AITA for not paying for whole families tickets to my children’s birthday party?

A father of three is planning a birthday party for his daughters at a local kids’ museum, which would cost $250 for his family of five. When his wife suggested inviting extended family, the total cost rose to over $500.

The father believes it’s unfair to pay for everyone else’s admission, especially since he feels his relatives can afford their own tickets. He is ready to insist that only his immediate family will go unless others pay for themselves. Read the original story below…

‘ AITA for not paying for whole families tickets to my children’s birthday party?’

My wife and I were discussing the birthday party ideas we had for our girls who are turning 4 and 5. I suggested we have it at a local kids museum in our city. It’s a great place and would be a k**ler time for everyone. We’re a family of 5, myself, wife, son, and our 2 daughters.

I looked up the prices and it’ll be roughly 250 for the 5 of us to goto the museum, that doesn’t include the food for the party or anything else, just admission. Tbh that’s a little more than I want to pay but for my babies it worth it. When I suggested it and as I was looking at tickets pricing, my wife said it’d be over 500 for us to goto the museum for everyone, and I said “what no way?

I’m looking right now and it’s 250″ she proceeded to tell me that’s for just us but we need to include the other guests and kids as well, meaning my 2 little brothers, my dad, his wife, my mother, my wife’s mother and her sister and husband. I recoiled and said “well I think they can get their own tickets if they’d like to come”

I fully expected the extended family to come, I have no problem with that. I think they’re all great and I have no problem with them. However I don’t think it’s my responsibility to pay for their admission to the museum. Especially when we will be having a standard party at our home as well.

This became an issue between us as she says she thinks I’m trying to leave people out (she really just means her side of the family) which I’m absolutely not as I don’t want to pay for anyone not under my roof. For context my wife and I are middle class, but still not middle class enough to drop over 500 dollars on a day for everyone.

We do make more money than her mother, sister and her husband but none of them have any kids or responsibilities, it’d be much easier for them to buy their own single ticket than it would be for us to buy for everyone. It’s basically we pay for ourselves and only ourselves or we don’t go.

I think thats wrong and is taking away a good time for our family because other people outside our family don’t want to pony up. I’m pretty ready to put my foot down and tell her they pay themselves or they don’t come but I don’t want to be a piece of s**t either, just seems like a lot on us, when it doesn’t need to be.. AITA?

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

OldPresentation3437 −  It’s the pique of poor form to invite someone to a party and expect them to pay to be included. That being said, unless I’m missing something, you’re already HAVING a party at your house. Why do your children need two parties for their birthdays?

Why not have the free birthday party at your house and, separately, plan a family outing to the museum. But if you insist on inviting people to the museum with you, then your invitation is an indication you plan to pay their way, yes. 

DrukMeMa −  Your edit helps a lot. You’re making this too complicated. It’s a party at your home for those invited at no cost to them. Then you are going with your immediate family to the museum the next day. Don’t invite anyone else to that. Kids museums are hectic enough without a herd. Have fun. Be clear on this you’re NTA

Coujelais −  What museum charges $50/pp even CHILDREN for entry??

EmceeSuzy −  INFO: what museum will you visit? I go to a lot of museums in high COL areas and the cost of $50 per person seems very very high.

tiggergirluk76 −  NTA. Your party is actually at home, not the museum. It also reads like the majority of the people your wife wants to pay for to enter the KIDS museum are actually adults, that are likely just going to be sitting or standing around watching the kids have fun. Make it a family trip out in the day and have the party in the early evening.

minowen −  NTA if you made it clear the party and the museum trip are separate events.

MovieLover1993 −  If you’re having another party and this is just a ‘we are gonna hit the museum after’ thing then I think it’s fine

[Reddit User] −  NTA at all. It would be unreasonable for people to expect y’all to take on that expense.

EmceeSuzy −  YTA . You do not invite people on a birthday outing if you are not going to treat them. It is very bad manners. Stick with the house party and go to the museum as a family on a different weekend.

More importantly, you seem to think that you are the dictator of how you and your wife will spend your money. She has been very clear about what she wants to do and you seem to feel e**itled to simply proclaim that you’ve decided differently. What’s that all about?

capmanor1755 −  NAH but you’re causing reasonable confusion. A lot of people do host kids bdays at places like the ymca or a zoo and it’s customary for the hosts to pay a party fee that gives all the guests free admission. Break the party and the zoo into two separate days and don’t refer to the zoo as a “birthday” event- just talk to family and ask if they want to meet up at the zoo or not.

Is it reasonable for him to limit the costs to his immediate family, or should he consider covering the extended family too? What do you think? Share your thoughts below!