AITA for not giving away my child’s rare backpack?

A Redditor shares a family conflict that arose after their sister demanded one of their daughter’s rare, discontinued backpacks as a gift for her boyfriend’s daughter, whom they’ve never met.

The Redditor explains how their daughter has a large collection of beloved backpacks she shares on social media, and giving one away—especially such a sentimental piece—was out of the question. However, the sister insists and even suggests including her boyfriend’s daughter in the popular TikTok account. Read on for the full story.

‘ AITA for not giving away my child’s rare backpack?’

My 13 year old daughter has been obsessed with loungefly backpacks for the last 3 years. Everyone has bought some for her. She probably has 50 or so and is constantly showing them off. She has a large following on instagram and TikTok showing off her bags. (I monitor her activities and help her post she does not even have access to the accounts on her her own)

My sister Stevie just started dating this man who has a daughter Zoey who is 15. Stevie has had financial issues due to her lifestyle habits. I believe her boyfriend is in the same boat but both are recovering.

However Zoey has a birthday coming up and Stevie wanted me to give her one of my daughter’s bags that she saw on instagram because it is Zoey’s favorite character and the bag has been discontinued. She showed me the price on ebay it’s about $500 and Zoey really wants that bag.

The thing is it was one of my daughter’s first bags and she love that character. It’s also my daughter’s property and it’s not like I can just give away her things.

I told her I would split the cost of a new bag for Zoey if that’s what my sister wanted since she’s short of funds but my sister insisted she should give Zoey the rare bag and put Zoey on my daughter TikTok.

I told her the TikTok is my daughter’s project and I’m not putting Zoey on it. I have this conversation with my youngest children who are 7 & 10. That their sister doesn’t have to include them in the video if she doesn’t want to. My sister thinks I’m being s**fish about the bag and not including Zoey on her “Famous TikToks”

I told my sister she’s being ridiculous and we have never even met Zoey and making these demands is ridiculous. My sister said I and my daughter are spoiled and bougie and she will never ask for my help again.

My mother understands and sided with my daughter and I so my sister made a big TikTok about cutting toxic family members off. It’s kind of ridiculous of her and I’m not talking to her now and my mom told her that she needs to apologize for this. My sister acts like I’m b**lying her and Zoey but again I have never even met the teenager.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

ProfessorYaffle1 −  NTA. It’s not your bag to give away. Your daughter hdoesn’t know this girl, and she loves the bag and that character, so it seems unlikely that she would wish to give it away, especially to someone she doesn’t know.

You were very genreous in your offer to split the cost to buy a bag so Zoey could have a bag of her own – obviosuly familiesvary but I would not have thought that ‘child of your sibling’s a new boyfriend’ is someone you would normally expect to buy giftsd for, other than perhaps a small gift if they are joining the wider family for christmas , or if you are invited to their birthday party.

Your sister is being greedy and e**itled. If her relationship flourishes and yor daughter gets to know Zoey, then of course she may chose to include her on Insta or TikTk,bu it is bzarre to expect herto indluce a random person she’s never met. Is your sister normally this unhinged or is this unusual for her?

GirlDad2023_ −  ‘ My sister said I and my daughter are spoiled and bougie and she will never ask for my help again.’ Well then it’s a win-win for you and your daughter. Your sister doesn’t respect you or your daughter. So you just saved yourself half the cost of the backpack you offered to pay for. NTA.

LawyerDad1981 −  As dumbfounding as I find it for a kid (or anyone) to own FIFTY backpacks, your sister is obviously being both e**itled and ridiculous.. NTA. Where the hell do you STORE all of these?????

Fearless_Spring5611 −  NTA. Stevie wants a $500 bag for her stepkid, Stevie needs to get $500 together herself.

Ducky818 −  NTA but your sister is a d**zy of one. You are correct in that it is your daughter’s property to do with as she pleases. Your sister can ask but needs to accept whatever answer she gets. She believes she is e**itled to other people’s things. She is not.

You are lucky if she doesn’t contact you again if this is her behavior. She needs to earn to get what she wants.
You are being MORE than generous by offering to contribute to an expensive purchase for a kid you don’t even know. You’re better than I.

Yo-KaiWatchFan2102 −  “It’s also my daughter’s property and it’s not like I can just give away her things” OP you are right, it’s not your things to give away it’s your daughters things to give away if she wants to, if Stevie wants to buy a $500 bag for her daughter then she can do that.

NTA, OP, I think your sister has become an e**itled parent, she’s not e**itled to your daughter’s stuff, I would also keep an eye on her when she’s around your house, e**itled people usually have only two modes, what’s beneath them and their own reflection, I get the feeling that if she is over at your house, she may attempt to steal your daughter‘s bag.

Also, when your sister says that she will never ask for your help again, I’d be like “oh, you promise?“ 

GaimanitePkat −  ESH. Your sister for her ridiculous request. You for allowing your children to fall into the hypercapitalist conspicuous consumption machine of social media. A thirteen year old child should not have a “large following” on social media. A seven year old does not need to be broadcasted to an audience of a million strangers.

TheFilthyDIL −  NTA. Given the number of posts we see where parents have given away their children’s stuff because “you’re too old for that” or “I thought you didn’t care about that anymore” or even “you have 49 other backpacks, don’t be s**fish!” I commend you for being a responsible parent who doesn’t steal from your child!

Stranger0nReddit −  NTA. Yeah, insulting both you AND your daughter will magically make you want to give her the backpack….
The backpack belongs to Zoey. Just because they are family doesn’t obligate Zoey to give them HER backpack. They can save up and buy their own. So my sister made a big TikTok about cutting toxic family members off.. oh, guess she’s doing you a favor.

Missus_Nicola −  Which bag is it? I love loungefly.

Do you think the Redditor was being unreasonable, or was their sister out of line with these requests? How would you handle such a situation if a family member made similar demands? Share your thoughts!