AITA for not interfering during a board game?

A Reddit user recounts a tense New Year’s Eve during a board game night with friends. The user’s girlfriend, frustrated with the group’s behavior and lack of focus during the game, clashed with another guest, Philip. The user stayed neutral, but their girlfriend accused them of not supporting her and prioritizing Philip over her. Did the user handle the situation poorly, or was it unavoidable? Read the story below.

‘ AITA for not interfering during a board game?’

This NYE, me (37M) and my girlfriend (30F) went to another couples house to play board game and have a few drinks. They invited someone else I’m good friends with, Philip (38M) and haven’t seen in a few weeks. My GF and I had been spending the day together in a spa, running errands and getting coffee.

Anyway, the night gets underway and were starting our board game. Nobody else but my girlfriend played before so she explained the rules. The board game was Ticket To Ride and decently complicated to explain, especially to a few drunk adults. The mood was rowdy and a bit childish, but as expected. I could see she was getting frustrated and annoyed with us, so during a smoke break I said to Philip to turn it down a notch and for us both to be more thoughtful of the situation.

Although that did help somewhat they both kept arguing and spoiling the mood, enough for everybody else to tell them to stop bickering. After that the mood was pretty terrible, but I feel it did recover somewhat. I concentrated on learning the game and paying attention to not rile Philip up more. Philip took it easier too and settled in a bit.

My GF was annoyed at people taking too long on their turns, rolled her eyes when were asking for rule clarifications or looked stuff up ourselves and to be honest was terrible at explaining the game in general.

When everybody goes outside to celebrate the new year I get into a huge argument with my GF about how we’re ganging up on her, how I’m not defending her and have been ignoring her all evening (by not sitting next to her). It gets pretty heated, but I tell her it’s not my responsibility how people react to her behavior and I’m not here to police her or Philip.

She says she does not enjoy our humor, and doesn’t get the constant shooting jokes back and forth where we make fun of each other. I tell her to lighten up, it’s a group situation and we all adapt to it and find a balance. Easier said than done I guess. She accuses me of not sticking up for her, and for only joking around with Philip and paying more attention to him than her.

We finish the game and what I can only describe as silence and everybody goes home. She went home instead of to my place as planned and I’m pretty upset that New Years was soured by this and feel there’s no reason for it to have gone this way.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

thisismyburnerac −  NTA. First off, TTR is not exactly the easiest game to teach, especially when alcohol and friendly banter is involved. I’m assuming she picked it because she was the only one who had played it before. So, bad choice for this night. I’ve really only ever enjoyed a game of TTR with people who have already played it. Maybe bust out TTR if it was specifically “game night” with the disclaimer of “this may be hard to pick up” vs NYE with a side of board gaming.

Second, she needed to take this way less seriously and she does sound high maintenance. I get that perhaps she felt a little out of place, and maybe even felt left out because you and Philip have a history she’s not part of, inside jokes, etc. She’s 30, a grown adult.

She should be able to read the room and realize the environment was more casual than that of a training on TTR. Third, as an adult, she should be able to handle herself instead of bickering, and be able to realize that she was the problem. Seems like she made the event about her and wanting to give you all the “gift” of learning this game.

Motor_Dark6406 −  NTA, Your gf sounds rude and controlling… She expected to dictate how new years Eve went for an entire group of people and then lost it when they struggled to play her game.

Switters81 −  Is ESH the right code for you’re all ass holes? A) ticket to ride is a simple game. It’s why it’s so popular. If you can’t pick it up in 10 minutes, you’re too drunk, or… But b) she should have chilled out. It’s just a game. If things aren’t going the way you want, calm down, have a beer, and lighten up.

But c) if you all agreed to play a board game, and then you all just f**k about, that kind of sucks. If you want to just f**k about play something like charades or cards against humanity. So you all sound pretty awful to me.

evilcheerio −  NTA. I have a rule at my house and that is I don’t bust out new boardgames when people are drunk. It’s basically giving someone a shitier sobriety test. There’s a reason officers ask drunk people to follow a set of instructions to sus out drunk people. Like unless the rules are dirt simple it rarely works out well.

albatross6232 −  There are some game nights where you just go f**k it and play Uno or poker. Trying to explain a new game to people who are drinking and just want to have a good time is honestly not worth the effort. This is what we ended up doing for the exact same reasons. As for the conflict with your gf, imo NAH. Looks like you both had different expectations of the night that didn’t line up at the time.

Hot_and_Foamy −  ESH really. Ticket to Ride is not complicated – it’s practically entry level when it comes to the wider range of board games. You have your routes to make, on your turn either pick up cards or put trains down. It’s the kind of game you play once and can immediately play again and it won’t take up your whole night.

Now if you’re too drunk to get that, it probably wasn’t the right time to try to teach you. And testing to force someone into a game is a sure fire way for people not to enjoy it. However you say that you went there in order to play the game and had all agreed to do so- at which point it’s on you to play it properly. Be glad it wasn’t Wingspan or some more complicated game.

neophenx −  Sounds like an ESH. A person should stick up for their partner, though if some personal jabs are just part of the group humor it’s usually a good idea to let people know in advance if they’re not as familiar with the group. But it’s an ES so there’s the other side of things.

GF getting upset that people who just learned the game for the first time are taking too long and asking questions is not good tabletop etiquette, especially if the group in general is not as versed or experienced with board games that are more complicated than Chutes and Ladders, or if the group is a few glasses deep in alcohol. For those kinds of settings, Apples to Apples, Superfight, or Cards Against Humanity are a much better fit. So poor sportsmanship and poor game selection.

Lopsided_Tomatillo27 −  YTA. You ruined your own night. When she asked why you weren’t stand up for her you defended Philip and then said it’s not your job to defend her. You told her she was on her own. And now you’re upset because she got the message and went home alone? If you’re not planning on starting 2025 off as a single guy, I strongly recommend apologizing to your girlfriend.

funkymonkeyinheaven −  ESH – Actually whoever picked TTR is the biggest AH. Know your crowd. That crowd needing Cards Against Humanity or something. Ticket to Ride is much more, quiet evening with a glass of wine kind of night. Trying to teach a whole room, drunk, on NYE. It’s suicide. Your gf needs to learn to let it go.

I’ve brought out a game before, tried to explain the rules despite the crowd making every effort to interrupt not listen. At that point you either change the game or buckle in for the messiest attempt of a game. It will be slow, you will repeat yourself, but you can’t get angry, it’s a losing battle. Getting angry at people who don’t like to play & are drunk is like being angry at the water for being wet. Just let it go & enjoy the ride.