AITA for not changing my routine for a house guest?

When you work from home, your routine is not just a matter of habit—it’s essential for productivity and peace of mind. In this story, a 45-year-old woman explains why she refused to overhaul her nighttime work routine for a visiting friend. Despite her efforts to keep noise to a minimum while typing, printing, and taking work calls, her friend complained that she was “way too loud” at night. Now the host is being accused of being inconsiderate for not adapting to her guest’s preferences. But is it fair to expect someone to change their personal habits for a short-term visitor?

‘AITA for not changing my routine for a house guest?’

Experts in personal boundaries and work-life balance emphasize that maintaining one’s routine is crucial for mental health and productivity. Relationship expert Dr. John Gottman notes, “Setting and respecting personal boundaries—especially in shared living or working spaces—is essential. When someone is asked to change core habits for the sake of a guest, it can lead to feelings of resentment and discomfort.”

In this case, the host’s activities—typing, printing, and taking quiet calls—are inherent to her work. While it’s considerate of her to try to minimize disturbances, expecting her to completely change her work habits for a short visit is not reasonable.

The situation calls for a balanced approach: a conversation where both parties acknowledge the need for personal space without imposing unrealistic demands. Rather than forcing a change, mutual understanding and compromise should be the goal, preserving both the guest’s comfort and the host’s routine.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

The Reddit community has weighed in on similar scenarios with mixed opinions. Many agree that if there was no prior agreement to change routines, the host isn’t obligated to do so. One commenter remarked, “If you haven’t committed to altering your work habits for every guest, you’re not the a**hole for sticking to your routine.” Others suggest that a little extra courtesy could go a long way—but only if it doesn’t compromise one’s essential work.

Ultimately, this story challenges us to consider the balance between hospitality and personal necessity. Is it fair to expect someone to adjust core habits when their work routine is integral to their day? Or should guests accept that not every host will change their behavior for a week-long visit? We invite you to share your thoughts and experiences. Have you ever been asked to alter your routine for someone else—and how did you handle it? Your perspective might help others navigate similar conflicts.