AITA for not lending money to my friend?
A 23-year-old was excited about a famous K-pop group’s upcoming concert but noticed her friend, “A,” couldn’t afford tickets. The user’s mom kindly offered to lend A the money, but the user declined, citing A’s inconsistent behavior and uncertainty about repayment.
Later, A expressed anger toward the user, likely due to jealousy over her ability to attend the concert. Now, the user feels conflicted about whether her decision was fair. read the original story below…
‘ AITA for not lending money to my friend?’
About a week ago, it was announced that a famous kpop group was gonna come to my country and hold a concert in april. My (23F) friends A (21F) and D (19F) were so excited about this and so I was because I just had begun to listen to them, but we were anxious about the whole thing because literally we had 4 DAYS to prepare ourselves.
A told our friend group that she was gonna find a way to get money, so I don’t get how she thought that I would be the one to lend her the money for the ticket. I told her I was going to the concert thanks to my mom because she gifted the ticket to me as a Christmas present, otherwise I wouldn’t have thought of going.
She then asked her parents for money, at first they gave her hope but when she asked them a second time, they told her they didn’t had any so she wasn’t going. My friends and I felt bad for her since she has been a fan of the kpop group for years and this was her only chance to seeing them live.
I talked to my mom about the situation and without me saying anything, she agreed on lending her the money for the ticket. I immediately refused because 1) I didn’t know if she was going to pay me soon (more like her parents were, since she doesn’t have a job and they can’t afford it right now),
2) she has had a weird behavior towards me and our friend group that for me is getting annoying since we haven’t been bad to her in any way. And I have a little update from when I started writing this: A has told D that she hates me but didn’t give out a reason for it,
but i’m assuming is because i’m going to the concert and I think she is jealous of me, not only this time, but has ALWAYS been. Maybe it is because we have different lifestyles and, from what she has told me and the rest of our friend group,
her parents are not loving and caring and mine are in comparison. But I don’t know. I didn’t tell my friends my mom wanted to lend A money, and I feel a little guilty because it’s like i’m crushing her dreams, but at the same time she hasn’t been a good friend to me. AITA?
These are the responses from Reddit users:
LovelyyZoey − NTA, you don’t owe her anything, especially if she’s been acting like that with you. usually, concerts are announced way before the release of the tickets, if she really wanted to go, she could’ve got a part-time job to save some money
warclonex − INFO A told our friend group that she was gonna find a way to get money, so I don’t get how she thought that I would be the one to lend her the money for the ticket. At what point did she actually ask you to lend her money….because the post doesnt actually say anything about it?
Nester1953 − Your mom was very generous to want to lend your friend the money. But knowing that your friend had no job and likely had no way to pay your mom back, so your mom likely would be losing her money, you didn’t follow through with her offer.
There’s nothing wrong with protecting your mother’s finances! It’s wise and considerate. Also, if this girl is running around telling people she hates you, please don’t make excuses for her. I’m sorry her parents aren’t supportive and that she has a different lifestyle,
but this doesn’t give her an excuse to do something like this. Jealousy is not an excuse. Someone who tells others she hates you is not your friend, and you get to walk away without guilt.. Enjoy the concert!. NTA
Angeliina-xoxo − It’s understandable not to lend money if you’re unsure she can pay you back, especially with the tension between you two. You’re not an AH for protecting your boundaries, but maybe a conversation about the jealousy and your friendship could help clear things up.
the_birdie_chirp − nta… But your all adults… And acting like its high school kids… You need better friends, actual functioning adults would do you good, your 23…
tsaw − NTA and congrats on seeing stray kids (?)
cookieninja4242 − Not stray kids breaking friendships LOL nta
LoubyAnnoyed − NTA. She’s not really your friend. Instead of being happy for you, and asking you to pick up some merchandise for her, she is getting around telling everyone she hates you. That level of jealousy means she was never your friend.
Worth-Season3645 − NTA…The concert is in April. Plenty of time to get a job and save money for a ticket.
EmilyMitchelly − NTA. Your finances and who you choose to involve in them are your business, especially when it comes to lending money. It’s prudent to be cautious about lending to someone with a history of negativity towards you and your friends.
You’re protecting your mom from potential financial harm and stress. It’s important to set boundaries, and you’re within your rights to advise your mom against lending money under these circumstances.
Balancing friendships and financial boundaries is tough. Should the user have helped her friend despite their strained relationship, or was she right to protect her peace? What would you do in this situation? Share your thoughts below!