AITA for not making my fiancés breakfast correctly on the first try and then getting upset by her comments after?
A 32-year-old man offered to make his fiancée breakfast while she worked from home. After forgetting to put mayo on her bacon and egg sandwich, she reacted by saying, “It’s fucked now,” which upset him. He felt her comment implied he ruined the meal.
Despite trying to explain it was an easy fix, she continued to express dissatisfaction, mentioning she expected a fried egg. When he got upset, she claimed she was just making comments and accused him of being the problem. The man is now questioning whether he overreacted.
‘ AITA for not making my fiancés breakfast correctly on the first try and then getting upset by her comments after?’
My(32m) fiancé(31f) was working from home this morning. I asked her if she would like some bacon and an egg sandwich, she said yes. She does prefer mayo on both sides of the toast when she has this but as I prepared it all, I forgot.
As soon as I set it in front of her, I remembered and said “hold on I forgot the mayo and I’ll go put it on real quick.” to which she replied, “forget it, it’s fucked now.”. I got upset by this comment as it made me feel as if I had somehow ruined breakfast so I tried to explain that it was an easy remedy and the sandwich was most definitely not “fucked”.
She told me to just forget it again so I went back into the kitchen and finished making my sandwich and sat down. She came in and started to talk about how she thought it would be a fried egg, which again, just felt like she was complaining about nothing as I never said I would be making a fried egg, just stated bacon and an egg sandwich.
When I got upset that she seemed to still just be complaining, she basically told me that I was wrong, she wasn’t complaining and was just making comments and I was being an a**hole for being upset since she didn’t say anything wrong. AITA?
Here’s the comments of Reddit users:
owls_and_cardinals − NTA. Here’s a great solution though – never make her anything ever again. Or d**p her, that’s another good option. She sounds e**itled and ungrateful AF. The fact that she tried to walk back and twist what she’d said is the icing on the cake.
“I wasn’t complaining when I said ‘forget it, it’s fucked’, I was just making a neutral comment.” – that’s g**lighting, and a pretty a**orrent way to treat you.
HootleMart84 − NTA. If she’s willing to be a j**k over a sandwich, imagine what she’s like over other major decisions. Can you just, end the engagement, but call it an eggagement. No reason. Just to infuriate her.
Anguscablejnr − Hey, hey you know her saying it’s fucked repeatedly isn’t ok. Respect yourself. Maybe she had a bad day maybe there is context here. But if she’s just like that spitting in the face of your kind gestures. Then she’s not good enough for you.. NTA king
ScoogyShoes − NTA. You realize this is a deeper problem, right? Like – I hope your wedding is at least a year out.
maui_scoop − I am always hugely appreciative of a man who will cook me breakfast, even if it’s not EXACTLY what I had in mind. Your fiancee sounds like a spoiled b**t.
redditeamos − NTA. But your fiancee 100% is. Let me count the ways:
1. Critical and a**sive (you don’t need to yell to be an abuser) when you realized your mistake.
2. Unkind and cruel when you suggested a solution that 100% would have worked. How is a sandwich fucked if you only mayo’d one side? It can EASILY be fixed. np
3. Doubles down on wanting to make you feel incompetent and is disappointed that she didn’t get something that was never promised.
4. Tries to turn you in the villain and make you feel like you’re the #sshole because you felt upset for being treated badly. NOBODY gets to tell you what you are allowed to feel or not feel. NOBODY.
5. Shows zero gratitude or appreciation that you considered her and asked if she wanted breakfast, tried to fix it when you made a “mistake”.
6. Class A g**lighting: You were kind and she smacked you over the head with it and tried to make you seem like a j**k.Is she this type of person in other situations? Does she appreciate you at all? Have you always had “need to please” fears?
Just the fact that you’re here wondering if you were in the wrong is worrisome. Please respect yourself. You don’t have to earn your place with someone. And small mistakes don’t warrant cruelty.
vestakia82 − NTA – I work late nights and I came home last night to a BLT sandwich ready for me on my bedside table. I was starving and had not thought about dinner, but my wonderful boyfriend had!
If you cook for your significant other, they should appreciate it, and something so small as forgetting mayo shouldn’t be a big deal. You should find someone who appreciates you!
1-Dragonfly − Sounds like a fun life… good luck
MackinawDreams − NTA. Why are you with someone who doesn’t even appreciate how you make her breakfast? You were doing a nice thing for her. The appropriate response from her would have been “This looks and smells amazing.
Thank you!” Unfortunately criticism comes easier than gratitude to many miserable people.This cannot be the only time she has treated you this way. I’m guessing it’s just the most recent example.. Edit: added middle paragraph
Repeat4Reps − “forget it, it’s fucked now.” There is no way that this wasn’t complaining, and inconsiderate on top of it. Calling you an a**hole for being justifiably upset with her behavior is the cherry on top. So no, NTA – this was a kind offer from your side that she decided to wipe with.
Is it reasonable for the man to feel hurt by his fiancée’s comments, or did she have a valid expectation for her breakfast? How should couples handle small misunderstandings without escalating into conflict? Share your thoughts in the comments!
