AITA for not inviting my friend skiing when I was going?

A Reddit user (20F) shares their dilemma about skiing solo to improve their skills while avoiding the pressure of keeping up with their more experienced friends. After their friends were upset that they weren’t invited to join on practice days, the user wonders if they were wrong to keep those trips to themselves. Read the full story below to get the full picture and weigh in on the situation.

‘ AITA for not inviting my friend skiing when I was going?’

I (20F) am a beginner skier. I started skiing two years ago with a day pass, did about four days last season, and this is my first year with a full season pass. I also bought some decent used skis to make it worth the cost. I go to school in Colorado, so I can easily drive up to ski for a day and then come back to sleep at home.

For context, I’m confident on green runs and can handle blues without much issue. However, I’m not skilled at tricks, and the one time my friends took me on a short black diamond, I was terrified. I just recently figured out the difference between parallel turns and carving, and I’ve *almost* mastered hockey stopping but still lack confidence in that skill.

Here’s where I might be the a\*\*hole: sometimes I don’t invite my friends when I go skiing. Skiing with them can feel intimidating because they’re better than me, and I feel pressured to keep up or tackle harder trails I’m not ready for. I hate feeling like I’m holding them back or risking my life on trails they prefer.

When we do ski together, they typically leave me toward the end of the day to tackle harder runs while I enjoy some peaceful time working on greens or easier terrain. So, this season, I decided to ski solo more often to practice and build my skills and confidence. This way, when I *do* go with them, it’s more fun for everyone.

It’s been working! I’ve improved a lot and recently invited them to ski. They were surprised at how much better I’d gotten. I’m still no pro, but I was keeping up with them much better than usual, and I even tried some small jumps in the terrain park—though I still fall sometimes.

They asked how I’d improved, and I explained that I’d been skiing on my own to practice. They got upset that I hadn’t invited them to join me on those practice days. I tried to explain that those days were just for repetitive drills on greens and small parks, and I didn’t want to feel judged or pushed to advance faster than I was comfortable with.

The car ride home was tense. (For context, I’m the main driver for our group since I have the only car that can fit everyone and the gear. Others have cars that can make the trip, but not with everyone and the gear so mine is the go-to.) While the silence isn’t unusual, it definitely felt awkward this time. Now I’m wondering if I was wrong for not inviting them to join me on my solo ski trips, even though those days were specifically for personal practice. AITA?

See what others had to share with OP:

CrinklyPacket −  NTA. You don’t need to include people by default. If you want to ski alone, you ski alone. It’s your hobby, you can choose who you share it with. Just because people also ski doesn’t mean they have to come with you every time. Don’t feel bad!

Aware_Welcome_8866 −  NTA. Omg. You can go where you want, when you want and with who you want. Your friend group isn’t tied at the hips. You are an autonomous adult, and as such, their behavior was ridiculous.

The1Eileen −  Based on your penultimate paragraph, OP what your “friends” are upset about is that you are their ride to and from skiing. They likely don’t go if you don’t drive. So, they want you to drive them more often.

Because how you describe them acting/being in the paragraphs before that are not what friends do. They don’t mock you for learning, they don’t pressure you to do things that you aren’t ready for. These are using-taking-leeches who want you to be their driver and their punching bag. You are NTA – they are jerks. Go by yourself and enjoy it – and find people **already there** and make friends with them. Stop being the taxi driver.

Street_Papaya_4021 −  NTA you’re not obligated to invite them everytime. They’re just being selfish and are mad because *you* are the most convenient way of getting there.

77Megg77 −  NTA. You are entitled to enjoy doing something without inviting others to come along. Adding even one extra person can alter the vibe of a trip. You wanted to focus on specific things and that might not have been possible with others there. And any of them can make their own smaller trip too. You may have the most room in your vehicle, but that doesn’t mean others cannot ski unless you are going.

OldestCrone −  NTA. How old are those people? They certainly are not adults because adults do not act that way.

endor-pancakes −  I understand that they find it a bit weird you didn’t invite them, but you don’t need a reason to want to do things by yourself. And in fact, you even have one (it’s repetitive stuff and you don’t want to be judged), so you’re double NTA.

Tinkerpro −  Well, you didn’t need to explain anything. They are asses because they pressure you to take hills you aren’t ready for. If they wanted to ski, they can get there themselves. Surely you are not the only person they know who drives.

NTA, you aren’t required to invite anyone with you, it is perfectly acceptable to go skiing by yourself. Since you seem to have had fun. You should carry on going alone when you want or inviting someone with you. When you want.

Individual_Metal_983 −  NTA. You wanted to improve your confidence in areas where they are already skilled. Where’s the issue?

FyvLeisure −  NTA. It’s perfectly fine to go by yourself. ESPECIALLY when you’re still learning. The fewer distractions, the better. Your friends sound very entitled.

Do you think the Redditor was wrong to ski alone for personal practice, or should they have invited their friends to join on those days? How would you balance personal growth with group dynamics in such a situation? Share your thoughts and advice in the comments below!