AITA for not cancelling a boys trip upon my wife’s request?’

A Redditor, a 33-year-old man, planned a golf trip with friends six months in advance, securing his wife’s approval before booking flights and accommodations. As the trip approached, their 1-year-old son began experiencing sleep regression, leading the wife to request that he cancel the trip due to concerns about managing alone.

The Redditor, having invested time and money into the trip, refused to cancel, leading to arguments with his wife. While they’ve reconciled, both continue to hold their original stances. Read the story below to see how the couple navigates this conflict over personal plans and family responsibilities.

‘ AITA for not cancelling a boys trip upon my wife’s request?’

So here is the backstory. Me (33m) and my wife (32f) have a 1 year old son. Back when he was 5 months old, my friends and I began planning an annual golf trip, that would take place 6 months later. As soon as we had tentative dates and location, I asked my wife if it was okay to go. She gave me approval and I began to plan.

I found an Airbnb and booked flights. Fast forward to 5 months later, a couple of weeks before the trip. Our son was in the midst of a sleep regression and he was waking up several times each night. My wife still breastfed him and he would not accept me when he’d wake up upset. As a result, she was left doing all of the tending to him during the nights.

One day she approached me and said she didn’t want me to go anymore and that I needed to stay home because she was afraid it would be too much for her alone. I told her that I understood why she was anxious about it but she had agreed to me going already, and Id committed about $1k plus had the Airbnb in my name for all 12 of us.

This evolved into an argument and she was very mad that I would not change my mind. I told her that I’d gladly return the favor on a trip if she wanted to plan one, and encouraged her to do so. During my trip, she sent me texts and called me, very upset. When I returned home we had another argument about it.

We’ve since reconciled but I know her stance on it has not changed, nor has mine.. AITA?

Lets dive into the reactions from Reddit:

allycat1229 −  NTA. Does she not have family nearby? Do you not have family nearby? Did you take all of the other people she knows on the trip with you? She had plenty of notice to even arrange an out of town visit for help at the point where your kid started his sleep regression.

Wasting that amount of money is insane to me and seeing the number of Y T A votes in this thread is staggering. I’m a mom and I flat out sent her father on a trip while she was in a sleep regression because having him around being effectively useless since she only wanted me made everything approximately 100x harder emotionally and mentally.

Accomplished-Mud2840 −  NTA. And honestly I don’t understand all these people on Reddit that can’t handle taking care of a kid by themselves. I know this comment will cause me to have downvotes but it’s okay. Like okay she can put the kid in bed with her and breastfeed the baby there.

Then she can nap throughout the day. What happens if the husband was on a business trip? She will be okay. But when you get back make sure you take the baby for a couple of days.

oodlesofotters −  INFO: did you try to find or arrange anyone that could help her out while you were gone? NTA. Updated based on the edit. I know it can be hard to trust anyone with a baby, but I feel like having a friend, family member or well-vetted babysitter come to help out for a few hours each day he was gone so she could take a nap was the most reasonable option, as this was a long planned trip where money would be lost if they canceled.

gts_2022 −  NTA. If genders were reversed, people here would be claiming your SO is controlling and t**ic, just like it happened in a similar post a little time ago.

Just_Papaya_6669 −  NTA, situation is unfortunate but single parents manage to survive without a partner all the time, one week is not end of the world. People seem to be forgetting that here.

huggie1 −  NTA. Sleep “regression” is tough to deal with, but it’s not an emergency. As a mom of three I have spent years tied down breastfeeding and tending to one infant after another while my husband traveled for work at least half the month.

The wife in this story has taken vacation from their ONE child, but somehow when it’s the father’s turn he’s an a**hole for wanting to go? I feel sorry for him, his wife is such a snowflake that she can’t hunker down for a week or so, take naps when the child does, etc. Or call friends and family if she needs a break while her husband is away.

SirRabbott −  Are yall for real? That’s a single weekend trip. There are THOUSANDS of parents out there raising kids entirely by themselves and she can’t handle ONE WEEKEND by herself with 6 MONTHS of time to prepare.

The followers on this page are ridiculous. Flip the genders and everyone would be losing their minds that “dad is complaining about babysitting his own children, you’re a parent too you should be able to handle 2 measly nights by yourself”. NTA tell your wife to woman up

[Reddit User] −  Could no one come stay with her? I feel like there’s a middle ground option

Ok_Homework8692 −  NTA No one was dying or sick – I get the wife was stressed, but what do single parents do? They live through it – the trip was planned months ago and paid for. It was a one-time event, not a monthly thing.

Dense-Passion-2729 −  I can’t with all the people comparing saying “she should be able to do it easily because I have five thousand kids and do it by myself daily!” And crap like that. Let’s not compare and shame other parents, particularly moms, having a hard time. You don’t know what her experience is. That being said- NTA.

You planned well, you asked her input, you communicated, you offered help. I’m not sure what else you could have done here. I hope you were still able to enjoy your trip and if she’s open to weaning soon, encourage and help her plan her own.

Balancing personal interests and family needs can be tough, especially with a young child involved. What do you think? Share your thoughts in the comments!