AITA for not inviting family members to my wedding?

A Redditor shares a story about how their family’s treatment of their mom’s wedding years ago influenced their own wedding decisions. After many relatives skipped their mom’s wedding due to disagreements over her same-sex marriage, the Redditor vowed to not invite those who didn’t show up.

When it came time for their own wedding, they followed through, inviting only those who supported their mom, sparking a family conflict. Read the full story below to see how the situation unfolded and how the family reacted.

 

‘ AITA for not inviting family members to my wedding?’

This goes back 3 years when my mom and her girlfriend got engaged. My mom put in so much time and energy into organizing this wedding and was so excited. She sent out invites to all our family members 4 months in advance, & almost everyone confirmed they would be going.

Barely a week before the wedding, she received several messages from aunts and uncles who said they wont be going because they had “other commitments” despite confirming they’d be there months prior.

One of my aunts (my grandma’s sister) confronted my mom and said many weren’t going because they still didn’t agree with the fact that she was marrying a woman, including herself because it went against her “Christian views”, meanwhile my hardcore Christian grandma was more than happy to walk my mom down the isle.

This upset my mom but she tried not to let it ruin her wedding. I however, was furious. Only my grandma, my mom’s sister, a few cousins, and another aunt attended the wedding; while my stepmom’s entire family came.

What really pissed me off was that 2 wks later, my cousin who lives in a totally different state celebrated her sweet 16 and everyone who made excuses about not going to my moms wedding made the journey all the way over there and posted pictures all over Facebook. It really broke my mom’s heart and just felt like salt in the wound.

I swore then that when I got married, everyone who did not show up to my mom’s wedding would not be invited to mine.
Fast forward to now , me and my girlfriend of two years got married first week of March and I kept my word.

The only ones we invited to our wedding was the family that did go to my mom’s, and one other aunt who did have a good reason for not being there at the time because she was recovering from surgery. We even invited my stepmom’s family too.

Obviously my other family members found out and expressed their hurt over not being invited. I called them all out and said if they had a problem with my mom for being who she is, then they had a problem with me and I wouldn’t let toxic people be apart of a special day for me and my wife.

My wife stood behind my decision, as did my mom. That still doesn’t seem to stop them from thinking it was a d**k move and are turning it into a whole family drama because they think it was unfair to “punish” them for simply believing in something different. AITA?

EDIT: Wow thank you so much for all the love and support everyone! My wife is getting a kick out of these replies and I’ll respond to some when I have the chance. Also I know some of you were confused so I wanted to clarify that I am in fact a guy

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

[Reddit User] −  NTA. I’d have done the same thing. Exclude my mother and you’ll be forever excluded by me. The fact they RSVPed yes then pulled out makes it even worse.

njbella −  NTA. Your dedication to your mother is heartwarming. I would be beaming with pride if I were her. Wishing you both every happiness.

PmMeLowCarbRecipes −  they think it was unfair to “punish” them for simply believing in something different.
They believe that marriage should be reserved for a man and a woman only.

You believe that homophobes are assholes who shouldn’t be invited to your wedding.
If they can’t change their “beliefs” for one day then ooops neither can you. NTA.

welptheheck −  Nta you are a good kid for your mom. Tell them they and their views can go pound sand and you give a s**t how they feel. Just like they gave a s**t about your mum.. You guys dont need these bigots

Mot_20 −  NTA I’m proud of your grandma though, she went to your mom’s wedding despite being hardocre Christian. Nice lady. Also wtf is wrong with the rest of your family? Why they feel so entitled to go?

[Reddit User] −  NTA. You’re my hero right now. Thank you for backing up your mom in a very clear way. They didn’t want to go to her wedding because she married a woman. You didn’t want homophobes at yours.

Reasonable_racoon −  unfair to “punish” them for simply believing in something different.
Isn’t that what they did to your mum?

Hey, guess what, you’re allowed to judge people on their values and behaviour. You might have to accept consequences from taking a stand, which you seem prepared for, but they feel they should be immune from. They are the arseholes. You are NTA.

bringbackAlexA −  This sub is hilarious. No way OP actually is worried he is an a**hole. This sub just exists for people to tell their revenge stories.

chubalubs −  NTA-no one has an absolute right to be invited to any wedding. It’s up to you and your girlfriend to decide who you want to celebrate with.

_stelmariaNTA.When homophobes complain about their feelings getting hurt, it’s like, “and? So what?They’re inconsequential

Was the Redditor justified in excluding family members who didn’t support their mom’s wedding, or did they take things too far by holding onto past grievances? How would you have handled a similar situation with your own family?
Share your thoughts in the comments!