AITA for not buying my wife food because she was sick?

A Reddit user (38M) shares a recent incident where he unintentionally upset his wife (39F) by not bringing her dinner while she was sick. She had mentioned she could only handle light foods, so he assumed she’d be fine with cheese and crackers as she suggested.

However, after bringing food home for himself and his son, his wife was upset that he hadn’t thought to check if she might want something different. Now, he’s questioning if he was inconsiderate. Read the full story below.

‘ AITA for not buying my wife food because she was sick?’

So my(38M) wife(39F) has been horribly sick the past few days to the point that anything more than toast or crackers has been causing her to vomit. So on my on my way home from work today I call her to see how she’s feeling.

She says she is feeling a little bit better and wants to try eating some cheese and crackers for dinner tonight, just to see how she can hold that down. After that, I call my son(17M) to ask what he wants to dinner. He says a chicken wrap from a local sandwich place.

So I stop there and get him a wrap and a sandwich for myself. I dont get anything for my wife because I figure she wouldnt want anything as sick as she’d been and anyway she’d already established what she wanted to eat. When I get home my furious that I didn’t get her anything.

She tells me that I should have at least thought to ask her, and accuses me of ‘only caring about yourself.’ An accusation I find especially hurtful since the only reason I stopped for dinner was because my son wanted it.

I feel shes right though that I should have considered that she might want something else, or at least asked for verify what she wanted instead of just assuming. So with that in mind, AITA?

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Fluffy_Sheepy −  NTA. She literally already told you what she felt capable of handling and intended to have(cheese and crackers). It wouldn’t make sense to call her and be like, “are you SURE you’re still too sick for normal food?” And you weren’t thinking of yourself, you were thinking of your kid. Hopefully this is just illness and hunger making her unreasonable and she will apologize for it later. Hopefully. 

fbombmom_ −  NAH. You’re not psychic, and she didn’t ask, but it would have been nice to order her a soup or a simple sandwich. If she wants it, she’s happy for the surprise, and you seem super thoughtful. If she doesn’t want it, you or your son have a meal for the next day.

Local-Professional80 −  When my family gets to the cranky phase of minor illness, it always means they’re on the upswing. Grab soup next time you’re out. She’ll be ready for it.

Overall-Lynx917 −  Going out on a limb here, so I expect down votes. You were wrong, your wife has been ill but she’s on the mend. I know she told you she wanted cheese and crackers, but, would it have killed you to have got her something you know she likes?

If She is feeling better she may have been tempted to eat a little of what you bought. Even if she didn’t eat it, you simply showing you thought of her would have done wonders for her morale. Plus you have a 17 year old son – at that age they are basically food hoovers so it wouldn’t have been wasted.

You had the opportunity to cheer up your sick wife and blew it. I appreciate that I’ve only been married for almost 50 years and therefore do not fully understand how to make a marriage work.

canyonemoon −  NTA but yeah, it’s usually smart to be like “hey, [son] asked me to pick up some food, are you interested in anything?”. It’s a quick thing to do and just makes someone feel included.

Federal-Ferret-970 −  YTA. She made her choice based on foods at home not stopping by a restaurant for something. Now your not a huge a**hole but come on. The optics are extremely bad.

Anachronisticpoet −  INFO: in what ways *have* you been there for her while she’s been sick? What does she typically do when you’re sick?

Sunnywithachance099 −  The fact you were going to stop for something was new information that might have changed her stance on what she was going to eat if she had known about it. I eat cheese and crackers when I have no energy and the thought of making something is just too much. A quick phone call to say hey I am stopping here, can you be tempted with anything would have been considerate.

FruitParfait −  NAH. I would have called my husband and asked if he wanted anything from the sandwich shop anyways. Soup is always a good option and a cheese sandwich is on par with cheese and crackers.

rawbrownie −  Well.. you could‘ve asked her, just in case. Just a quick call.

Do you think the user should have checked with his wife before buying dinner, or was it reasonable to assume she didn’t need anything extra? How would you handle this situation if your partner were ill? Share your thoughts below!