AITA for not sharing my recipe with my nephew’s other aunt?
A Redditor shared a story about a conflict with her nephew’s other aunt over a family-favorite recipe. After her nephew refused to eat vegetables, the other aunt requested the recipe for a specific soup, but the Redditor declined, as it’s a recipe she developed with her boyfriend and may want to use commercially in the future. Read the full story below to see if you think she was in the right.
‘ AITA for not sharing my recipe with my nephew’s other aunt?’
My (24f) sister is married to BIL and they have my nephew Sam (7). BIL has a sister Eve (25f). We all live in the same city. Eve and I used to each babysit Sam roughly once a month. My sister and BIL were in a car accident a month ago and are recovering. The family step in to help with what we can, and Eve and I offer to look after Sam in alternative week.
It’s been a little over 3 weeks now, with Sam currently staying with Eve. I live with my boyfriend Paul who’s a good cook. He doesn’t work in the food industry but he likes tinkering around the kitchen. I myself am an OK cook and sometimes Paul and I work on new recipes or perfecting older ones together.
We talked about putting together a cook book or maybe start a cooking channel on social media, but we’re both too busy at the moment. Sam is a big fan of our kid-friendly dishes. He and Paul get along great and they are both sad Paul is in another country for work while Sam is under my care.
I made sure to make him all his favorites while he was with me. A few hours ago Eve called me, saying Sam refused to eat the vegetables she made. When she told him he had to eat his greens, Sam said he wanted my spinach bacon soup or no veggies.
Eve then called to ask me for my recipe. That soup, however, was one I created the recipe with Paul and I don’t want to share. I told Eve I would make the soup and drop them at her place the day after tomorrow. I told her Sam is good with fruit, so if he doesn’t eat the vegetables he can have extra servings of fruit in the meantime.
Eve said I was being ridiculous and s**fish. And dropping the soup two days later mean Sam won’t get to eat vegetables till then. I just don’t want to share our recipe which may be used commercially later. AITA?
Check out how the community responded:
BBQQuails − NTA. Your recipe has monetary potentials. You should keep it for future use. It was very generous of you to offer to make a batch and drop the soup off with Eve. I think, however, that both you and Eve spoil Sam too much.
diminishingpatience − NTA. dropping the soup two days later mean Sam won’t get to eat vegetables till then. Until he tried your soup he’d never eaten any vegetables? If he can’t have your soup he will never again have any vegetables in any other form?
EntrepreneurFit3880 − YTA. You seem to have a very high opinion of yourself. Get over it. No soup for you!
photosbeersandteach − YTA. It’s one recipe. Tell your SIL you’ll share the recipe but ask her not to share it because you are planning to use it commercially later. If she doesn’t listen, you’re good to refuse to share recipes moving forward.
Careless-Ability-748 − Yta sounds over dramatic and like a pipe dream you’ll ever make any money with it.
keesouth − YTA. You’re giving it to your nephews aunt not posting it on social media. It’s not like you’re releasing it to the works. Also, giving to to her would be a good test to see how someone who eventually buys your cookbook would do with the recipe.
It’s really an AH move because you don’t even know if this is going to end up in a cookbook and if it’s going to be in this current state. You don’t know if it’s going to end up in a cookbook at all. You’re denying her and your nephew simply on the off chance that this exact recipe may one day end up in a cookbook.
indicatprincess − YTA. I can’t imagine being so protective of a recipe to the point that I’d deny my nephew.
yoBendy − YTA. A kid struggling with change and upheaval. He’s missing his uncle. That soup is a comfort for a kid in a really difficult situation. If you’re not monetizing it now, you won’t. If you’re that worried about copyright, get a WordPress blog and start uploading things so it’s dated.
Talk to a lawyer, something! But right now you’re making a kid wait days to eat food he wants because you might make money in the future? Whew. Also, maybe have your husband call the kid and tell him how good simple one pan roasted veggies are, if you think veggie eating might be a struggle.
fungibleprofessional − NTA because it’s your decision whether to share the recipe and a couple of days without vegetables is not going to harm Sam. Plus, is the plan for him to eat spinach-bacon soup every day indefinitely? Eve is going to have to figure something else out at some point.
Can y’all ask the parents what veggies/preparation Sam eats at home? I mean as Eve I would be giving you a hard eye roll from the other end of the phone because Eve is also stepping up to help care for Sam during this rough period and having the recipe would help her (and Sam).
But I get that you want to keep the recipe confidential. Plus, if you pass this one along, next thing you know she’ll be asking for another recipe for Sam, and where does it end.
BigBigBigTree − I don’t want to share. L**e. Share your recipe. You’re not a restaurant. It costs you nothing. I just don’t want to share our recipe which may be used commercially later. Ok so are you honestly trying to claim that this isn’t s**fish motivation?
“Hey I know I could help you out with your kid in a way that requires almost nothing from me, but I value the potential to make some money at some unspecified time in the future that may never come more than that.” Bro. If you don’t want to share, don’t share, but how can you argue that you’re not prioritizing your own (imagined) interests over your relationship here? YTA
edit: And unless it seems like the other aunt is realistically in line to take your recipe and publish her own cookbook with other recipes (seems pretty far fetched to me), you’re standing to lose out on the sale of what, one single copy of your imagined cookbook???? What the f**k.
Do you think the Redditor was fair to protect her recipe, or should she have made an exception to help her nephew? How would you handle sharing a unique family recipe in a similar situation? Share your thoughts below!
