AITA for not canceling a non-refundable trip for Thanksgiving?
A Reddit user shares their dilemma about not being able to attend their in-laws’ Thanksgiving celebration, which is held on the Saturday after the holiday every year. They had already purchased non-refundable tickets for a dinner theater on that Saturday, which cost nearly $200.
After realizing the conflict, they informed their in-laws well in advance, offering to host Thanksgiving at their home instead. Despite this, the in-laws are upset, with the father-in-law expressing frustration. The Redditor is now questioning if they were wrong for not canceling the tickets and taking the loss. Read the full story below to get all the details.
‘ AITA for not canceling a non-refundable trip for Thanksgiving?’
My in-laws always do Thanksgiving the Saturday after. My husband (28M) and I (26F) bought tickets to a dinner theater over a year ago that are non-refundable (almost $200) When we purchased them, we didn’t realize it was the Saturday after until about 2 weeks later.
I immediately texted my MIL letting her know that if they did it the Saturday after this year (2024) we wouldn’t be able to make it. (Texted her 11/10/2023) We invited them to our house for actual Thanksgiving day as my husband and I (and kids) stay home on actual holidays.
They of course complained and my FIL told my husband that he knew they did Thanksgiving the Saturday after and that it seems we are just waiting for a funeral. (We have a medically complex son, they live an hour away and it’s hard to travel with him)
AITA for not eating the cost of those tickets because they decided to still stay on the weekend after even after we told them over a year ago that we wouldn’t be able to go?
These are the responses from Reddit users:
Dull-Assistance1910 − In part, the answer depends on how much $200 means to you. If you have Elon Musk money, then of course, you’d eat the $200. If you’re a normal, young family, where every dollar counts.
Then it is really bad for your inlaws to lay this guilt on you. In my world, a good parent would be delighted that their son and his wife had an opportunity for a nice evening out.. So I say NTA.
houseonpost − NTA: But your husband should be dealing with his parents, not you.
Kitotterkat − NAH because you told them, but I kind of think they still have a reason to be upset. you started this story with saying that your in laws ALWAYS do thanksgiving the saturday after.
for holiday traditions I see dates like this as a standing “in perpetuity” appointment until you have a family conversation and change the plans, so I think it was kinda l**e to change the plans without discussing it with them first and informing them after.
I think this is also compounded by the fact that other people besides your family attend your in laws’ thanksgiving, so your alternative of them coming over on thanksgiving wasn’t sufficient.
Livid_Western7133 − Go. Have fun. This shouldn’t be a huge shock considering you informed them about it a literal year ago.
PhysicsTeachMom − I’m sorry but why are you traveling to them at all? When a family member is ill, medically fragile, or frail you travel to them. Stop making the effort for people who don’t care about you, your husband or your kids.
Your husband seems ambivalent about the relationship. Follow his lead. I had to do that with my MIL for my husband’s mental well-being and we were friends before (she’s older than me). She was a good friend but a truly awful mother.. NTA
Ipso-Pacto-Facto − So you can’t make it this year, and you told them 50 weeks ago. They don’t own the Saturday after Thanksgiving. It’s an invitation. They can still have their event. The sun will still come up, I’ll bet.. Have fun.
ExcellentAbroad7 − What if you didn’t go to their thanksgiving just because you didn’t want to? This is 2024 and we should all be past the guilt visits.
If you don’t want to see us the rest of the year why should we travel to you just because it’s a holiday? You are a married family and it’s completely justified that one year you just might not want to go. Enjoy your date!!
GirlDad2023_ − Enjoy the dinner theater with your husband. Your IL’s will find a way to survive. NTA
Trick_Few − NTA The comment about waiting for a funeral was below the belt. Shame on them.
Ok_Expression7723 − NTA. You told them about it a year ago. You won’t be able to make it to every holiday at their house forever. That’s not how life works. Go have fun at the dinner theater! That sounds like so much fun.
Do you think the Redditor was wrong for sticking to their non-refundable tickets, or should they have prioritized the family gathering instead? How would you handle this situation? Share your thoughts below!