AITA for not helping my sibling after they spent all their money on a vacation?

A Reddit user shared a tough situation involving his younger brother, who blew most of his savings on a European vacation and then asked for $2,000 to cover his rent.

The user, who has helped his brother in the past, refused to lend him the money this time, believing that his brother needs to take responsibility for his impulsive spending.

However, the brother is upset and accusing him of being selfish. The user is now questioning whether he did the right thing. Read the full story below to see how others weigh in on this sibling dilemma.

‘ AITA for not helping my sibling after they spent all their money on a vacation?’

I (32M) have a younger brother, James (26M), who’s always been impulsive when it comes to spending money. A few months ago, he told me he was planning a vacation to Europe with his friends. I knew he wasn’t exactly financially stable, but he insisted he was saving up and budgeting.

When he came back from the trip, he called me, asking for $2,000 to cover his rent. I was shocked and asked him what happened to the money he saved for the trip. He explained that he blew most of it on souvenirs, luxury dinners, and last-minute experiences, leaving him with nothing.

I was angry. He had clearly prioritized fun over responsibility, and now I was expected to fix it. I told him I couldn’t lend him the money this time. I’ve helped him in the past, but each time, he never seemed to learn from his mistakes. I reminded him that he needs to take responsibility for his choices and manage his money better.

James got upset, saying I was being selfish, that family is supposed to help one another, and that he needed a break. Our parents, who are supportive of James, think I should step in because he’s “young and learning,” but I’m not sure if that’s the right approach anymore.

Now, James is barely talking to me, and I’m left feeling guilty. He says I’ve always been the “responsible” sibling, and that I’m just holding it over his head. I feel like this is a pattern, and I’m tired of being his safety net.
AITA for refusing to help him this time?

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

sfrancisch5842 −  NTA. Let your parents pay to bail him out. After all, they literally created the monster, AND are enabling him. At 26 years old, he’s not still young and learning. He’s stupid and irresponsible. Paying his rent is not an unexpected expense.

perpetuallyxhausted −  I’ve helped him in the past, but each time, he never seemed to learn from his mistakes. He did learn. He learnt that if he falls short, you’ll be there to bail him out. Time for him to learn a different lesson.

Diamond_katey −  Your brother needs to learn to be responsible for his own finances. Continually bailing him out won’t help him in the long run.

Winternin −  NTA at all. You should NOT be enabling your brother to further his journey in becoming even more irresponsible.

LuneMirey −  NTA. You’re doing the right thing by not enabling him. Sometimes tough love is necessary for growth. A friend of mine had a similar situation, and setting boundaries helped their sibling become more responsible. Stick to your decision; he’ll hopefully learn to manage his finances better.

EchosVeil −  NTA. Sometimes tough love is necessary for people to learn responsibility. Your brother needs to face the consequences of his choices, and bailing him out won’t help in the long run. It’s okay to set boundaries, especially if you’ve already helped him before.

chibichhloe −  Absolutely NTA. It’s tough love, but sometimes it’s necessary for people to face the music of their own financial symphony. You’re not his ATM, and it’s important for him to learn budgeting and the value of money. Stick to your principles, and hopefully, he’ll come around to understanding the importance of self-reliance.

ShipCompetitive100 −  NTA-STOP enabling him to spend recklessly by bailing him out. If your parent’s think he’s “young and learning” tell THEM to give him that money. Do not back down or cave in. Don’t be an ATM for an irresponsible man.

buttpickles99 −  NTA – why is he so entitled to your money? Tell your parents if they want his rent payed to pay it themselves.

liittleteeny −  NTA. Your brother’s poor financial choices are *his* problem, not yours. You’ve helped him before, but he’s clearly not learning anything from it.

He’s an adult and needs to face the consequences of his impulsive decisions. It’s not your job to bail him out every time he screws up, and honestly, your parents should stop enabling him.

Do you think the user was right to stop helping his brother financially, or should he have stepped in to assist with the rent? How would you handle the situation with a family member who repeatedly makes poor financial decisions? Share your thoughts below!