AITA for not letting teammates use my kid’s goalie pads?

A Redditor faces a dilemma with other parents in their child’s recreational hockey league. Their 8-year-old plays goalie and has a full, well-fitted set of personal gear, which took time and effort to adjust.

Because the league rotates positions and has limited, poorly fitting equipment, other parents have started asking to borrow this user’s kid’s goalie pads for their own kids.

When the Redditor politely refused, explaining they didn’t want the equipment adjustments disturbed, it caused tension, and they’ve noticed a shift in how other parents interact with them. Now they’re wondering if they’re being unreasonable. Read the full story below.

‘ AITA for not letting teammates use my kid’s goalie pads?’

My 8yo plays goalie in a rec hockey league. Through birthdays and Christmas gifts, we’ve outiftted them with a full set of equipment: helmet and dangler, chest protector, leg pads, goalie pants, blocker/catcher. All in, nearly $1000.

Because its a rec league, the expectation is that the kids will rotate into different positions at the start of the season. The league has a limited number of sets of goalie pads to borrow. Most are beaten to hell and there’s no guarantee you’re getting stuff that fits properly.

Last year, the set the team had were far too big for my kids spindly legs. They had to play with their skater’s shin guards under the goalie pads just to get a big enough diameter for the straps to tighten around their leg.

More than a few parents have mentioned borrowing my kid’s equipment when their kid is in net. Things like, “oh, we’ll have to really loosen all the adjustments up on that stuff to get it on my kid next week”, or “I’d want to clean it before [her kid] puts it on, is it safe to throw it in the washing machine?”

I told another parent, “sorry, it took us a long time to get everything adjusted for my kid and we’re not comfortable lending it out”. Its created a rift with the other parents.

Where we used to be part of the group chitchatting in the stands with the other parents, now we aren’t. Invitations for my kid to play outside of hockey used to be plentiful, now they have dried up.. Am I the a**hole?

Check out how the community responded:

previouslyonimgur −  Nta. As someone who’s played and coached hockey and other sports. Nope. Not even slightly. Don’t even make excuses, simply, no. This type of equipment is not meant to be shared. Goalie equipment is a pain and expensive. Asking to share goalie gear is the equivalent of asking to share skates.

I would say that if your kid isn’t playing goalie every game, spending the money on goalie equipment seems a bit much. But if your kid wants to just be goalie it makes sense.

InValuAbled −  NTA. Lesson learned. People like you as far as they can use you. You could have said you’re renting it from some other place or someone. The rental fee is $150 per day, and you’ll be happy to help arrange contact with the actual owner.. That would stop this nonsense.

As it is, perhaps try saying your child has experienced extreme dermatitis from borrowing that club equipment, so you had to buy and keep it away from others for health reasons. Also, WTF is with their presumptuous entitlement to someone’s stuff?

No-Category5363 −  Wait, so they’re just talking about using your kid’s stuff without actually asking if it would be ok first? Definitely NTA, and it’s pretty rude of them to exclude your kid from stuff over some gear.

dryadduinath −  NTA. The only way this makes sense to me is if the other parents are under the impression it’s the property of the team? But that would be their mistake for assuming, and punishing a child because of their parent would be messed up even if you *were* in the wrong. 

Unhappy-Prune-9914 −  NTA – If they feel this entitled to your things now, it will only get worse if you start saying yes. I also doubt any of them would pay you back if something got ruined. Your equipment would also go through wear and tear and you’d have to replace them a lot quicker. Why on earth would you want this? Their behavior tells me you’d have other issues with them too.

Grouchywhennhungry −  I’d put in the group chat that it’s clear that parents aren’t happy with the poor quality equipment on offer given the amount of requests you’ve had to use your sons.

Therefore you suggest that any parents not happy with the current options could all pitch in to purchase a set – the cost is £1000 so the 5 (made this up) parents who’ve asked for yours put £200 in,if more people want to pitch in the cost goes down. .  

East_Parking8340 −  They just want to take advantage of YOUR dedication to both your child and the team and not spend any money. I think it’s incredibly presumptuous that’s they’d ask you how to clean your own stuff so their list can use it.. NTA

Ecstatic_Aardvark240 −  Nta. I get that a lot of people can’t spend that much money for their kid’s hobbies, but that doesn’t mean you have to do it for them.

WingShooter_28ga −  NTA. You guys paid to get your kid the appropriate gear for the position because you didn’t like the gear provided by the team. They have the same option.

HouseAndJBug −  NTA. Years ago my little brother’s friend asked to use my old pads so he could try goalie. He played a few times and decided to stick with it, so his parents bought him new equipment and he returned my pads.

He had removed the toe ties, boot straps, and thigh boards (this was before those were banned), when I had my brother ask him to return those parts he said he’d thrown them away. I had to spend time and money replacing those parts so they’d have any resale value. I wouldn’t let anyone borrow my stuff without a deposit after that experience.

Do you think the Redditor was right to set boundaries on lending out their child’s expensive gear, or should they have made an exception to help the team? How would you handle this kind of parent drama in youth sports? Share your thoughts below!