AITA for not doing a favor for my dad and telling him I don’t owe him or his favorite wife and kids favors?

After the death of their mother, the OP and her siblings faced an emotionally tumultuous childhood marked by their father’s callous behavior. He gleefully declared that her mother was a regret, prioritized his new family over them, and even went as far as labeling them selfish for wanting him to be happy. Over the years, he consistently neglected his responsibilities toward his grieving children,

focusing instead on his “favorite” half-siblings and his new wife. When a minor favor request—picking up a birthday gift—came from her father for his new family, the OP refused. She asserted that she doesn’t owe him or his new family any favors, as they never treated her and her full siblings with the care they deserved.

‘AITA for not doing a favor for my dad and telling him I don’t owe him or his favorite wife and kids favors?’

Family therapists stress that establishing clear boundaries is crucial, especially when past neglect and favoritism have left lasting scars. Dr. Laura Markham explains, “When parents fail to provide equal love and support to all their children, it’s healthy for the affected children to set boundaries that protect their own well-being.

Refusing to cater to a parent’s demands—when that parent has consistently neglected their needs—is a necessary step toward self-respect.” (https://www.ahaparenting.com) In this case, the OP’s refusal to perform a favor for her father is less about being uncooperative and more about rejecting a long history of emotional abuse and inequality.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

The Reddit community largely supports the OP’s stance, with many condemning her father’s treatment of his full children. Commenters have called him a “louse” and a “bully,” noting that his expectation for favors, despite his longstanding neglect, is utterly unreasonable.

Many advise that the OP and her siblings consider reducing contact with a parent who repeatedly prioritizes his new family over them. The consensus among readers is that she is justified in drawing boundaries after years of being overlooked and devalued.

This situation raises tough questions about familial obligation versus self-respect. Should a child be expected to continue catering to a parent who has shown little regard for their emotional needs? How do you balance family loyalty with protecting your own well-being? We invite you to share your thoughts and experiences—have you ever had to set similar boundaries with a family member, and how did you navigate the fallout?