AITA for not selling ATV that I bought stepson and giving him the money?

One Redditor is in a conflict with his wife over an ATV he bought for his stepson’s 14th birthday. Over the years, the ATV has required extensive repairs, with the Redditor spending significant time and money to rebuild it.

Now that the ATV is broken again, his wife is pressuring him to sell it and give the money to the stepson, but the Redditor feels unappreciated and doesn’t want to reward his stepson for what he sees as a lack of responsibility. Read the full story below for more details.

‘ AITA for not selling ATV that I bought stepson and giving him the money?’

At the behest of my wife, I bought my stepson a 2004 Yamaha Warrior 350cc for his 14th birthday for $1600. It’s been a great little ATV. He and his friends rode it, and have ridden it, very hard for 4 years, frequently “breaking it”.

Due to this, I have completely rebuilt it from the ground up: new springs, struts, a-arms, new swing arm, new plastics, new graphics, new lights, new brakes, new wheels, new tires, spent $2100 on rebuilding the engine, and countless $$$, hours, and nightmares troubleshooting it. I have literally been in the garage overnight working on it. Only think not new is the frame, the seat, and the electrical.

Every time something wrong happens, I ask what exactly happened and get the same answers: “i-own-know?”. I never get *any* help, curiosity, or participation regarding the failure, the troubleshooting, or the work and sometimes clever tricks required to get it going again. It’s been a labor of love, but only for me, unfortunately.

Now, after the latest failure (electrical, I’m still troubleshooting) his mother is pressuring me to sell it and give him the money. My argument is “it stays here for him and his friends to enjoy”. We have 3 ATVs and land that they can romp around on, which is loads of fun.

He’s 18, barely works (maybe 20 hours a week?), does the absolute minimum of online school to graduate this year, and frankly, I feel taken advantage of, and do not think it’s right to reward him for all my hard work for which I’ve received zero appreciation — no thanks and absolutely no love, nothing from the wife (seriously , she never touches me).

My wife says I’m being “an Indian giver” by not wanting to sell it and give him the money. I agree there are several underlying issues going on adding to my overall sentiment. However, regarding the ATV, Am I the a**hole? I understand it was a gift, but something doesn’t feel right.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

DigbyChickenZone −  no thanks and absolutely no love. I agree it must be hurtful that a teenager isn’t seeing all the hard work that you put in for them, but that’s pretty much the norm for kids that age.

Maybe before fixing (or selling) the atv, come to a compromise with your son – ask him for him to buy the parts and attempt to learn the basics of how to fix it up himself. Or else he won’t have his ATV anymore [aka it will be yours, not his].

That said, the ATV is something that you see as YOUR BABY and that’s why you don’t want to sell it. That connection to something that you put so much effort into has nothing to do with your son or your wife, you enjoy working on what you’ve spent years rebuilding. Most importantly, you can recognize that it’s a project that you like to have, without being outwardly resentful towards your son and your wife.

Your resentment issues are FAR BEYOND what is going on with the ATV. Again, just say that you want to keep the ATV, and figure out how to address your disappointment you have in your life in other ways. IE – communicating directly with people in your family rather than trying to use an ATV to say what you’re really thinking.

The ATV is just a totem for you my dude

– of your son: to you he’s disrespectful, indulgent and lazy

– of your wife: to you she doesn’t understand your “needs” nothing from the wife (seriously , she never touches me). Really, though, keep the ATV and seek therapy.

stephnetkin −  OP, I’m frankly confused. What does your step-son want to do? Apparently it is his ATV. If he wants to sell it, then HE should be responsible for selling it. Yes, you were a wonderful Dad for maintaining it for him.

If he sells it, then he should not lay claim to your ATV’s to play with when the mood strikes him. It does appear that he needs to grow up and assume responsibility. You are NTA for refusing to handle this; your step-son is old enough to handle that on his own!

Chloe_Phyll −  NTA. Let the stepson sell it to you. Then, he can rent it from you when you both agree. If he damages it, he pays to repair it. And, it does not get repaired until he pays. Bet he will be more careful now that he has to pay. Otherwise, this kid has no motivation to treat the ATV well.

Zealousideal-Car7738 −  NTA but you should stop repairing it and watch what the son will do. It’s his and HE should take care of it and if he doesn’t it’s not your fault.

Mobile_Following_198 −  ESH. I mean everyone. You gave a gift, yes. You chose to put more time and money in it repeatedly. That still didn’t make it any less of a gift. Your son should appreciate that. Your son also should have taken care of it. Your wife should also appreciate that.

You get bonus AH points for the “seriously, she never touched me” as if you’re expecting physical intimacy as a reward for tinkering with an ATV. Your wife gets extra AH points for the r**ist “Indian giver” comment. Honestly the least AH in this story is the son, because it sounds like he’s just the product of you and your wife, so his behavior would really not be unexpected.

zepticvoid −  NTA. Why are you still repairing it? It’s his. His to pay for repairs if he can’t/won’t do it himself. His to trash (as he has done, repeatedly). His to sell. It’s not yours. Not the responsibility of selling it, keeping it running or even gassed up! If he sells it, make sure he and his friends have *no* access to yours. If your wife let’s him trash hers, then she has none to ride either.

JohnaPrude62 −  NTA. You’ve basically adopted that ATV with all the rebuilding, late nights, and endless troubleshooting. Now they want to cash in on *your* hard work? Doesn’t seem fair. You’ve earned the right to decide what happens with it—after all, you’re the one who’s actually shown it any love!

Fromasha −  NTA. It was a gift and so it’s his ATV. If he wants to sell a broken ATV for no money then that’s on him. As well as fixing it, why should you also be charged with selling it? Your wife can continue treating him like a baby all she wants but I can understand why you’ve had enough.

KedgereeEnjoyer −  Take off the parts you paid for, let them sell the incomplete wreck

Clean_Factor9673 −  An Indian giver would take it away, sell it and keep the money. It was a gift to him but say you sold it and gave him the money, what would happen? Would he expect to use and break your ATVs?

Do you think the Redditor is being unreasonable by not selling the ATV and giving the money to his stepson, or should he honor his wife’s wishes? Is his frustration justified, or should he have handled it differently? Share your thoughts below!