AITA for not contributing to staff gifts and calling out my colleague for taking full credit?
A woman declined to contribute to her office’s annual $30-per-person Christmas gift for management after realizing the colleague organizing it was taking disproportionate credit. Despite the gift being labeled as from the staff, the organizer (F56) added her name first on the card, leading management to thank her exclusively.
Upon deciding to opt out and organize her own smaller gesture, the woman sent a polite but pointed email referencing the situation. This caused a stir, with other staff members following suit and refusing to contribute, leaving the organizer scrambling. Now, some colleagues accuse her of being petty and un-Christmas-like.
‘ AITA for not contributing to staff gifts and calling out my colleague for taking full credit?’
So, here’s the deal: Every year since I (29F) started at this job (office job), there is one person (F56) that arranges an annual “Staff Christmas gift”, where they ask everyone to contribute $30 total per person towards gifts for the 3 top executives.
In the last two years that we’ve done this, the 3 people in management who have been given the gifts have come down to our office and thanked that one person (F56) profusely for her generosity and how sweet she was to do this etc.
Last year, I asked her if she gave something from just her as well and if that was why they thanked only her? She said no, but since she was the one who handed the gift basket to them and wrote the card (there were 3 others inc. me who built the actual baskets, she just insisted on doing the card),
they maybe misunderstood (note that she always does this first thing in the morning and will take the basket from our office and go up by herself regardless if people say they’d like to join her, and just say she “forgot” they wanted to come with)… Well, I checked with one of the assistants because I am petty.
The assistant told me that while the card said that it was from the staff, it did say “*name of the lady* and the rest of the staff”, and that the same thing had happened the year before. At the time, I did not say anything and just made a note of it for this year.
Now, here’s where I may have been a bit of an AH: This year, this lady once again sent out an email asking everyone to contribute a minimum of $30/per person for these 3 people. One of the owners retired earlier in the year, but she felt he’d still really appreciate a gift.
I answered the email and said: “Dear *name*, thank you for reaching out regarding this. I have given a lot of thought to this throughout the year, and have decided to organize my own gift this year instead with a smaller amount as it’s been a tough year financially for me and many others.
Perhaps you can edit last year’s card to say: “Love from *her name* and the rest of the staff, except for *my name*? Thank you, and happy holidays!” About 5 minutes after I sent the email, she came storming over and told me that I had no right to accuse her of taking credit for the gifts and not including everyone’s name.
I asked if it was untrue that that’s what her card said last year – to which she answered that that’s how she’s always written the card. Apparently, she’s currently scrambling,
because a lot of other staff members are choosing not to join her gift this year, and her friend (F60) has told me that it was super petty and “not very much in the spirit of Christmas of me to ruin the gift to management this year” while grumbling about how selfish I and other younger staff members are who don’t want to contribute to the gift. So Reddit, am I the a**hole in this situation?
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
AFistoCat − Why are you guys getting your executives gifts at all?
Loquacious555 − I’m curious why the heck the “bosses” need gifts at all?! Don’t they make significantly more than the underlings? That’s just ridiculous. NTA that lady deserves everything she’s got coming to her.
Scav_Construction − NTA but where the hell do you work that all the staff buy presents for the executives. £30 each!?!
SoMuchMoreEagle − NTA At the very least, they should have passed around a card for everyone to sign. I also think it’s s**tty to expect the employees to pitch in for a gift for (the presumably better paid) management.
similar_name4489 − NTA the only a**hole is the one who uses other’s money, time and labour to buy their boss a gift from them. I bet she didn’t even contribute any money. Frankly, you should have loudly asked the assistant why the three bosses snubbed all the other staff members who paid for and prepared the gift.
pixyfire − NTA. Gifts always flow down the chain of command. Never up the chain of command. The bosses should not be getting gifts. They should be giving you a bonus or gift card or something. This is business etiquette 101. This woman is completely out of line.
GemGlamourNGlitter − NTA. She knows exactly. what she’s doing putting her name and then everyone else. as a general. group– it’s . a conniving thing to do. If she wants to get credit, she can get it with her own money all by herself. Lastly, if they are executives, they make good $ and should. be giving. the staff. gifts. and/or bonuses.
rucafromtheeastside − NTA. It’s a gross culture when regular employees are expected to give nice gifts to management. Even grosser when one employee wants to take the full credit for it.
Prestigious-Bluejay5 − First of all, gift giving goes down. The owners, executives, managers, give to the people who report to them. No way should you all be collecting to give to people who probably make significantly more than you. Yeah, stop that tradition right now.. Signed,. A former Director of Marketing
Was she wrong to call out the organizer’s credit-grabbing behavior, or was she justified in standing up for fairness? How would you handle office politics like this? Share your thoughts below! Read the original story below…