AITA for not letting a stranger “borrow” my address as a family favor?
A woman was asked by her aunt to let a stranger, her potential future restaurant cook, use her Washington address to renew his driver’s license illegally. The aunt claimed it was essential for her plans to buy a restaurant,
but the woman refused, worried about legality and not wanting to involve herself in shady dealings. Her refusal has led to tension and possible gossip within her family. read the original story below…
‘ AITA for not letting a stranger “borrow” my address as a family favor?’
My aunt reached out on Thanksgiving and asked for a favor. My family was close with relatives when i was young, I havent seen them for 10 yrs and generally dont keep any regular contact, this aunt sometimes txts/calls on holidays.
She is hoping to buy out a small restaurant that she’s worked at for the past 7 years (the owner keeps going back & forth about selling because profits are good). There is just 1 cook so he’s an essential part in keeping the restaurant run smoothly.
The cook is in the process of getting a marriage green card but the process is taking a while and his driver’s license is expiring next month. Aunt lives in TX. Im in WA.
This cook paid a “broker” years ago to help him get a WA driver’s license (easier for non-citizens). So my aunt wants me to help renew this cook’s DL by letting him “borrow” my address because a valid WA address is required.
The new license will be sent there by DMV and someone needs to forward the license to where the cook actually lives. I asked why he can’t use the address he already has on his current license. She said it costs money (a couple thousand).
I’m not sure WHY she’s concerned over this cook’s personal problems but I am assuming from the circumstance that she thinks she needs to do him a favor as an incentive for him to continue working as the restaurant’s cook even after she buys out the business (still undetermined) or maybe the owner requested it.
She was overall pretty vague about the ‘why’, and just said that this favor is really important to her and her (potentially) future business. I, in a roundabout way, told her I’m not sure about letting a stranger use my address to be put on his license (pretty sure this is illegal?);
so it might be best for everyone to just have him figure it out on his own, even if it will cost money. My aunt hasn’t responded to me since. I’m 200% sure she is calling me a cold heartless b’tch behind my back with the other aunts and my mom.
Side note, I’ve cut off communication with my mom completely couple years ago because I couldn’t handle her toxic, selfish, and judgmental presence in my life anymore. I talked to my dad about the situation hoping to get some support but he doesn’t think that it’s a big deal and why not help out a family; but do what i want.
His tone implied im overreacting. So now I’m second-guessing everything and thinking AM I overreacting? AITA for not doing this for “family”? I havent slept well all weekend being anxious and overthinking.
I truly need an outside perspective on this because my family uses “because we’re family” to excuse everything and my husband is the only one telling me your fam is not normal (I never discuss family stuff with friends).
Am I overreacting for thinking this is illegal and not agreeing to the favor? Is this really a not-a-big-deal kind of thing and I was not being considerate enough about my aunt’s situation? AITA?
These are the responses from Reddit users:
ReviewOk929 − NTA – Don’t get involved in shady s**t whoever is asking let alone for a semi estranged Aunt on behalf of a random cook from Texas. And you will not sleep well once you’ve done it because it will always be nagging you as to when the cops are gonna show up at your door.
StAlvis − NTA. Don’t commit fraud.
Independent_Tie_4984 − NTA Your Aunt is an a**hole for asking – period, end of story. If she has a problem with you saying “absolutely not” cut her out of your life.
k23_k23 − NTA Don’t do irt. WHY would you allow some stranger to establish residence at your adress?
CakeisaDie − NTA Don’t involve yourself in whatever fraudulent behavior your aunt is peddling. (Not sure what you would be violating but I’m sure it’s not okay in some way)
TheZZ9 − NTA. This is literally criminal. Lying on an official government document. Aside from that the risk of fraud, debts, bad credit, etc that could be attached to your address.
This could cause major problems for you down the line. It could even stop you getting credit or a mortgage. Don’t do it and monitor your mail very carefully. Locking your credit is also a prudent move generally.
lemon_charlie − NTA. This guy has no connection to you or your house, don’t establish any such connection. If your gut feeling is that something isn’t right, listen to that. You haven’t had contact with your aunt for ten years, you don’t owe her any favour let alone one like this.
Habitual-Reject − NTA. Don’t do shady sh\*t “bEcAuSe FaMiLy” …. because when this all goes pear shaped (and it will go pear shaped) your Aunt will conveniently forget that you are family and throw you under the bus without a second thought.
16Bunny − And if a driving license arrives for this person at your address anyway, send it back to DMV saying that this person is not at your address. Don’t get involved under any circumstances with this.
Is she right to prioritize her boundaries and legal concerns, or should she have helped for the sake of “family”? What would you do in her situation? Share your thoughts below!