AITA for not letting my best friend have her wedding on my property after being uninvited?

A Reddit user shared a dilemma involving his best friend, Carla, who asked to hold her wedding on his property. However, after Carla’s fiancé found out about her past relationship with him, the user was uninvited from the wedding.

Despite this, Carla and her fiancé still wanted to use his property for their event, asking him and his wife to leave their home for the weekend. Now, he’s left wondering if he’s wrong for refusing. Read the full story below.

‘ AITA for not letting my best friend have her wedding on my property after being uninvited?’

One of my (29M) best friends “Carla” (31f) is getting married soon. It’s only meant to be a small backyard type of wedding but they’ve been planning it for a few months now and originally it was supposed to be on my property.

They wanted it because it’s private, has lots of open space for the reception, a nice view and the house could be used for them to get ready and stuff. Of course I said yes, she and her fiancé “Rick” were very happy. Thing is Carla and I do have a history.

We went out on & off in college but decided to stay friends. Then I met my wife, we got married, Carla met Rick and now here they are.
Now my wife knows I went out with Carla back in college and she didn’t care. Carla still went to our wedding and everything.

I never knew if Rick was told or not, it’s not my relationship therefore not my business to say anything so I never did. Rick found out recently and not in the best way. Not sure how but from what I heard from friends is that one mutual friend told him (no idea why) we used to date.

Not only that but apparently Carla said a couple years ago she was still in love with me when she was already dating Rick. Don’t have actual confirmation if that’s exactly what he was told. All Carla’s told me is that Rick was told about our past and he’s angry at her for never saying anything.

It became quite a drama and didnt hear from her for over a month until now. She told me they’re going to couples counseling and that the wedding is still on. But Rick requested that I not attend. It sucks but I totally get why he wouldn’t be comfortable.

Then I asked the obvious question, where are they going to hold the wedding then? To my surprise she said they still want it at our place.
Rick said so to and in my mind I’m going “he doesn’t want the guy who dated his fiancée years ago at the wedding, but still wants the wedding at his house.”

My wife and I are expected to just…not be at our home that weekend, And I told Carla no. They’re going to have to find some place else since we’re not going to simply leave our home to them for the weekend. Not only for safety reasons but it just doesn’t make sense.

Rick doesn’t want me around because he’s not comfortable but is comfortable enough to have their wedding at my house? They really want their wedding here though and because of that I’ve been bugged by not only her but also Rick and some friends who think I’m being a petty a**hole for not letting them have the wedding here anymore.

Honestly don’t think that I am, it just doesn’t make sense at all to have to leave our own place for a wedding we’re no longer welcome to and leaving our home totally vulnerable. Still, being accused of sabotaging their wedding and Rick believes it’s the least I can do after everything. AITA?

See what others had to share with OP:

pomme_dor −  Rick doesn’t want to get married anymore but doesn’t want to be the bad guy breaking up with his fiancee, so he’s put her in an impossible position so he can get the sympathy when they split.. NTA.

WonderfulAtmosphere −  NTA- what a weird request. Do you typically host wedding receptions on your property? He can go pay for a venue if he’s going to act like that.. if they even end up getting married.

DelightfulAbsurdity −  NTA, if he is uncomfortable by your presence, he is welcome to shell out a deposit on short notice for another venue.

No way in hell would I allow myself to be run off my own property by an insecure man to use as he sees fit, even just for a day. Malicious destruction on top of typical wedding party mess? No, thank you.

OkapiEli −  So RIck thinks this is the least you can do after “everything” … meaning, after you had her first??! Omg, I wish her luck with that one. NTA. I don’t think there should be a wedding at all, and since your question is about the location, Nope, not at your place.

snootnoots −  Holy cow, NTA. “Rick believes it’s the least I can do after everything.” After *what*? After he found out his fiancée said she still had feelings for you? After he got mad at his fiancée for hiding details from her past, because she knew he wouldn’t like them?

After you… broke up amicably with her long before they got together, moved on, got married to a different woman, and were going to do them a huge favour?! The things he’s mad about are all things *Carla* did.

He’s displacing his anger onto you as a “safe” target, because he doesn’t want to break up with her and doesn’t know how to work through anger and trust issues in a healthy way, therefore it has to be *your* fault… somehow.

Hopefully their couples therapist will work out what’s going on and help him get through it to a more healthy mindset, but that’s not your problem, and neither is the question of where they’re going to hold the wedding now that Rick’s completely torpedoed the original plan.

nathashanails −  NTA. It’s absolutely ridiculous that they not only uninvited you, but that they still expect you to let them have the wedding on your property. How can they honestly expect to just kick you out of your own home for a weekend? Are they even paying you to let them have their wedding at your place?

[Reddit User] −  NTA. They are not entitled to your property. You were doing them a favor.

Status_Percentage −  NTA. Rick is being delusional and seems to have insecurity and jealousy issues. If this is how he is, I don’t see the marriage lasting long.

[Reddit User] −  Nta. So you’re not invited because you had history, but they’re fine enough to still take advantage of YOUR home? The audacity. Don’t be surprised if they get drunk and start trashing your home.. They’re just cheapskates.

Knitsanity −  NTA. I am astounded that anyone would think otherwise. This would probably also do well on r/choosingbeggars. No way should you allow your property to be used. Lol.

What do you think? Was it reasonable for the user to decline his friend’s request, or should he have agreed as a way to support Carla’s big day? Share your thoughts below!