AITA for not specifically stating I won’t serve alcohol at my house?

A Redditor recently moved into a new place and invited their family over for a brunch to show off their home. While they prepared a delicious spread with plenty of non-alcoholic options, they faced backlash from their brother for not serving alcohol. Despite knowing the user doesn’t drink due to medication, the brother felt misled and claimed he wouldn’t have attended if he had known. Read the original story below to see how this family navigates expectations around alcohol and hospitality.

‘ AITA for not specifically stating I won’t serve alcohol at my house?’

So I (22f) moved out. I wanted to invite my family over to dinner, but because it’s further away (1 hour drive, which is a lot where I live) and they complained about getting home late then I changed it to brunch / lunch, and to show my new place. I invited 7 people (family), and made sure I had plenty of options.

Coffee, tea, juices, smoothies, several types of eggs, bacon, sausages, salmon, French toast, waffles, fresh fruit.. My family knows I can’t drink alcohol. But my brother got annoyed that there weren’t any mimosas or bloody mary’s or things like that.My mom agreed, not in a rude way, but said that if I let her know I didn’t have any alcohol she would have brought some.

I didn’t because A) they know I can’t have any and don’t buy it B) we met at 1pm, most people I know don’t drink by then and C) they were driving. My brother later told me that if he’d known there wasn’t alcohol he wouldn’t have come all that way, and that I’m a b**ch for not communicating it. Some of my friends agree that it’s rude not to let guests know, but most think he’s the a**hole. I think so too, but I’m biased.. AITA?

Lets dive into the reactions from Reddit:

mykingsburner18 −  NTA. Sounds like your brother has a pretty significant alcohol issue.

Pesec1 −  NTA. First of all, expecting alcohol at an event that does not explicitly mention serving alcohol is not reasonable. Especially when hosted by someone who doesn’t drink (and reason for not drinking us irrelevant) and around lunchtime. Second, it sounds like your brother has a problem and your mom is enabling it. Third, as you noted they were driving.

EDIT: looking at comments in general, there seems to be some kind of regional variation regarding whether mimosas are a staple expected during Brunch or not. OP wasn’t required to serve alcohol anyway (and almost everyone agrees). It’s differences in expectation for mimosas among the general public that I find curious.

FritosRule −  Holy s**t, your family won’t show up unless there’s free booze? Your brother actually called you a b**ch for not telling him there was no booze? These people require a program, this is not normal behavior.. NTA

7hr0wn −  NTA – If your brother can’t hang out with you without having a drink, that’s his problem, not yours.

Dragon2439 −  NTA. Its really strange to me that they would expect alcohol to be served at your place when you dont drink and that is a known fact. If they had any interest or doubt about it they should have asked.

[Reddit User] −  Okay never spend a penny hosting these people in your house ever again. If someone you know doesn’t drink is hosting something, you always ask if alcohol will be there of if it’s allowed. If someone doesn’t smoke and is hosting an event, you reach out and ask if smokes will be there or if they will be allowed to be brought. NTA

DisneyFoodie20 −  NTA. Your family is ungrateful as hell. You had one hell of a spread. I would have loved to come, with or without alcohol!

Individual-Spray4949 −  Super NTA. Sounds like you went out of your way to put together a nice meal for your family. They should have asked what you were having/ offered to bring something if they wanted something specific, especially knowing you can’t drink. Your brother also sounds like an a**oholic.

archetyping101 −  NTA. Been to several brunches at friends’ homes and all of them are social/heavy drinkers and they’ve never served any alcohol. So if heavy drinkers can not serve, let’s realize it’s not a requirement nor is it a faux pas to choose not to. Sounds like they’re ungrateful.

You prepped a massive meal to enjoy with them. Instead of enjoying spending time together, they’re disappointed there’s no alcohol. Wow! If I were you and he said that, I would say “I wish I told you so you wouldn’t have come”.

Existing_Fox_6317 −  As a lover of mimosas at brunch, I vote NTA. This is your immediate and close family who know you don’t drink and therefore could have reasonably assumed you wouldn’t be keeping alcohol in your new house.

Plus, they all had an hour-long drive home. Your brother seems to have been coming more for the open bar than to check out your new place. If you can’t make it through a single meal without a drink, you’ve got problems.

Should the user have explicitly stated that there wouldn’t be alcohol at the brunch, or was it reasonable to assume their family would understand? How do you handle expectations when hosting family gatherings? Share your thoughts below!