AITA for not inviting my sister to my wedding after she RSVP’d “no” and then changed her mind?
A newlywed woman planned an intimate wedding for 50 guests, only to face drama when her sister, Anna, who RSVP’d “no” months earlier due to a vacation, changed her mind two weeks before the event. By then, plans were finalized, and the bride explained she couldn’t accommodate her sister without disrupting arrangements.
Anna accused her of being a “bridezilla,” and their parents sided with Anna, saying family should come first. Now, the bride wonders if standing her ground was too harsh. read the original story below…
‘ AITA for not inviting my sister to my wedding after she RSVP’d “no” and then changed her mind?’
I (29F) recently got married to the love of my life, Jake (31M). We spent a year planning our wedding, and it was a small, intimate affair with close friends and family—about 50 people. My sister, Anna (34F), has always been a bit of a wildcard. We’re not super close, but we’ve always been cordial.
When I sent out invites six months before the wedding, Anna RSVP’d “no” almost immediately. She told me she and her husband, Tom, had a vacation planned that week and couldn’t reschedule it. I was a little hurt, but I understood. Fast forward to two weeks before the wedding.
Anna called me and said their vacation had been canceled due to work conflicts, and now she wanted to come to the wedding. By this point, everything was finalized—seating arrangements, catering, even the personalized place cards.
I told her that while I loved her and wished she could be there, it was too late to add anyone to the guest list. She got upset, saying I should be happy she could now come and that family should always have a spot.
I stood my ground and explained that it wasn’t personal, but she went on to call me a “bridezilla” and accused me of not caring about her feelings. My parents later got involved, saying I should’ve made room for her since she’s my sister, but Jake and I agreed it was too late to accommodate her without disrupting the arrangements.
The wedding went off without a hitch, but Anna hasn’t spoken to me since. My parents keep pressuring me to apologize, saying family is more important than logistics. Some of my friends think I was too rigid, while others think Anna was being unreasonable. So, AITA for not letting my sister come to the wedding after she initially RSVP’d “no”?
Check out how the community responded:
Beneficial-Year-one − “My parents keep pressuring me to apologize, saying family is more important than logistics.”. Yet her vacation could not be cancelled for your wedding, but could be for work conflicts. NTA
adobeacrobatreader − NTA. She prioritized her vacation over you, so you prioritized your wedding over her. You’re a better person than me. I would have told her I didn’t want her there, no matter how much room we had or not.
wlfwrtr − NTA Tell parents if family is so important why didn’t they tell her to cancel her vacation. She had no problem canceling for her husband’s work but couldn’t cancel it for family. Apparently family has no meaning to sister and parents unless it benefits them three.
RutabagaCurious3279 − NTA. She made a choice to skip the wedding. Is she going to apologize for not planning to come originally? I couldn’t imagine not attending a sibling’s wedding.
Wrong-Local2790 − NTA! She literally said she had better things to do, then when that couldn’t happen, she went with the second choice. You don’t deserve that disrespect.
Ok_Bit1981 − Ask your parents; “My sister gets away with prioritizing her vacay over my wedding, right? But now it’s “family always has a place,” when her plans fizzle? I’m supposed to accommodate her needs because she’s family, but f*ck my feelings? Am i not family?”
NTA! Time to reevaluate who has a place at your table; this shouldn’t be one-sided and everyone who disagrees with you clearly picked your sister over you.
Time-Improvement6653 − RSVPs serve a very specific purpose. NTA (serious déjà vu here… have you posted this already, or are you in a familiar situation, or is my brain just glitching? 😅)
ElimGarakOfCardassia − Why is it “family is more important” when it comes to messing up your plans, but not hers?. Nope. NTA.
Perfect_Ring3489 − Nta. She cancelled. Tough on her
Itakfulea1 − NTA. Wedding planning is like building a Jenga tower; you can’t just pull out a block from the bottom and not expect things to wobble! You had everything set based on the RSVPs you received, including your sister’s firm “no.”
It’s tough when plans fall through, but wedding logistics aren’t easily altered at the last minute without causing a domino effect of complications. It’s not about not wanting her there, but rather sticking to the plan to avoid chaos. You’re not a bridezilla for wanting your wedding day to go smoothly, you’re just a bride who needed a final headcount.
Balancing logistics and family dynamics can be tricky, especially for a big day like a wedding. Was the bride justified in maintaining her plans, or should she have made an exception for her sister? Share your perspective below!