AITA for not giving my brother(and wife) the bigger room?

A Reddit user shared their experience about helping their brother and sister-in-law during a tough time, offering them a place to stay after they lost their home. However, tension arose when the guests demanded the larger bedroom, currently used by the Redditor’s baby, and even suggested that the hosts give up their own room. The disagreement escalated when the brother labeled the baby as a nuisance, leading to a heated confrontation. Was the Redditor justified in standing their ground? Read the full story below!

‘ AITA for not giving my brother(and wife) the bigger room?’

My brother’s wife lost her job. Which has caused them to lose the house they were renting. My brother asked if he could stay with me. I talked to my bf and he said sure. So, I told my brother yes, *BUT* he can’t bring any of their furniture with them. We don’t have any room for any of it. Our spare room has a bed and dressers in it already. He’ll have to find a place to store their things. He wasn’t happy about it, but said okay and that was that.

When they started moving their clothes and whatnot in, they started complaining about how small the room was. I ignored it, because they were used to a rather large house. And I was sympathetic, because I know how it feels to go from having everything to nothing. I apologized and told them that this was the best we had..

Issue: My son was in his room, and started crying. I went in there to check on him, and my brother got MAD. I usually keep his door closed when he’s napping(I have a baby monitor) and I guess my brother saw how ‘large’ his room is.

It’s not big, at all. By any means. It’s just bigger than the spare room. He asked “why the hell” we gave him the small room when we can just move our son into the spare room. I told him I’m not moving my son and all his things into a different room when the spare bedroom is perfectly fine for the two of them as long as they don’t try to move their entire house into one room.

He got mad. She got mad. They threw a fit. Then my brother asked why we don’t move my son into our room. I told him that my son’s crib won’t fit in our room. And again, I’m not moving him just to to accommodate them.

The last week or so has been very…tense. Small comments here. Cold shoulder there. Petty shoulder checks from his wife if we cross close together. I’ve kept my mouth shut, because I love my brother, and I don’t want to cause trouble. Plus, if they weren’t so pissy(I guess is the word) they wouldn’t be hard to live with.

They’ve started to complain that my son’s crying at night is keeping them awake. Which, I get, but he’s a baby. He only wakes once a night to eat. And that’s not even all the time. This morning it all came to a head when my brother told me I should move into the spare room and let them have mine and my boyfriend’s room so that they don’t get woke up by the baby.

When I told him no, he started yelling. Calling me selfish and entitled. Told me that I should let them have my room, because my son is “an annoying little s**t that keeps them up every night, all night.”.

Where I may be the a**hole: I saw red. Let me start this by saying I did NOT yell at my brother as he yelled at me. I said “If you can’t appreciate the room you were given, you can go elsewhere. My boyfriend and I have been more than accommodating to you. You constantly complain. You’re ungrateful and rude. Get over yourself or get out of my house.”

ETA: I’m asking if I’m TA because my mother called and told me I’m an a**hole for not giving the married couple the big bedroom with the connected bathroom. And apparently my other siblings agree?

ETA2: They do not pay rent. My boyfriend and I own our home and don’t pay anything on it. They pay the difference on the electricity bill and buy some of their own groceries. I do the majority of the cooking and all the cleaning.

ETA3: Boyfriend and I are going to talk about kicking them out tonight when he gets off work.

ETA4: I will update y’all tomorrow 😂

See what others had to share with OP:

CocoButtsGoNuts −  Nta. Your brother called your son, a literal BABY, an annoying s**t. Girl you need to evict him and his wife yesterday. He does not get to cause an inconvenience in your home to your family, insult your child, and make sleeping arrangement demands because he’s bitter he has a smaller room than he wanted.

RedoubtableSouth −  Calling me selfish and entitled. Told me that I should let them have my room, because my son is “an annoying little s**t that keeps them up every night, all night.” That is some g**damn nerve right there to call *you* entitled and insult your infant son when **you** are giving them a place to live and accommodating their whiney, entitled asses. NTA. I wouldn’t even call you an a**hole if you told them to be out by the end of the month.

ScammerC −  NTA, but you are entitled. Entitled to decide what room you donate to your brother. Entitled to decide what room your baby sleeps in. Entitled to safety of your person, and how you want to be respected in your own home. And entitled to tell them to shut up or ship out.

But you should sit them down tonight, explain that you understand their position, obviously things aren’t working out, and you are sad that you couldn’t make it work. You are sorry that things got heated.

So you are giving them written notice to move for the end of November. You can’t have the stress and tension. The horrible things they say about your child, and the assaults by your SIL. In the meantime if they find something sooner, you’ll return this months rent.

djincognito −  Oh absolutely NTA. Shoulder checks as in she physically hits your shoulder with her shoulder? That would have been enough for me to kick them out. How can they be so entitled. I’m glad you stood up for yourself and family. I think it’s time they leave for good.

Feeling-better2day −  NTA. Ahhh, the hypocrisy. You’re ARE entitled to your own things that you pay for in your own house. The “entitled” label was misapplied in this story. It is because you love your brother that you should ask him to move on ASAP. Living together is gonna destroy your relationship. He and his wife haven’t accepted their position, and are trying to usurp yours.

In your shoes I’d tell him that I love him with all my heart, but that I’m worried that living together a moment longer will destroy too many relationships (uncle-nephew, BIL-BIL, etc). The way he spoke about your son/his nephew is heartbreaking.

Aninerd_13 −  Please update that you kicked their ungrateful asses out of your house!

[Reddit User] −  So your brother insults your child and his wife physically assaults you (shoulder checks) and this is your response? You’re either stupid or patient, but NTA either way.

[Reddit User] −  Nta. Beggars can’t be choosers and I wonder how big the rooms are UNDER THE BRIDGE. He’s the.entitled one and I would say you won’t entertain any conversion about that topic anymore and that they should look into living elsewhere.

Borgteddy −  NTA. Your brother and his wife are guests in your house. They should be grateful that you gave them a place to stay. They are ungrateful for wanting to take your son or even your room. And as for they crying. If they don’t want to be woken up by it they can get earplugs or move out and get a place of their own.

Ombre_CelloGirl −  NTA. This is your house, you’re literally doing them a favor and they complain about it? Beggars can’t be choosers. Why do you even need to ask this?

Do you think the Redditor was right to stand firm about the room arrangements, or should they have made more compromises for their guests? How would you handle such an uncomfortable living situation with family? Share your thoughts in the comments below!