that’s why he wants me out when I’m 18 because I’m a degenerate whose going to influence my sister. They wouldn’t give me the money back because they aren’t sure where I got it and if it’s legal. I left to go stay with a friend.

I didn’t even know my step dad wanted me to leave when I turned 18. I don’t blame my sister for any if this. She’s young and doesn’t know any better. She’s not mean to me, she just doesn’t interact with me much. I’m like a roommate she sees every now and then.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

TheSciFiGuy80 −  NTA You are almost an adult. Now is the time to learn how to stand up for yourself because sometimes parents are wrong. Tell them to give you back your money or you will Call the police. Don’t bluff, do it.If they aren’t going to listen you need to force them to listen.

The reason they’re not giving the money back is because it’s free for them to use as they please. And try to get a noncustodial bank account. Some banks offer this to teens 16-17 years old. You’ll need to do some research. I AM TIRED of parents who steal their kids money.

As a parent of four I would never do such a thing no matter my financial state. Edit: it does crack me up that a teen can get a job and pay income taxes and Social Security but they can’t open their own bank account in many places without their parents.

Apart-Ad-6518 −  NTA Your mom is responsible for buying *everything* you need until you’re 18 as a bare minimum. I get people can struggle for money; life is hard in this day & age. I don’t get the sense that’s the case here though. And feminine hygiene products being “limited”/you have to buy your own?

That redefines mean in act & spirit. As does not giving you pocket money until you’re able to work. When I was 15 I got a part time job that got me out of the house and I hardly saw any of them. I have been saving most of my money for 3 years. Unless they literally *didn’t know* you had a part job they’re a disgrace.

And for not listening to you. They stole your hard earned money. As a parent, I am **appalled**. Seek legal redress via the police if you can. Your mom put your stepsister & sad excuse for a husband before you. Your attitude re your stepsister says a lot for your maturity & insight.

Be safe. I wish you all the luck in the world. I really do.. Edited for mistakes. Edit 2 added sentence

Timely_Raspberry_243 −  NTA! Go to the police station and file charges for theft. If you have paystubs from your job, take those with you. Yes, that will probably blow up your relationship with your parents, but they lit the fuse by stealing from you. Your Mom should be protecting you from your stepdad’s b**lying, not enabling it.

ChaoticCrashy −  Call the police and file a report for theft- immediately. You are a victim, and they stole your money. Explain to the police about working- saving and what happened. They will help you. If you can stay with your friends- awesome.

Maybe a trusted parent of your friend could help you open a bank account? You’re incredibly mature and capable- you have done nothing wrong. Please find a trusted adult to confide in.

Maybe a school counselor. I hope you can understand how amazing you are! In spite of their venom and abuse. Sending you a virtual hug. I’m so sorry for your suffering.

LustyLittleNotes −  NTA. i’m so sorry you’re dealing with this it’s not fair at all.. you’ve been so responsible saving your own money for years, especially in such a tough environment. your step dad accusing you of something illegal without even listening? that’s on him, not you.

honestly, it says more about how he sees you than anything else, and it’s not okay. you’re turning 18 soon, and it sounds like you’re already independent and capable. maybe focus on staying with your friend or finding a stable place while you figure things out. as for the money, it’s YOURS.

if they don’t give it back, you might want to talk to someone you trust maybe even legal advice if it comes to that. and just know, none of this makes you a “degenerate” or whatever he said. you’re clearly strong and smart, and this situation says way more about them than it does about you. you’ve got this❤

SunlightTalisman −  12 years old is old enough to know not to go in your siblings s**t and then take it to your parents without even hearing an explanation from sibling first.

what they did is literally illegal btw and if you have proof of you collecting and cashing those checks you might be able to get police involved and get your money back without having to press charges. NTA

LowBalance4404 −  If you have your paystubs, I’d call the police to report the theft. NTA

OliveMammoth6696 −  Tell them to give you your money back or your calling the police. Also it’s illegal for parents to kick kids out without proper notice. Or better yet have your manager call them.

Catkin11 −  The ages don’t line up. They are 17 with a 12 year old sister so that means sister was born when they were 5. But they said their Dad died when they were 8 and then at 9 Mom remarried. So sister was born at least 4 years before Mom married stepfather. If you are going to do fake stories please try to get the math right.

Squinky75 −  If you were nine when your mother had your sister, how are you only five years apart now?

Was the girl wrong for not telling her parents she was saving money, or were their reactions too harsh? What do you think? Share your thoughts below! Read the original story below…