AITA for not giving my sister her wedding dress because she didn’t invited my underage son?

A Redditor shared how his sister excluded his 17-year-old son from her upcoming wedding despite his significant contribution to making her wedding dress. Hurt by her decision, he decided to withhold the dress, sparking a family-wide debate. Was he being unreasonable, or was his reaction justified? Read the full story below.

‘ AITA for not giving my sister her wedding dress because she didn’t invited my underage son?’

I (40m) have a sister (30f) who is getting married in a week. The groom proposed to her a year ago at a family dinner that left everyone speechless, but very happy for them as they are longtime companions. During this dinner, my sister asked my son (17m) to make her wedding dress.

My son has always loved design and fashion, he took technical courses in these areas and sewing, and even his friends keep asking for his clothes because they are so beautiful. He agreed, but said that he needed time and that he would need her opinion constantly.

At first my sister was very annoying. My son drew about 50 dress designs in a month and she only liked one, which he continued with. He sewed it with great quality fabric which I paid for as I wanted to get involved in a certain way. For five months he made several adjustments to suit her wishes, as she always complained about something.

After a while, he arrived at the final model and it was just amazing. My mother cried seeing my sister in the dress and I confess that I almost got emotional too. The problem was that last week my son came to talk to me about the wedding invitation that had not arrived for him, but for other family members.

I thought maybe he didn’t need one, but it still felt weird. I messaged my sister raising this issue and she replied that she didn’t want any underage people at her wedding because there would be alcohol. I asked if she was going to make an exception for my son, but she cut me off and said no.

There are no children in our family, my son is the only minor, so I didn’t see any sense in this rule for family members. And to make matters worse, my son was very sad and cried because he spent months on this dress and couldn’t go to the wedding. I was very upset and told my sister that she should look for another dress as soon as possible, as she would no longer wear the one my son made.

She called and yelled at me, saying I was being unreasonable and that I couldn’t do this. My mother called me saying I should deliver the dress and follow the rules, but I didn’t and hung up on her. Because of this, the family is divided.

Many agree with me and condemn my sister’s action saying she could only make an exception, but another part says I’m unreasonable and I’m spoiling her big day. I don’t think I’m being wrong but just rational and paying her back in kind. So AITA?. 

Check out how the community responded:

[Reddit User] −  NTA. He should go, and wear the dress.

ButterflyOne6802 −  So your sister can’t have children at her wedding, but use your son as child labor to make her wedding dress? She’s TA.

Artichoke-8951 −  Well if he’s not invited he doesn’t need to give a gift. She should pay for the dress and if she doesn’t your NTA

Low-Wear-6259 −  NTA. If she is willing to make an adult sized request of a 17 year old, she should be willing to accept him as an adult. There is also no reason that a minor cannot attend a wedding with an open bar as everyone venue I looked at for my wedding, and ever open barred wedding I have attended, has had a bartender that checked ID’s.

andale01 −  If minors are not invited due to alcohol, then it’s not appropriate to wear a dress made by a minor….

Eadiacara −  NTA. OMG he MADE THE DRESS and wasn’t invited!?!? And so close to 18 too ! Your sister is TA. Also charge her for the dress, and make sure to account for time spent designing, too.

financiallybrokehoot −  NTA .The aunt FAFO, shouldn’t mess with the dressmaker. But whatever you do, charge her for the dress. It’s ‘priceless’ sure. The problem is, you’re setting a precedence to your relatives in place of your son. Now a lot of your relatives are gonna expect a free wedding dress because it happened once.

Yes, your son is still learning. Yes, you paid for the fabric. It’s still worth months of his work, his labour. Whether or not you give the dress to her, charge her. Especially since she was difficult to work with. Go to a small claims court if you have to, so that your son won’t be taken advantage of in the future.

TrelanaSakuyo −  NTA but your sister definitely is. She doesn’t want her almost adult nephew *who designed and made her dress* at her wedding because … there would be alcohol? I could understand if she didn’t want to make an exception for a friend, or even a cousin.

Making an exception for her **only** minor nephew, especially given that she could have pointed him out when people asked about the dress, would have been not only understandable but practically obligatory to anyone hearing about the circumstances. I have to wonder if she was even planning on letting anyone know who was the designer and tailor of the dress.

shnanogans −  NTA your sister is a piece of work. She’s fine with unpaid child labor but not five with inviting a “child” to an event with alcohol? Makes sense.

_Drumheller_ −  NTA. What an a**hole move of her not inviting the person who is making her dress, for free. Ask her to pay for the dress or invite him, her decision.

Do you think the father was justified in withholding the dress after his son’s exclusion, or should he have risen above the situation to avoid ruining the wedding? Was the sister’s rule fair, or should she have made an exception? Share your opinions below!