AITA for not siding with my fiancee after my parents wanted to invite 8 more guests?
A bride-to-be wants to invite eight additional guests to her wedding at her parents’ request, as they’ve been financially and emotionally supportive. The couple initially capped the guest list at 100, but her fiancé is against adding more people, arguing it would violate their agreed limit.
He even suggested returning her parents’ financial contributions instead of altering the list. They’ve had multiple arguments, leaving the bride torn between pleasing her parents and siding with her fiancé. Read the original story below…
‘ AITA for not siding with my fiancee after my parents wanted to invite 8 more guests?’
I (27F) and my Fiancee (30m) are getting married in September. Originally we wanted to have a reception with 85 guests, but the venue I really wanted stated we HAD to invite 100 guests. So, we went ahead with the venue I wanted and invited 100 people.
After the invitations had been sent out, my parents were upset to find out we did not invite 4 of their closest friends and their spouses (8 people in total) but they thought it would not be a big deal to ask us to invite these 8 people. My parents are the extremely generous type and I am very spoiled.
For this wedding alone they have brought forward $10000 (pays for more than half the wedding) and my mom paid for my wedding dress. And their generosity goes beyond what they have paid for the wedding (helping me get through university debt free, paying a portion of our house downpayment, helping me buy a new car, and just all around being there for me emotionally).
And for all this, I want to invite these guests to make them happy, as it would make me happy and i want to show them i appreciate all they have done for me (it’s much easier than paying them back lol). My fiancee does not share this opinion and insists this wedding cannot go above 100 guests.
He agreed to inviting them after the RSVP date provided space becomes available, but i really think most guests invited will RSVP yes. I explained to him that i want to show my parents my appreciation for all they have done for me, but he stats he would sooner give them their money back than invite these 8 guests.
We have had several arguments and i have shed many tears over this issue, but he will not budge. He thinks my parents are the AH because of the last minute attempt to change our guest list, and i think he is being the AH for being unreasonably stubborn. And perhaps I am the AH for not taking his side on this after all it was me who wanted the bigger venue. AITA?
Here’s how people reacted to the post:
Corpuscular_Ocelot − Your husband didn’t want a wedding of over 85 people, but compromised for the venue, right?. Now you are inviting more. So, how many other things has your boyfriend had to “compromise” on i.e let you or your parents get their way?
Ask yourself, what was the wedding he wanted and where did he want it? That will give you the answer on who the AH is in this story.
tinyd71 − “*He would sooner give them their money back than invite these 8 guests*”? What else is going on here? Is your fiancé upset about the venue/the increase in numbers from 85 to 100? Is he resentful of your parents’ financial contribution(s)? Does he feel powerless about making wedding-related decisions?
Longjumping_Wave4066 − YTA Simply because I don’t believe you for ONE SECOND that your fiance is losing his s**t over just 8 people. You’re making him sound insane when I believe you’re leaving kut crucial context.
NaryaGenesis − Guests other than family members are a two yes one no situation. He doesn’t want them there and only wants close people. That’s his choice and right. Your parents money doesn’t give them a right to guests.. YTA if you keep pushing this
Brianoc13 − YTA If these guests are so important, why haven’t they been mentioned earlier?
Ok_Play2364 − I feel sorry for your fiance. Your parents sound like they will control every aspect of your lives with their money
[Reddit User] − YTA. All the N T A votes are because you are the bride and those people think the wedding is only about you. In reality the wedding is for both people and the husband gets an equal say.
Obviously you are leaving stuff out and this post is biased towards you but context clues would leave me to believe that he is the only one who has to keep “compromising” and you think he is the bad guy after he kept giving in to your demands when he finally says no.
[Reddit User] − I think I know what’s going on. You say you’re “very spoiled.” He sees it and doesn’t like it. He thinks your parents need to back off and that you need to stop being mommy and daddy’s little princess. You and him need to have a serious discussion about this. He seems resentful and I don’t blame him.
East_Ask6402 − You keep pushing your fiancee into doing things he does not want to do. Honestly get over yourself before you don’t have a wedding ato attend. YTA
Helpyjoe88 − INFO: what’s this REALLY about? If he’s just arbitrarily drawn a line at 100 and refuses for no valid reason to indulge your parents in one small thing after all the support they’ve given, he is just being stubborn and is TA… and you may want to reconsider marrying him in light of his behavior here.
However, if this isn’t just one thing, but the thousandth thing where he feels he was steamrollered and his desires ignored, nd hes finally chosen this as the point where he sats ‘no more’ – that’s a very different situation. And he should be reconsidering marrying you.
So, which is it? If you’ve argued about this, and have actually listened to him – and will be honest with yourself – then you’ll know.
Should she prioritize her fiancé’s wishes or accommodate her parents? What do you think?
