AITA for Refusing to Pay for My Son’s New Boyfriend’s Vacation When I’m Covering Everyone Else?
When family vacations collide with fleeting romances, who foots the bill? A father’s refusal to pay for his son’s latest boyfriend sparks accusations of homophobia—but is it really about money or something deeper?
‘ AITA for Refusing to Pay for My Son’s New Boyfriend’s Vacation When I’m Covering Everyone Else?’
Expert Opinions
Family Dynamics and Financial Boundaries
Dr. Jane Adams, family therapist: “Blended families often struggle with fairness in financial decisions. OP’s stance isn’t about exclusion—it’s about setting boundaries with a son who frequently changes partners. Paying for a stranger’s vacation sets a precedent that could lead to future entitlement.”
Accusations of Homophobia in Family Conflicts
LGBTQ+ advocate Michael Garcia: “While homophobia is a serious issue, weaponizing the term in unrelated disputes undermines its significance. OP’s refusal isn’t rooted in bias—it’s about practicality and fairness.”
The Impact of Fleeting Relationships on Family Events
Sociologist Dr. Emily Carter: “Short-term relationships can complicate family gatherings, especially when financial support is involved. Families must balance inclusivity with practicality to avoid resentment.”
Check out how the community responded:
Community Opinions
Summary: Redditors overwhelmingly side with OP, calling his son entitled and dismissing the homophobia accusation. Key themes:
- “NTA. One month isn’t long enough to warrant a free vacation.”
- “Your son’s using ‘homophobia’ as a guilt trip.”
- “Paying for a stranger is ridiculous.”
Should parents pay for their children’s short-term partners to attend family events? When does inclusivity cross into entitlement?
No way should a new friend be on a family vacation. end of story.
NTA. We had a similar problem with a nephew. Each year we would host my husband’s family at a lake side cottage. My mother had a rule that the non-family members had to be engaged before being in family pictures which we stuck to so at least we had pictures without the girlfriend of the week (of course now a long term SO would qualify). Eventually we had to implement a rule that they had to be dating at least 6 months before even being able to come.
I would uninvited the son for being rude and a complete a@#.
He will ruin the special trip.
He feels entitled and doesn’t deserve to be there.
I would never expect my parents to do that. If it was his husband or wife or long term partner…. different circumstances.
Did anyone consider that this boyfriend has ALWAYS been in the picture? Dad may be “okay” with lesbian daughter and her wife *they are girls* but his SON-with a guy- maybe long term 🤔
If everyone else is coupled up, then your son should be able to bring a guest. People bring dates to events all the time that may be a new relationship that lasts a lifetime. Or not. But I think assuming it won’t last seems unfair. Either you pay for all of your kids guests or you only pay for your kids. I would be upset and feel like you were acting out of not liking your son’s choice of partners. A lot of men have issues with gay men relationships but not with lesbian women in relationships. Not saying that’s you, but it can appear that way. Plus he’s young, he should date a variety of people. The point is, can he bring someone as his siblings have or are you singling out your son? Your incredible generosity stopped at him. I’d be annoyed with you.
You made a mistake telling your son his bf was welcome to come but you wouldn’t pay for the flight. You made it about money at that point. Is it about the money or about not wanting to have such a new person spending such intimate time with the family on vacation? The latter is much more understandable. At this point tell your son no significant other is invited and he gets to come spend time with the family.