AITA for not continuing a relationship with my ex wife’s daughter?

A Redditor shared their story of cutting ties with their ex-wife’s daughter after a divorce prompted by the ex-wife’s repeated infidelity. The user had helped raise the girl for eight years alongside their own daughter but decided not to maintain a relationship after the marriage ended.

Despite repeated requests from the ex-wife to continue the bond for the child’s sake, the user has declined, citing the betrayal and the fact that he is not the girl’s biological father. The ex-wife accuses him of being heartless, but he believes the situation stems from her choices. Read the full story below to understand the dilemma.

‘ AITA for not continuing a relationship with my ex wife’s daughter?’

My wife of 8 years had an affair with a co worker. I stayed married to her because our daughters have been together since they were 2 and 3. She had an affair with the same guy again so I threw her out and divorced her. Now, she texts me and emails me despite me telling her to leave me alone, begging me to have a relationship with her daughter and to allow my daughter to have one with her as well.

I’ve explained to her several times that they aren’t sisters and I’m not her daughters father. Her own father is a POS, so, I get it but that’s not my problem any more. She should have considered the consequences of her actions before she did anything.

I was okay with raising a kid that isn’t mine while we were married but she she showed her appreciation for that by cheating so now she doesn’t get access to me in any capacity. She tells me I’m cruel and heartless because her kid is miserable without us. I told her to ask the guy she cheated on me with to raise her kid. AITA??

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Purple-Philosophy-75 −  NTA. it is sad for the kids, but it’s better for you to make a clean break so everyone can heal. My dad was married and I had a step brother and step sister for awhile when i was a kid. They divorced and I never saw them again. I lived. To this day I don’t even think about them or their mom.

Simple-Parsnip-867 −  As a social worker, my heart hurts for the child that lost an adult that she is attached to because of her mothers actions. She’s not your responsibility of course, but if you haven’t already, you should consider having a conversation with her and answer questions she might have before completely disappearing from her life.

iseeisayibe −  NTA. The sad reality is sometimes the best choices for the person in charge aren’t great for everyone else. That happens a lot to kids. All you need to care about is making sure you and your daughter are mentally ok. It would be cruel of you to take on your ex step daughter if you don’t want to. She’ll know you don’t want her. Maybe your ex will learn her actions impact her daughter. Ultimately, this is all her fault.

No-Doubt9679 −  You gave her a chance and she F’d it up again. What more does she want from you. That’s why I against the whole 2nd chance after cheating. It never seems to work.

Fancy-Boysenberry864 −  NTA. I do feel bad for her child. But she needs to get tf away from u. Yes that little girl should have a man in her life buuuuuuuuut that’s on mom. This is the consequences of her actions. She found a man that stepped up to be there for her daughter she cheats and op still gave her another shot.

And what does she do for this man that’s far better than me, she cheats on him again with someone else. She’s just gonna try to weasel her way back in. Jus ever see her again.

Educational-Buy7017 −  NTA, but your daughter may feel like she’s lost a sister. I’d talk to your daughter and she how she feels about it. Granted she may lie about it just to please you. For 8 years they were sisters, don’t let kids get wet under our storm.

CarryOk3080 −  Nta. She cheated. She didn’t care about her child only spreading her legs.

notAugustbutordinary −  It’s sad for the child, but from a legal stand point you’re correct and your ex should have thought of what the consequences of her infidelity could mean for both of them. I’m sure that you and your own daughter are also feeling loss but the choice to remove your ex from your life was one of self protection and it is difficult to criticise that particularly as this behaviour from her must appear m**ipulative. If the child contacts you as an adult have you thought about how you would feel about that?

petulafaerie_III −  I don’t think you should actively prevent your daughter from continuing her relationship with your ex’s daughter if she wants to continue to have one. That’s unfair to both of the kids and takes away from your daughter’s autonomy and agency to make her own choices. But you are NTA for no longer wanting a relationship with your ex’s child yourself.

gretta_smith93 −  Info how does your daughter feel about a keeping a relationship?