AITA for not inviting my coworker to my wedding?

A Redditor (28F) is navigating wedding guest list drama after deciding not to invite a coworker, Emily (30F), to her intimate wedding. While their relationship is friendly at work, they’ve never connected outside the office. Now, Emily feels excluded, and other coworkers suggest it could create tension. The poster is torn between sticking to her decision and avoiding workplace awkwardness.

‘ AITA for not inviting my coworker to my wedding?’

I (28F) am getting married in a couple of months, and my fiancé and I decided to keep our wedding guest list small. It’s an intimate event, reserved for close friends and family only. While I enjoy chatting with my coworkers during the workday, I’ve never really considered those relationships to be personal friendships that extend beyond the office.

There’s one coworker in particular, “Emily” (30F), whom I work closely with. We get along well at work, but we’ve never spent time together outside the office. I didn’t think twice about not inviting her to the wedding, especially since my fiancé and I are trying to keep the guest list as small as possible.

However, word of my wedding got around the office (I guess someone mentioned it in passing), and Emily seemed surprised—and a little hurt—that she wasn’t invited. She made a comment along the lines of, “I thought we were friends,” which immediately made me feel awkward and guilty. I tried to explain that we’re keeping things small, but she still seemed upset.

To make matters worse, some of my other coworkers chimed in and suggested that I should have invited her since we work so closely together. A few even hinted that not inviting her might make things uncomfortable in the office moving forward. Now I’m starting to feel like I’ve created unnecessary drama.

On the one hand, I feel like I shouldn’t have to justify my guest list—it’s my wedding, and I believe it’s fair to prioritize the people I’m closest to. On the other hand, I can see how Emily might feel excluded, especially since we do spend a lot of time together at work.

I didn’t mean to hurt her feelings, but I also don’t think our work friendship necessarily translates into an invitation to such a personal event. Still, I can’t help but wonder if I misjudged the situation or if I’m being too rigid about keeping the guest list small. Am I the asshole for not inviting her?

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Successful-Maybe-252 −  9 years later the only people I would change having at my wedding was the table of coworkers I invited out of obligation!

karma-craft98 −  Nta you’re not friends & have never hung out personally so why would they be expected an invite to your intimate wedding. Those others coworkers sound nosey too.. your wedding invites have nothing to do with ppl you work with who are not actual friends outside work.

mikialana −  NTA. It’s your wedding, your rules and you have complete authority to invite whoever you want. TBH if we don’t hang out outside the office then are we really friends?

Weak_Dig3856 −  NTA don’t let this person manipulate you. They have a deluded notion of what your wedding means to them but they have no idea who you are outside of work. They just want in on your positives. Has this person ever invited you to anything personal to them outside of work? Do they gave your mobile number? If yes, have they messaged you about unrelated to work things? What’s her mom’s name? How many siblings does she have? Which school did she go to?.

You don’t know each other. She’s just caught up, don’t let her sway you. If you start to feel guilty, by all means invite her to the reception but the actual wedding would be crazy.

opelan −  NTA. It sounds like you are just work colleagues, that is it. If one of you changed your job, your most likely wouldn’t keep in contact. That is not a friendship. She clearly needs real friends if she is confused about the difference.

dudleymunta −  I just can’t get my head around a grown adult actually approaching a colleague and complaining they weren’t invited to their wedding. I’ve got a serious case of second hand embarrassment.

South-Ad-9635 −  NTA – and I’ll tell you an even cringier story… Many years ago at my current workplace, co-worker Anna invited some of her work friends to her 3 year old kid’s birthday party. She didn’t invite me, which was fine because it was a freaking birthday party for a kid and I’d pay money NOT to go to one of those. However, co-worker Thomas who had been hired a month before me and was most definitely not even a work friend to Anna got literally whiney about not being invited and wormed his way into going to the kid’s party.

Thomas resigned-rather-than-be-fired within a year under some dodgy circumstances. Last thing I heard about him was getting himself arrested for insurance fraud. So I guess where I’m going with all that is that co-workers who try to whine their way into your non-work events are probably going to be trouble down the line and should be nipped in the bud.

Traditional_Fan_2655 −  Did you invite the other cowprkers who told her? So she was one of the few left out? If so, I would handle this carefully. I would pull her aside and say you do consider her a friend. However, since the two of you had never hung out together outside of work, you thought the pressure of a wedding invite being your first outside work event would be too much pressure.

After all, you would be so busy, the two of you would not have a chance to speak beyond a greeting. You didn’t want her to feel awkward. You would prefer to hang out when your world settles and the two of you can have fun.