AITA for not paying for my sister’s college when I’m paying for my fiancée’s?

A Reddit user shared a dilemma after deciding to pay for his fiancée’s remaining college tuition but refusing to help his younger sister with hers. The user, who worked hard to overcome poverty, feels that supporting his fiancée aligns with their shared future, while his sister’s demand feels entitled. However, his family accuses him of neglecting “family first” values. Now, he’s questioning whether his decision makes him selfish. Read the full story below and weigh in.

‘ AITA for not paying for my sister’s college when I’m paying for my fiancée’s?’

So, I (29M) grew up dirt poor. Like, sharing meals, lights off half the month poor. My parents did their best, but there were five of us, and money was always tight. I hustled like crazy after high school—community college, then transferred to a good university while working full time. I graduated with loans but a solid job in tech. F

ast forward a decade, and I’ve got a good income and no debt and to top it off, I just won a cool $20k on Stake (NBA hit this week)

My fiancée (26F) is finishing her degree. She’s been working too, but with her schedule and the costs of school, I offered to pay her last two semesters so she could focus and graduate without loans. I want us to start our marriage on solid ground, so I don’t mind helping her out.

Enter my younger sister (21F). She’s still in college and recently found out I’m paying for my fiancée’s tuition. She flipped, saying if I can afford that, I should help her too. She’s always been bitter about me “getting out” and doing well while she and the rest of my family are still struggling.

I get it, but here’s the thing: I’ve worked hard to be where I am, and I feel like my fiancée and I are building a future together. My sister and I aren’t close, and I feel like she’s asking out of entitlement, not need. My parents have now chimed in, saying it’s “family first” and I’m abandoning them. I don’t think I owe anyone anything, especially since I’ve already helped out when I could (paid off their electric bill last winter, etc.). I’m torn.

I don’t want to be a selfish j**k, but I also don’t want to set a precedent of being the family ATM. AITA?

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

redditlurker1981 −  Your fiancé is your family. Remind your parents and sister of that.

Icy-Performer571 −  Tell them “yes, family first. That is why I am prioritizing the family fiancé and I are building and the family we will be creating”.

[Reddit User] −  Nta. You are building a future with her. Do not invest in your sister.

Valuable-Cancel5521 −  NTA. You don’t have to take care of your adult sister. You’re not her husband nor her father. She is an adult and can handle her own things. She is just wanting to use you. I’d go low contact with the entire family if I were you.

Ok_Historian_646 −  NTA! Your money and what you choose to do with it is your business! Call your sister jealous, envious, or whatever, but I think she is deplorable for having the expectation that you pay for her college.
You set a really good example for her! You left home, went to school, worked and are doing wonderfully. If she can’t or won’t follow your lead then that’s on her.

If your parents are siding with her, be honest with them. Your finances are NONE of their business. If their daughter needs assistance paying for school then they can help.

TaserHawk −  Invest in future wife because it will heighten the future with her. Your sister isn’t your responsibility. I never understood why people have kids if they can’t afford to help them in life. Time to place financial boundaries since one handout to family will invite others by not only not paying for your sister but by telling your family you are not an ATM and absolutely refuse to give out money except to your wife and future children you have with her.

You need to have that hard conversation with them or they’ll hound and guilt trip you for life. You chose your gf, who will be investing into your life’s dreams and goals.

ShaderQuill −  You’re NTA. Prioritizing your future with your fiancée is completely valid. Family can be demanding, but it’s important to set boundaries. I’ve seen people regret becoming the family ATM, so stay firm in your decision and focus on building a solid future with your partner.

LittleKji −  Family first – that’s your future wife. Easy NTA.

LuneMirey −  You’re NTA. Prioritizing your future with your fiancée is valid. Family pressure can be intense, but setting boundaries is key. A friend once became the family ATM and regretted it. Focus on building a strong foundation for your new life together, and don’t let guilt sway you.

RappTurner −  A resounding “NO”. NTA!!! Not gonna get into all the reasons why, except: Self-protection and self-respect. Practice both.. Stay safe.