AITA for not chasing down the waitress?

A Reddit user recounts a tense dining experience where their husband became increasingly frustrated with a waitress who was overwhelmed by a sudden large party. After delays in service, he demanded that the user or their kids chase down the waitress to retrieve his debit card. The user, hesitant to cause a scene, opted to wait, which led to a heated argument with the husband afterward.

Now, the husband believes he’s owed an apology for the lack of support. Was the Redditor wrong for refusing to intervene? Read the original story below…

‘ AITA for not chasing down the waitress?’

So I’m at a Tex-Mex joint with my husband and two teenage kids. The service and food was decent and we were having a pretty good time. Out of nowhere a party of 30 walk in, sending our waitress into a tailspin. It took her a few extra minutes to get my husband’s second beer so he was getting annoyed. Then he got even more annoyed when it took some extra time for her to return to our table with the check.

He shoved his debit card in her hand as she walked by and then got more irritated when she didn’t come back with it right away. He was trying to force me or my kids to go chase her down to get the card back but we were hesitant to make a scene, especially because she was running around like a chicken trying to get drinks to the additional tables.

Finally, 5 minutes later she came back with his card and we left and he was ranting and raving the whole time home about how unacceptable the service was and was really mad at me for not trying hard enough to get the check in a timely manner. He ruined our night and thinks I owe him an apology for not sticking up for him.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Independent_Road_148 −  NTA. Maybe he was having a bad day, but ruining the night for the rest of the family isn’t the best way to handle that situation. Service people get paid poorly and an unexpected large table is a strain on already short resources. The waitress was doing the best she could. Five-ten minutes wait is not that big of a deal unless you NEED to go somewhere else (and in that case you should budget more time).

After visiting Canada I don’t understand why the US is so backward that they can’t bring a card reader to the table like they do there. Would solve so many problems including this one.

fanofthethings −  You’re NTA but your husband sounds like one. Why couldn’t he chase her down if it was so important to him? I hope this is a one-off and not a regular occurrence because you literally did nothing wrong.

Ok-Syllabub-1292 −  Hi op.   Are you sure he’s a grown man, not a 5y.o. Who needs his mum to show him how to stand up for himself?? He made it into the restaurant, so it is fair to expect he can follow the waitress himself to the register.  Tell him to man up and move on from your case.  

DaveyDumplings −  Sorry, was there a piano tied to his leg?

No-Names-Left-Here −  Sounds like he should not be allowed to drink in public. NTA, if he wanted it back that bad he could have gotten up and went over to her.

mamaleo29 −  NTA and as the mom of one current server and other former servers, your husband only made the situation worse.

Dittoheadforever −  You’re NTA. So he wanted you to fight the battle for something he was angry about, then had a little tantrum and ruined the evening for everyone in your family. I hope he isn’t in the habit of blaming you when he can’t manage own emotions or grow a spine and fight his own battles.

Foxlikebox −  NTA your husband sounds like an ass and if he wanted someone to chase her down so bad, why wasn’t he the one doing it?

Particular-Vast12 −  My dad did something like this once and I told him the service wasn’t ruining the night, his bad attitude was.

Always_B_Batman −  Your husband is that a**hole who gets uptight with waitstaff that are doing the best they can under the circumstances, like an unannounced party of 30. The biggest a**hole in this whole story is the party of 30 mobbing the restaurant.