AITA for not selling my car even though my fiancée refuses to sit in the front seat because my ex sat there?
A man (27M) is engaged to his fiancée (26F), who refuses to sit in the front seat of his car because his ex used to sit there, claiming it makes her uncomfortable. While he offered to sell the car, she declined but still avoids the seat and other activities associated with his past relationships.
This has caused tension, as she also stays in touch with her own ex, leaving him feeling confused and like he’s walking on eggshells over things he can’t control. read the original story below…
‘ AITA for not selling my car even though my fiancée refuses to sit in the front seat because my ex sat there?’
Hi, everyone. I’m (27M) engaged to my fiancée (26F), and while we’re preparing for our wedding, something recently came up that’s left me confused and conflicted. I want to know if I’m in the wrong here or if her reaction is unreasonable.
Here’s the issue: My fiancée refuses to sit in the front seat of my car because my ex used to sit there. She says it makes her uncomfortable and feels like she’s “taking what’s someone else’s.” Instead, she insists on sitting in the back seat whenever we go somewhere,
which honestly feels strange to me—like I’m her chauffeur. I offered to sell the car if it truly bothers her, but she told me not to because it would feel like she’s forcing me to do something. However, she still won’t sit in the front seat and avoids interacting with anything related to my past relationships.
This is part of a bigger pattern. She’s mentioned multiple times that she doesn’t want to do things I’ve done with my ex, like cuddling on the couch during a movie or visiting places I’ve been to before. I’ve tried to be understanding of her feelings,
but I’m starting to feel like I’m being held responsible for my past, which I can’t change. It’s also confusing because she keeps in touch with her own ex, occasionally texting or calling him, which I have no issue with as I trust her.
Whenever these situations come up, she tends to withdraw emotionally—avoiding physical affection, not saying good night, or being distant. While I love her and want to work through this, I’m starting to feel like I’m walking on eggshells around her emotions,
especially when they’re tied to things I can’t control, like my past. TL;DR: My fiancée refuses to sit in the front seat of my car because my ex sat there and avoids doing things I did with my ex. I offered to sell the car, but she doesn’t want me to, even though she won’t engage with it. Am I the a**hole for not selling the car and thinking her behavior is unreasonable?
Here’s what the community had to contribute:
teresajs − NTA This is controlling behavior. Stop playing her games. If she won’t sit next to you in the front of the car, then don’t drive her anymore.
Ultimately, this relationship isn’t going to work out.
It would be messier and more expensive to get a divorce than to choose not to marry this woman in the first place. Even if you don’t want to end the relationship, you should put wedding plans on hold and get couple’s counseling.
AdmirableAvocado − She sounds emotionally immature. Honestly, I would hold off on marrying her until she has some serious amount of therapy sessions under her belt.. Nta
CaptainWasTaken − She is crazy, cancel the marriage and RUN while you can. Will she have the same issue while having S**, knowing you and your ex where INTIMATE? Does it stay true for sitting on the car and on you…. ?
Samwry − NTA. Welcome to your future if you marry her! Every decision and destination and food and restaurant and activity and leisure spot will have to be examined for the malign presence of “the ex”. This will never get better, only worse. Now, imagine you do the same with HER ex!
Every place they went together is taboo. But I guess not, according to the post. HER ex is ok, YOURS is out. Guess she won’t touch your willy, because your ex (presumable) also touched it. Time to get while the getting is good. Also before you are baby-trapped and/or living together.
Tasty-Answer-8183 − NTA. But you’ve been way too understanding OP. Her reasoning doesn’t make any sense. She’s fine kissing you, having s** with you, which are both things you most likely also did with your ex, but she draws the line at cuddling and sitting in the front car sit? Wtf? 🤷♀️
To me it looks like she’s using your ex as an excuse to not do things she doesn’t want to. She’s making you feel guilty for having a very normal past. Which sounds even more ridiculous, given the fact that it’s not her first relationship either if she has exes.
So you’re not allowed to have exes but she can talk with hers? This is very unhealthy and toxic. You need to wake up and put an end to this nonsense.
MolassesInevitable53 − She’s barking mad. She is not sane enough or mature enough to be getting married. Edit: I see from your other posts that this is an arranged marriage. She doesn’t want to marry, but she doesn’t want to say so. She is trying to get you to call it off.
ProfileElectronic − Does she have s** with you? After all you must’ve been intimate with your ex too. I hope she doesn’t ask you to get a vasectomy.
Mother_Search3350 − You should be taking her to a therapist before doing any wedding planning. That woman is mentally unstable and needs to get professional help
ProfessionalKey3176 − Thank you, everyone, for taking the time to share your stories, perspectives, and support on my post. Reading through the thousands of responses has been an eye-opening experience. I’ve seen how many of you have dealt with similar situations or have insightful advice,
and I’m truly grateful for your honesty and compassion. After reflecting on everything you’ve shared and my own feelings, I’ve made the decision to end my engagement. This relationship has made me realize that I deserve happiness, trust, and emotional security—things I’ve been struggling to find lately.
I care deeply about my fiancée, but I can’t keep walking on eggshells or feeling punished for things I can’t change about my past. Life is too short to live in fear of being myself. Your stories about finding happiness after letting go of unhealthy relationships have given me hope that I can do the same.
This is definitely not an easy decision, but I know it’s the right one for my future. Thank you all again for your support and for reminding me that it’s okay to prioritize my own well-being. Wishing everyone happiness and peace in your own journeys!
Rat_Master999 − Your fiancee is an i**ot. Either the s** is incredible, she’s loaded (or both, you lucky dog), or you’re an i**ot, too, for staying with her.
Is he wrong for keeping the car, or is her reaction unreasonable? What would you do in this situation? Share your thoughts below!