AITA For not switching places with my friend and ruining her life

One Reddit user shares the aftermath of a difficult situation when their friend, Daya, asked them to switch places after causing a serious car accident while driving without a license. Despite being pressured by Daya to take the blame, the user stuck to their principles and called the police, refusing to lie about the situation. Now facing criticism from their friend and others for not helping cover up the incident, they question if they were wrong for not switching places. Read the original story below to dive into the full details.

‘ AITA For not switching places with my friend and ruining her life’

This happened a couple weeks ago but I’m still getting s**t about it. A friend of mine Daya (fake name) asked me if I wanted to come with her on some errands and see her new car. I said yes because I had some things to get done and my car was being checked over. (We’re in the same bubble and stayed masked the whole time)

Well while we were out Daya ended up hitting another car while turning left. We were both shaken but mostly fine yet but when I started to call the police Daya started freaking out even more. She started begging me not to call the cops and to just go talk to the other driver. I didn’t feel comfortable not calling them so I went ahead and did.

Then Daya started begging me to get in the driver’s seat, saying I had to get in the driver’s seat, I had to claim I was the one driving. Turns out Daya doesn’t have a license. She needed/wanted a car but didn’t feel like getting her license so her mom bought the car for her.

I didn’t feel comfortable lying to the police so I continued to refuse and just got out of the car and waited on the sidewalk for them to get there. Well Daya got arrested for driving without a license, insurance, or registration for her car and just told me today she has been found at fault for the accident.

Now Daya, her mom, and half of our friends are saying I’m an a**hole for not just switching places. She is now facing multiple fines, possible jail time, and being kicked out of our MA program because of all this.

I tried to explain that I didn’t feel comfortable lying to the police but she just keeps calling me a “privileged b**ch” and wishing horrible things would happen to me. So am I the a**hole for not switching places with her?

Edit: Several people have said I should include this and I’m sorry I didn’t in the original post. This was much more serious than a fender bender. This was my response to someone else: “She took the entire front of his car off or at least it looked like it. We were at an intersection and she was in a left turn lane with a yellow light and didn’t look before she went.

The other gentleman was coming the opposite way going straight. Both cars are totaled.” The gentleman was not unconscious as I originally thought but he did hit his head on the steering wheel and he had to be taken to the hospital. He did eventually get out of his car with help and that’s when I believe I should have talked to him. Daya and I were mostly alright with just some bumps and bruises.

Edit 2: Someone suggested I add this because of people saying I am the a**hole for calling the police but for major accident such as this one where I live you are required by law to call the police and file a report.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Revolutionary-Bus448 −  NTA. You could get into financial, legal trouble (insurance fraud) for lying. You did the right thing. She’s mad because she brought all this on herself.

[Reddit User] −  No. Don’t drive without a license. She wasn’t even doing something heroic… she was running errands, if Daya is this mean to you, she’s not a good friend. This isn’t a white lie, this is literally not having a license or insurance, doing some dumb show off car run, being in an ma program and getting her mom and friends to gang up on you; find better friends edit: 4000 upvotes?! “Y’all jokers must be crazy” -Suicide Squad (2016)

dirtyworkoutclothes −  NTA. She ruined her own life. She and her mom chose to be irresponsible. Not only did they do something illegal but then asked you to do something illegal. Block her on all platforms. If she continues to harass you because she’s an i**ot that did idiotic things, tell her you’ll inform the police that you are being harassed.

Dszquphsbnt −  Now Daya, her mom, and half of our friends are saying I’m an a**hole for not just switching places. You don’t need any of those people in your life. **NTA** and I’m sad that for one moment you even considered you were one.

JudgeJudAITA −  “AITA for not volunteering to commit [several crimes](https://www.criminaldefenselawyer.com/resources/criminal-defense/crime-penalties/lie-police-friend.htm) for a friend and her mother who were breaking the law?”. NTA

ghostofkilgore −  NTA. Not in any way at all. She’s been massively selfish, first in just thinking she has the right to drive around without a license or insurance. Absolute AH thing to do. Secondly in just assuming you would carry the can for her. *Maybe* if you’d gone a long with it there wouldn’t have been any consequences, maybe there would.

You could have been charged wit dangerous driving or for perverting the course of justice. It’s not on you to take that risk all because of her stupidity. Imagine having the balls to call *you* a privileged b**ch!

This girl sounds like she just swans around thinking the world owes her a favour and none of her actions should have consequences. Her life isn’t ruined. Maybe she’s going to pay a high price and learn a pretty tough lesson but that’s fair. It’s up to her to learn that lesson, be a better person, and put this behind her.

Saopaul_Cline −  NTA. So she did several illegal things, that are each a big no no.

– driving without a license

– driving a car without registration.

– driving without insurance

She and her mom definitely should have known better than doing/allowing that. She also risked your life by letting you get into the car with her under false premises because I suspect you thought she had actual, you know, training how to drive safely and a license to show she did.

And she, her mom and those bullys now say your TA because you refused to do other illegal things on top of that? Doesn’t work like that! Also you did the absolute right thing. You could have gotten in serious legal trouble switching places with her because aside from the lying to the police then YOU would have been the one driving without registration and insurance.

Also, seeing there is no insurance, the cost of the damage would have legally been on you. Seeing what a peach your friend and her mother are, you can’t be sure they wouldn’t have let you sit on that.

Also, she got in legal trouble and kicked out of school because of a decision SHE made. Even if it wasn’t so detrimental for you to do so you’re under no moral obligation to safe her from the consequences of her own actions. I would seriously cut contact. Friend and mom sound super toxic. Find a friend who won’t get you into trouble.. Edit: wow, thanks for the award!!

[Reddit User] −  NTA; if you had lied and it came to light at any point, you would be charged for a lot of things and would get in trouble financially and legally. Also it’s not about privilege since apparently your friend could afford a license, she just didn’t feel like it. Well maybe if she had, she wouldn’t have hit the other car because she would have learned how to drive with a proper instructor.

Looks like it’s the consequences of her own actions. She should have thought of all that before doing something both illegal and extremely dangerous. There’s a reason people \*learn\* how to drive; it’s not as easy as it looks on the outside.

firefly232 −  NTA. Well Daya got arrested for driving without a license, insurance, or registration for her car and just told me today she has been found at fault for the accident.. She did this herself

[Reddit User] −  NTA. You didn’t ruin her life. Daya ruined her own life. Period. The bad news here is that you have lost Daya as a friend, though I’m not sure you would want a friend like that.

Do you think the user made the right call by refusing to take the blame for the accident, or could they have handled it differently to avoid the fallout with their friend? How would you have reacted in a similar situation? Share your thoughts in the comments below!