AITA for not offering an open bar at my wedding?

The user and their fiancé decided against an open bar at their wedding due to concerns about heavy drinking in their family. Instead, they opted for a drink ticket system, limiting guests to two drinks each, served at their assigned tables.

Despite believing this is a reasonable choice, the couple has faced backlash from family and friends, who accuse them of being “bridezilla” and ruining the fun. read the original story below…

‘ AITA for not offering an open bar at my wedding?’

My fiancé and my wedding invites have started arriving, along with the invites is a few things we felt we should outline before the guests arrive to the reception. We have decided to not include an open bar.

I come from an a**oholic heavy family and simply don’t feel comfortable being around people who are drinking heavily. Instead, my fiancé and I have decided to have a drink ticket like service instead.

With that service we’ve been able to customize how we want a**oholic beverages being handled at our reception and the venue says this kind of service happens all the time there, it was their suggestion in fact, so I didn’t think it would be this big of a deal.

With the invitations was a card with the expectations one is to expect from the ceremony and the reception. I didn’t want to shock people when they arrived so I figured the cards would be a nice, classy heads up for our guests.

The drink service bit of the card said, essentially, that a**oholic drinks were limited to two per of age guest, the “tickets” are non-transferable, and like the other beverages offered would need to be ordered from your seat at your assigned table. Drinks were also to be enjoyed at your assigned table.

I’ve been called a lot of rude things after family (both sides) and friends are receiving their cards. My fiancé has as well but a little less so. The most common being “bridezilla” but I did have an uncle reach out to me and say I’m an a-hole for trying to, “spoil the fun of a wedding reception.”

The response has been mostly negative and has been from all sides of family and friends and now my head is swirling as I try to figure out what to do.
So, AITA because I’ve set my reception up like this and am not offering an open bar instead?

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

jrm1102 −  YTA Drinks were also to be enjoyed at your assigned table. Your ticket plan went from moderately novel to aggressively controlling the more you explained it. Are you going to have security tackle Aunt Joan if she gets out of her chair with a glass of chard in her hand?

IrrelevantManatee −  Your title is misleading. It’s totally OK to not have an open bar at a wedding. Even limiting consumption is kinda ok. But forcing people to drink it sitting at their assigned table ?! That’s over controlling. Just seems like you want your guests to jump through hoops for you for no good reasons than because you can because you are the bride. YTA.

BulbasaurRanch −  Yeah, this is taking it overboard. You can not have alcohol at your wedding if you want (people will leave early, so be prepared). But thinking you get to decide *where* they can have their drinks? Bizarre and controlling. You can’t reasonably limit people to their table like this.

I’m gonna go with YTA, cause this s**t is ridiculous. Your wedding sounds like an unenjoyable event to attend with so many restrictions for your “guests” being treated like school children.

BigBigBigTree −  Drinks were also to be enjoyed at your assigned table. ??? This isn’t classy, this is weird and condescending. Like you’re worried a 4 year old will spill his juice. YTA for that, even though in general a drink-ticket plan seems reasonable.

MissSuzieSunshine −  YTA The issue isnt the no open bar. Its not even the ticket concept (my son and his wife chose to have a dry wedding and it was no big deal). The issue IS you playing police about how and where they drink, additionally stating that the tickets are ‘non transferrable’ – thats ridiculous.

If 90 year old Aunt Betty doesnt want to have ANY alcohol and is happy to give her tickets to Uncle Joe, then why not? I get that you dont want sloppy drunk people or fights or bad behavior, but going as far as playing ‘dictator’ to guests who are 1) bringing (generally expensive) gifts for you 2) supposedly ‘family and friends’ and 3) all adults, is going way too far.

applebum8807 −  Eh, It’s one thing to not have an open bar, and I can get behind the drink tickets, but you start to become ridiculous at “you can only order and drink at your assigned table.” Like I’m sorry but it sounds like the wedding is taking place in a school cafeteria.. YTA

GoreGoddezz −  YTA. I hope you don’t plan on very many people coming to your wedding. Trying to control people from walking around with a drink at a wedding is literally ridiculous. Also… Most people wont want to leave their drinks unattended while they go say hello to this relative or that one.

If you have so little faith in your family to not get police escort drunk, make it a dry wedding so people can atleast walk around with juice or soda. Also… Spills are gonna happen. Its life. You literally cant control everything.

Active-Anteater1884 −  Look, you do what you want, but I’m not getting all dressed up, giving up a day of my life, possibly traveling long distance, and getting someone a nice gift in order to be treated like a child.

I mean, the chances of my drinking even two drinks at an event like this are just about nil, but being ordered about and being told that I can only enjoy my drink at my assigned table? I’m disallowed from enjoying a drink with my friend Marci at table four for some reason? Get out of there. YTA.

andromache97 −  i’m gonna say YTA based on the “Drinks were also to be enjoyed at your assigned table” rule. most people want to mingle. discouraging them from doing so is gonna kill the vibe.

Should the couple stick to their decision for a more controlled drinking environment, or are they being too strict? Share your thoughts below!