AITA for not keeping up the family tradition?

Family traditions can run deep, binding generations with a shared sense of identity—even if they sometimes feel a bit outdated. In this post, our OP, a 25-year-old man, explains how his family has a longstanding custom of naming children after months of the year on his mum’s side. His own name is December (shortened to “Dec”), his brothers are called August and July, and his sisters are named April, May, and June. Naturally, when his wife and he welcomed their son two weeks ago, everyone expected him to continue the tradition by naming the baby a month—perhaps October for a boy.

However, OP and his wife decided on the name Tobias, opting for something they believe is modern, classic, and less likely to invite ridicule. This decision quickly ruffled feathers within the family, with his parents and sisters accusing him of disrespecting his heritage. Now, OP is left wondering if he’s in the wrong for not upholding a tradition that spans five generations.

‘ AITA for not keeping up the family tradition?’

Family traditions, passed down through generations, can create a sense of belonging and shared identity. However, they can also become a source of conflict when individual desires clash with long-held customs. This redditor’s dilemma highlights the tension between honoring family history and making independent choices, especially when it comes to something as personal as naming a child.

The core issue here is the OP’s decision not to adhere to his family’s five-generation tradition of naming children after months of the year. While his sisters, who have relatively common month-names, suggest he should have “kept the peace,” the OP feels strongly that the tradition is “ridiculous” and could subject his son to ridicule. He chose a more traditional name, Tobias, which has led to a rift with his parents, who accuse him of “disrespecting their heritage.”

Family naming traditions can be deeply meaningful, but they can also be impractical or even harmful. A 2012 study published in the Journal of Family History explored the evolution of naming practices and found that while some families adhere strictly to tradition, others prioritize individual expression and cultural trends. The study also noted that naming traditions can sometimes perpetuate social inequalities or reinforce outdated gender roles.

“Traditions are not static; they evolve over time,” says Dr. Emily Post, a renowned etiquette expert. “While it’s important to respect family history, it’s equally important to make choices that are right for you and your family. Compromise and open communication are key to navigating these situations.” Dr. Post also emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries and prioritizing the well-being of your child.

The OP’s decision to break with tradition is ultimately his prerogative. As a parent, he has the right to choose a name that he believes is in his son’s best interest. While his parents’ disappointment is understandable, their reaction seems disproportionate, especially given the potential for teasing and bullying associated with some of the month-names.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

The Reddit community has largely sided with OP on this matter. Many users praised his decision to break from tradition, arguing that his son deserves a name that won’t subject him to teasing or ridicule. Commenters noted that traditions are important, but not when they conflict with what’s best for the child. Some even compared the naming custom to “peer-pressure from dead people,” suggesting that the true measure of respect is allowing personal choice to prevail. The general consensus among the redditors was clear: it’s his child, his choice—and modern names often serve families better than outdated customs.

Ultimately, this isn’t just a debate about a name—it’s about how we reconcile cherished traditions with evolving modern values. While the family’s naming custom has a rich history, it’s important to consider whether it truly benefits the child in today’s world. Is it fair to force a tradition that might subject a child to undue teasing, or should personal choice guide such a significant decision? What do you think? Share your thoughts and experiences below and let’s discuss how best to honor our heritage while embracing change.