Aita for not going back to my mom after she forced me to live with my aunt ?

A Reddit user shared their emotional story about being forced to live with their aunt at a young age by their mother. Over time, they grew closer to their aunt and uncle, finding the love and support they felt their mother never gave them.

Now, as their mother asks them to return home, the user is torn between guilt, anger, and the deep bond they’ve developed with their aunt. To delve into this heartfelt dilemma and see how others are responding, read the full story below…

‘ Aita for not going back to my mom after she forced me to live with my aunt ?’

I am 17m don’t really want to go back to my house, I just want to live with my aunt and I think of her as my mom than my own mom. When I was 15, my mom kept telling me that I should go live with my aunt, she would constantly ask me to go stay at her place,

I never understood why she would constantly ask me, at first it was just for a day or two, then it became week or even months. My mom raised me by her own, I don’t have a father and I know I might never know who my father is unless my mom tells me,

I was constantly worried about this, even when I was in school, I was jealous that other childrens had dads but I lack a father figure. So since past 2 years I have been living with my aunt, my aunt allowed me to stay with her, actually she helped me alot,

she gave me love, she helped me more than my own mother did, my aunt and uncle treated me as if I was their own. I grew closer and closer to my aunt, she hugs me alot and asks me everyday how I am doing and I found love from her I never did by my own mom.

I love to sleep beside my aunt and my uncle also treats me as I am his son and I am glad that I have a father figure in my life, I even started resenting my mom for kicking me out of her life. But now my mom is asking me to come back,

I said no I am not, she said she needs her son and it’s my responsibility to listen to her and take care of her after she raised me. I was angry at her for ignoring me and visit me once or twice a month, I said I am not coming back to her,

I will stay with my aunt and my uncle cause they love me more than you ever did. My mom said they love me as if I am their own because they can’t have children and as I am her child I should listen to her, I was shocked because I didn’t know about this,

anyway I told my mom I would rather stay with them cause they loved me more than she ever did. My mom and my aunt had a huge fight when she came over to pick me up, my aunt asked me if I want to go with mu mom, I said no,

my aunt kicked my mom out before leaving my mom said I am useless son who abandons their own parent Now I am feeling bad about all this, I love my mom but I am angry at her for how she treated me,

but I love my aunt and uncle and started calling her mom and I love to embrace my aunt and she helps me alot, she calms me down, she puts me in her arms and if I am feeling bad she even sleeps besides me until I fall asleep

My mom never did this for me, my mom would tell me that I am growing up and I should deal with it, so what should I do here? Should I go back to my mom? I think even if I do would she actually love me? I have so many questions

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

cowandspoon −  NTA. Stay where you are. You have a great thing going on with your aunt and uncle, and no one should interfere with that. The fact your mother called you ‘useless’ should be a pretty clear indicator that nothing’s changed: sounds like she only wants you back to be ‘useful’,

not because she has some boundless love for her son and realised the error of her ways. That’s pretty deplorable, and you shouldn’t be subjected to that. Whether you choose to continue a relationship with her or not, is your call entirely.

Even if your mother tried to pursue having you back through legal channels, at 17, there’s almost no chance any court would force you to go back.

Substantialgood4102 −  NTA. Sounds like Mom wants you to come home, get a job and support her. Stay where you are loved and supported. You owe your mom nothing. Children are not a retirement plan.

forgetregret1day −  Boy your mom sure talks a good game about not abandoning her but she’s done the exact same thing to you and now that she says she “needs” you, it’s a completely different situation. Her “need” scares me. She wants something from you, probably money, but definitely not your love.

She lost her chance when she pushed you away for whatever reason she had years ago and you don’t have any obligation to be or give whatever she thinks she’s owed now. Some people should never be parents and she’s one of them.

You found people who didn’t ask anything from you and gave you a home and their love. Stay right where you are. I’m happy you landed in a loving home. Your mother’s issues are not your problem to solve. NTA.

Dana07620 −  NTA Your mom only wants you back because she’s got some use for you. Not because she loves and misses you. Also, depending on what country you’re in, when you turn 18 you can do an ancestry test and that could show some relatives on your dad’s side so you can figure out who he is.

EDIT: Again this will depend on what country you’re in, but once you turn 18 your aunt and uncle might be able to legally adopt you so she’ll no longer be your mother.

SockMaster9273 −  NTA “They only love you because they can’t have kids” She should have loved you for being her kid. She should have been there for you. She wasn’t. She lost parents rights.

Happy_Dog1819 −  You seem to have two stable, loving, supportive adults in your life. Don’t throw that away for someone who says she is your mother, but does not act like a mother. You are NOT responsible for another person’s feelings or actions.

Worldly_Act5867 −  You are not at fault for any of this, it is ALL on your mother. Now, it seems she wants you back so she can use you for her own selfish reasins, not because she misses you or loves you. Please stay with your aunt and uncle who have treated you well

Apprehensive-Fox3187 −  Nta, easy stay where you are actually loved and cared for and that’s with your aunt and uncle, Not with your dna Sharer (I refuse to call that woman a mother after her behavior). Who only wants you back just to use you for her own benefits and not care about you at all,

Op she made it known to you she was only coming to get you just to use you, so no that is the last type of person you should feel guilty or sorry for, And if anyone abandoned anyone here it was that woman not the other way around, op let that selfish woman be by herself you don’t need her at all.

Salt-Finding9193 −  Don’t feel guilty. Live your life feeling good. Stay with aunt and uncle. Hug and cuddles  But stop sleeping next to aunt you’re not a baby. 

TypicalManagement680 −  Your mom is just rotten. You’ve done nothing wrong, your mom is flat out wrong and she doesn’t care about you, I’m sure she’s looking to use you somehow. Please stay with you aunt and uncle, where you are loved and valued.. NTA