AITA for Not Ordering My BF Food of His Choice?
A Reddit user shares their frustration with their boyfriend’s recurring habit of conveniently “forgetting” his wallet or letting his phone die when it’s time to pay for food. On their two-month anniversary, she tested her theory about his behavior by not ordering his preferred meal and instead choosing something simpler. Now, she’s questioning whether her actions were justified or petty.
‘ AITA for Not Ordering My BF Food of His Choice?’
I (F21) have been going out with my BF (M21) for 2 months now. He’s in engineering and i’m in business. he had a paid internship this summer that paid him thousands of dollars each month. meanwhile my internship was free. I’ve come to notice that after he pays for one dinner or a meal, he conveniently “leaves his wallet” and has “0 battery” when we have to eat out/order restaurant food the next time and i have to pay for it.
I have 0 problem paying for food after he has paid for the previous meal but he doesn’t even let me offer and imposes a sort of avoidable situation at me as to why he can’t pay for the particular meal and i have to pay for it.
i thought i was overthinking but yesterday, on our 2 month mark, he was liek i wanna have a gourmet burger, not wendy’s, i thought he was going to pay for the food delivery, but then this voice inside me said “worst case scenario, i have to pay for our 2 month dinner”, which was fine with me because i was going to offer anyways but i just thought that yk usually it’s the guy who pays for big meals.
anyways, he conveniently told me “im at 1% battery rn”, 3 hours before we ordered food online. when he told me that, i could see whatever he told me 3 hours later coming from a mile away. i told him to charge his phone asap because he was at home and his charger was right next to us.
i offered to even give him his charger, he said no. instead, he proceeded to play a game on his phone, causing it to die. then after 3 hours, he said “babe you’ll have to order food today, i’m out of energy”, i expected that from a mile away. and he was fully expecting me to pay for his $30 each burger when he came up with that l**e excuse.
to test that theory out, i said “im tired too, not in the mood to eat”. lie. right after i said that, he was literally not the same person anymore. he was full of energy and even told me to stay awake, “the night has just started”. I was right, it was just an excuse to not spend any money. the worst part is that i was going to offer ordering it anyways but i just wanted to test my theory, and i was supposedly right.
I was hungry anyways and i wasn’t gonna rely on him to get me anything. i ended up ordering a plain cheese pizza cuz i ain’t buying that man a gourmet burger liek i originally planned to if need be because he has done this so many times before. like he knew we were going to eat and he has conveniently forgotten his wallet and phone so many times. AITA not ordering my bf the food of his choice?
Check out how the community responded:
micknick0000 − …why not just tell him about the issue? What do you expect to change if you’re not having this conversation with him?
okpineapplez − NTA. It feels like this dude is purposely s**t testing you or something. Doesn’t sound like a healthy setup. Plus he’s getting paid and you’re not so shouldn’t he be covering the costs? I’m all for girls paying when they can but I don’t think it’s cool to do what he’s doing.
Lunar-Eclipse0204 − NTA – but why are you still with him??
DenizenKay − ESH. Hes an indisputable a**hole, but you’re being an ass by testing him instead of having an adult conversation. you’re 21. learn how to talk to your boyfriend about s**t he does that’s not right. grow up, and talk s**t out. thats the only way you’ll ever know whether he’s a l**er or a keeper.
SingleAlfredoFemale − INFO: if I understand correctly, he pays for a meal, and then expects you to pay for the next one? Because that seems reasonable. Why is he having to resort to l**e tricks? Shouldn’t you just be ready and offer to pay when it’s your turn?
magicstarfish − ESH. Everyone else in here calling him a moocher but so is she. She expects him to pay for her. After he does, he then expects her to pay next time. That is reasonable but his methods are weird, so she plays games back.
He would be better off being up front and sayin “hey I got the last one so can you get this one?”, but she should also be saying “you got the last one so I’ll get this one” before it gets to time to pay. You two should stop playing games and have a conversation about it.
redditreadyin2024 − If money is an issue for both of you, why are you ordering out? It is much cheaper to fix a hamburger at home and you can fix multiple for a later meal and it still be cheaper. Home cooking is something you could do together, learn together, enjoy together. Just a suggestion. It beats the alternative of baking of your relationship, because neither of you can really afford to pay for each other’s meals. Or at least that is how it sounds.
shibbyman342 − Another case of not communicating, perpetuating a problem. If you’re able to see a pattern, he simply doesn’t want to keep paying for meals. In his mind, he probably thinks bills should be split 50/50 regardless of income discrepancies.
You said *”i just thought that yk usually it’s the guy who pays for big meals”* …like, what? What if you made a million and he made nothing? Does this still hold true? To base something solely on gender and expectations is a little wrong…
But instead of communicating that you cannot afford to pay for meals, and you both come up with a game plan to work it through, you just build resentment. And if everything else is fantastic, why would you both play these dumb games instead of being up-front about something so small? ESH. You two need to do the fundamentals and TALK.
Fun_Nothing5136 − Girl. Imagine what a lifetime of his manipulations would be like.
LurkyLooSeesYou2 − NTA. But you should reevaluate this relationship because this guy is lying to make you spend money when he has plenty
Was the user justified in testing her theory and ordering a simpler meal instead of indulging her boyfriend’s gourmet request? Or should she have handled the situation differently to address the bigger issue? Share your thoughts below!