AITA for not sharing a bedroom with one of my sisters during a family vacation?

A Reddit user is caught in a difficult family dynamic while on vacation. At just 16 years old, he finds himself in the middle of a longstanding feud between his older sister Bella (17) and younger sister Allie (15), who cannot stand being around each other without fighting.

Despite their parents’ attempts to encourage harmony and unity, the tension is palpable, and the user is often forced to mediate. When his grandparents offer him a private room during a family vacation, he jumps at the chance.

But his parents are furious at his choice, insisting he should have shared a room with one of his sisters to promote family togetherness. Did he make the right decision for his own peace of mind, or should he have prioritized family unity? Read the full story below.

 

‘ AITA for not sharing a bedroom with one of my sisters during a family vacation?’

I’m (16m) the middle child of my family. I have an older sister “Bella” (17) and a younger sister “Allie” (15). My sisters do not like each other and cannot be in the same room/around each other without fighting, being mean or making it a point to say how much they hate each other. It’s a pain in the ass.

I have a decent relationship with Bella and with Allie. But I hate being around them when they’re together. I hate that our bedrooms are so close to each other and if they’re screaming from their bedrooms at each other I’m caught in the middle of listening to it.

My parents have tried to encourage sibling togetherness, sibling kindness, family unity. They punish when one does something bad to the other, they have tried therapy, they sent them to a couple of camps with the aim of bringing them together.

They tried to do family togetherness stuff with all of us so the three of us would team up against parents but I always ended up in the middle between them. There are times Bella and Allie won’t speak to each other and expect others to act as a go between and when we refuse they just ignore each other.

During Covid there were a couple of times they didn’t say a single word to each other for weeks and were grounded for refusing to speak to each other or look at each other. My grandparents (dad’s parents) offered to bring us along on a vacation and my parents accepted.

We went last week and we just got back. My grandparents, because they were paying, offered me my own room on their side of the cabin and I said yes. My parents tried to step in and say I needed to room with one of the girls.

That the room had a divider for privacy but otherwise it would be painful staying there. My grandparents said that’s why I was on their side of the cabin and mom and dad were on the same side as my sisters.

My parents applied a lot of pressure for me to say no to my own room and share. But since my grandparents were paying and offering I accepted it. My parents had a miserable time on vacation. My sisters had fun when they weren’t together.

But me and my grandparents had a fun time. It was so relaxing to not be caught in the middle for the whole week. My parents are pissed at me and told me I should have been mature enough to help out.. AITA?

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Tangerine_Bouquet −  Absolutely NTA and your grandparents are awesome for both looking out for you, and putting the responsibility on (1) your parents and (2) your sisters for dealing with the bad behavior. None of the consequences should fall on you.

It’s considered inappropriate for children over a certain age to have share a room with siblings not of the same s**. It’s just uncomfortable, even without your sisters’ specific AH behavior.

_s1m0n_s3z −  They thought that you should have been suffering instead of them? S**ew that! You didn’t raise those daughters; *they* did. NTA.

Electrical-Ad-1798 −  NTA, your parents can each room with one of your sisters if they think it’s so damn important for the two of them to be separated.

Square-Minimum-6042 −  Your parents are worse than your sisters! I’m glad your grandparents noticed and gave you a break. NTA.

madyhomy −  NTA. You’re 16 and on vacation – it’s completely reasonable to want a break from playing referee between your sisters. You weren’t asked to help out in some typical way; they wanted you to take on the stress of managing two siblings who refuse to get along, which isn’t fair to you.

Your grandparents recognized that you deserved to enjoy the trip too, so you accepted their offer – smart move! It sounds like you made the best of the situation, and it’s not your responsibility to fix the dynamic between your sisters.

Cheddarbaybiskits −  NTA. It’s not your responsibility to referee, help manage your sisters’ relationship, or ‘take one for the team’ so your parents can get some peace.

Honestly, it sounds like your grandparents do not agree with how your parents are handling the conflict in their household, so they’re doing what they can to help you. They know you’re caught in the middle. Your parents need to take responsibility for their own failure.

Emotional_Fan_7011 −  NTA. You got a vacation from your sisters! I would be asking the grandparents if I can move in with them. This isn’t good at all for your mental health.

Do your sisters do individual therapy? it honestly sounds like each one has some sort of mental disorder that needs treatment. Maybe if they were getting that help, instead of your parents treating this as a “sibling bond” issue, things would improve.

Heeler_Haven −  NTA – Your parents could have each shared a room with one of your sisters…… or, you know, actually parent their kids instead of putting you in the middle… I’m glad your grandparents “see” you…..

In_need_of_chocolate −  I wonder if your grandparents would let you live with them in a while. People arguing through the walls sounds hellish.

PickleNotaBigDill −  NTA. Nothing worse than having to be the go-between for squabbling siblings, especially those who don’t gaf about making everyone else’s lives miserable. Your mom and dad created those two, it’s a their problem, nor a your problem.

I don’t see it as s**fish; I see it as self preservation! I hope that I can be there for my grandchildren the way that your grandparents were for you, and I am glad you had a great vacation! Mom and dad need to deal with the two…their creation, not yours.

Do you think the user was justified in choosing to take the private room for his own well-being, or should he have made more of an effort to share a space with his sisters despite the conflict? How would you handle a similar situation in your family? Share your thoughts below!