AITA for not offering an open bar at my wedding?

Weddings are a celebration of love, but they can also become battlegrounds for personal preferences and family expectations—especially when it comes to the finer details. In this case, our OP explains how she and her fiancé decided to forgo an open bar at their wedding in favor of a drink ticket system. This choice was rooted in her discomfort around heavy drinking due to her family’s history with alcohol. Rather than letting guests help themselves, the couple opted for a controlled, table-based service with strict limits on alcoholic beverages.

However, the decision has sparked an unexpected backlash. Family and friends have labeled her a “bridezilla” and accused her of spoiling the fun, arguing that her restrictions come off as overly controlling. Now, she’s left wondering if she’s in the wrong for setting the tone at her own celebration.

‘ AITA for not offering an open bar at my wedding?’

When it comes to planning a wedding, there is no one-size-fits-all approach. Many couples choose to forgo the traditional open bar for a more manageable alternative like drink tickets, especially if personal or family experiences with alcohol have shaped their views.

Wedding planner and hospitality expert Sarah Ellis notes, “Couples have every right to design their reception to reflect their values. If limiting alcohol is important for creating a comfortable and safe environment, then a ticket system can be a smart choice.” (For further insights, see Sarah Ellis’ Wedding Tips).

On the other hand, experts also warn that overly restrictive policies can dampen the celebratory atmosphere. Social psychologist Dr. Mark Bennett explains, “Mingling and the freedom to move about with a drink in hand often contribute to a relaxed, festive vibe at events.

When you impose strict rules—such as requiring guests to remain at their assigned tables—it can inadvertently make people feel like they’re being controlled rather than celebrated.” This suggests that while the intention behind the restrictions is understandable, the execution might be perceived as overbearing by some guests.

Balancing safety and fun is key. A middle ground might involve offering a drink ticket system without overly rigid rules about where and how guests can enjoy their drinks. Adjusting these details could help maintain the intended atmosphere without compromising the couple’s values.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

The Reddit community is divided on the issue. Some commenters applaud the couple for taking a stand on their personal comfort, arguing that it’s perfectly acceptable to manage alcohol consumption in a way that suits the hosts. Others, however, feel that dictating not only the amount but also the location where guests can consume their drinks comes off as overly controlling—reminiscent of treating guests like schoolchildren. The debate underscores a broader tension between the desire for a safe, controlled environment and the expectation that weddings should feel free and spontaneous.

Ultimately, the decision to replace an open bar with a drink ticket system is a personal one, shaped by individual experiences and values. While the intention is to create a safer, more comfortable setting, the strict enforcement—such as mandating that drinks be consumed only at assigned tables—has left some guests feeling restricted and micromanaged. Is it fair to impose such detailed rules on your own wedding reception, or should a celebration allow for a bit more spontaneity?

What are your thoughts on finding the balance between ensuring safety and preserving a festive atmosphere? Share your opinions and experiences in the comments below.