AITA for not inviting my nephew on vacation?

For over two decades, one devoted family member has turned an annual vacation into a legacy—a tradition that unites siblings and cousins on carefully planned adventures around the world. Traveling to destinations as diverse as Turkey, South Africa, and Iceland, the organizer has always covered the tour and transport costs while the family takes care of incidentals. This long-running tradition, costing between $4000 and $6000 per person and planned nearly two years in advance, is a labor of love that reflects both generosity and an unyielding passion for travel.

However, one recurring challenge has cast a shadow over these trips: the nephew in his late twenties. Despite RSVPing enthusiastically for the past four trips, he has consistently canceled at the last minute—forcing the organizer to shoulder unrecoverable expenses. Now, as plans for a Galapagos cruise in October 2026 take shape, the decision has been made not to extend an invitation to him, sparking outrage and accusations of selfishness from other family members.

‘AITA for not inviting my nephew on vacation?’

Navigating family dynamics, especially when money and longstanding traditions are involved, can be a challenging endeavor. In this scenario, the decision to exclude the unreliable nephew is not simply a matter of cutting off a family member; it’s about safeguarding the integrity of a cherished family tradition.

The repeated cancellations, which have cost the organizer thousands of dollars over the years, highlight a clear pattern of behavior that disrupts the carefully orchestrated plans meant to bring the family together. When one person’s irresponsibility begins to affect the group’s collective experience, tough decisions become inevitable.

Family therapist Dr. Emily Harrison explains, “Consistency and reliability are key ingredients in maintaining family traditions that involve significant time and financial commitments. When one member repeatedly disrupts these efforts, it not only creates financial strain but also emotional discord among the rest of the family”. Dr. Harrison further emphasizes that setting boundaries is essential for preserving not only the tradition itself but also the organizer’s well-being. In such cases, clear communication about expectations and consequences can pave the way for more responsible behavior in the future.

In this instance, the organizer’s attempt to compromise by asking the nephew for a refundable deposit—intended to cover potential losses—was met with even more resistance from the family. This reaction underscores a broader issue: when a family tradition is repeatedly undermined by one member’s actions, enforcing accountability becomes critical.

Experts suggest that such a pattern, if left unaddressed, could lead to resentment and even the eventual dissolution of what was once a unifying family event. Dr. Harrison advises, “Families that engage in large-scale, costly gatherings need to ensure that every participant is committed to the process. Otherwise, the financial and emotional burdens will fall disproportionately on the person who takes on the planning and funding”.

Thus, the decision to exclude the nephew is not about punishment—it’s about preserving the integrity of a cherished family tradition and ensuring that the collective effort is respected. While the fallout has sparked heated discussions and even threatened familial bonds, establishing firm boundaries now could prevent even larger conflicts down the line. Ultimately, the organizer is left with the difficult choice of prioritizing the health of the family tradition over the inclusion of one unreliable member, and experts agree that sometimes, tough love is necessary for the greater good.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

The Reddit community has been unequivocal in its response. Many redditors praised the decision, pointing out that the nephew’s repeated last-minute cancellations have cost the organizer significant sums of money and time. Comments ranged from straightforward endorsements of setting boundaries to humorous jabs at the nephew’s lack of accountability. The overwhelming sentiment among users is that if you commit to an expensive, carefully planned family trip, you owe it to everyone involved to follow through—especially when non-refundable costs are on the line.

This story raises the critical question of how to balance family loyalty with practical responsibility. When one member’s repeated unreliability threatens to undermine a longstanding tradition, is it fair—or even wise—to continue extending invitations? The decision to exclude the nephew, though painful for some family members, might be necessary to protect the integrity and sustainability of the annual trip.

What do you think? Should traditions come with strings attached, and where do you draw the line between inclusion and accountability? Share your thoughts and experiences below—your perspective might help others facing similar dilemmas.