AITA for not greeting my mom’s partner?

A Redditor asks if they’re in the wrong for not greeting their mom’s partner during a particularly exhausting week. Despite usually being polite and friendly, they were overwhelmed with burnout and unintentionally skipped the social nicety. Now, their mom is upset and giving them the cold shoulder. Read the full story below.

‘ AITA for not greeting my mom’s partner?’

My mum’s partner visits our house pretty frequently, pretty much every week. I (18M) don’t have a problem with him at all–he’s really nice and very respectful. I’ve always greeted him and made conversation when he visits.

On to the start of the problem: I had a really terrible day the other day and came home super exhausted and just out of it (To be honest, it wasn’t just that day, it’s been the past week. I think I’m getting burned out from school, work, and commuting).

I greeted my family half heartedly and explained that I was really tired before going up to my room for the night. The next day, my mum’s partner arrived, but I was still sleeping. I remember repeatedly waking up with a headache but then falling back asleep for the rest of the day.

My mum came in a few times to ask me if I could hang out with them but I remember telling her ‘no, thank you’. That evening, I only got up to submit an assignment I forgot about and then I went back to bed to fall asleep again.

The next morning, I felt a little better but still had a hard time getting out of bed. I only fully woke up at 12 pm. Went down to eat a snack and drink water, but my family and mum’s partner weren’t there. Went back upstairs to do some homework before falling asleep again.

When I finally got the energy to get out of bed to clean up and eat properly, it was already evening again and my family was back but my mum’s partner already left. My mum scolded me for not coming down to greet him and is upset/ignoring me. It really wasn’t my intention to be rude, I was just so out of it.. Am I the a**hole?

These are the responses from Reddit users:

allluringautumn −  NTA, sounds like you were completely burnt out and didn’t have the energy for social stuff, which is fair, you’re not feeling well. your mom’s partner seems chill, so he probably gets it, your mom might just be overreacting a bit. maybe just explain you weren’t trying to be rude, you were just sick

LoveBeach8 −  NTA. So when did you become the official Guest Greeter? He’s your mom’s partner, not yours and he’s not your dad. They’re not even married nor living together.

Kindly explain to her that after a bad week, you were exhausted from school, job, commute and assignments, had a headache and ask her why she seems to think that it’s so important for you to greet HER partner when you need your sleep.

No-College4662 −  The real question is why wasn’t your mother concerned about you being so tired? She owes you the apology and the concern. She’s excited about having a nice boyfriend but hopefully she hasn’t forgotten to be a tuned-in mom. NTA and take care of yourself.

Juniper-2704 −  If you slept that much in a couple days, you probably needed it. As long as you did let them know you were tired and politely declined to hang out as you said, definitely NTA. Seems like your mom should have recognized you were either coming down with something or just college exhausted.

Aggressive_Cattle320 −  NTA. You did nothing wrong. Tell your mother that you are sorry you weren’t feeling up to doing much, as you felt ill and over tired, and rested up to feel better again. Tell her that you did nothing to intentionally avoid anyone, and she is misjudging the entire situation. She is really being over dramatic. Doesn’t she ever get sick?

tuffyowner −  Obviously you were not feeling well.  Your mother is acting childishly by ignoring you.  NTA

Chance-Cod-2894 −  Oh for goodness sake! You were sick, and your Mom’s biggest concern is you greeting her Partner?? Hmmm, as a Parent she should have been more concerned that you were ill! Mom needs a Priority check! NTA, and frankly good for you for taking care of what your body needed.

cclmcl −  NTA. There’s no way you could possibly sleep that much without it being 100% necessary, which means it was actually very rude of her to interrupt your sleep at all. She should’ve been more worried and understanding because humans simply don’t sleep that much unless they severely need it.

For example when you’re sick, when you’re too burnt out, if you have a medical condition causing it. Doesn’t matter why, you needed all the sleep you could get and that’s that. It’s not advisable to ignore your body’s needs too much, though I understand you have too many obligations to follow your body’s needs too much

leximorgan2506 −  I don’t understand how you can be the a**hole in the situation when it wasn’t something you intentionally did. Nothing was out of malice. I’d say NTA.

RealHousewivesYapper −  If he is your mom’s partner and he comes over weekly he is no longer a typical guest in my eyes. He is someone that is slowly being intergrated in your family, and therefore there are different standards.

I would not go out of my way to greet him either at that point, just a hey when you happen to be in the same room would be fine? Especially when you are not feeling alright. Did your mom even ask how you were feeling before she started scolding you?. NTA

Was it reasonable for the Redditor to prioritize rest during a tough week, or should they have made an extra effort to greet their mom’s partner? How do you balance personal boundaries with family expectations? Share your opinions below!